The idea behind matchmaking has been around for as long as dating. There is always a situation when someone knows someone who would "be perfect" for someone else. And sure many relationships probably started out that way. It takes the pressure off the daters, because the middle man has done the work for them. But the problem is out of every one relationship that started out this was maybe ten have failed miserably. There our "professional" matchmakers that produce better odds because they study people and relationships as a career. But even they cannot guarantee that they will find someone's perfect match. Matchmaking is not exactly a perfect science...Or is it?
eHarmony is a relatively new concept in online dating. When you look at the big picture, personals have been on the web for a long time before eHarmony was even a thought in somebody's head. But apparently something in the online dating world had called for a change or at least that is what the founders of eHarmony thought. The whole idea behind the site is that a lengthy, intimate personality profile is the only information needed to find a compatible match. This profile is developed by a relationship expert, or a psychologist specializing in relationships, or even better, a "relationship scientist". They use the term "scientifically proven" effectively to give daters the feeling that something more important is going into their online experience. Their matches are "hand-picked" and delivered to them with a shiny red bow and all they have to do is pick which ones they want to talk to. This is a battle of science vs. free will. Sure they get to choose from their "perfect matches" but these customers go into the experience with the idea that whatever eHarmony gives them has to be the perfect person for them because the choices are based on proven science.
The problem with this is that it takes away from the dating experience which should be just as fun as the ensuing relationship. The typical personals websites, like Match.com and Yahoo! Personals, in a way are more like the outside world. Really the only difference is that dater knows who is available and looking to meet someone. But the ability to choose who they want to talk to and who they do not want to talk to is still there. No one swoops down and picks out two or three people and says these are the people who you should be talking to. On a large dating site, there are literally hundreds of thousands available singles, and the only restriction is set by the daters themselves. Do they want to meet someone down the street or from across the country?
If you have not figured it out yet, I am not a big fan of matchmaking websites. Sure they may work well for some people. Those who do not have the time to enjoy the dating experience. Those who have given up on the more conventional way that two people meet, those who do not know what they are looking for, or even possibly those who like having things just handed to them. Dating should be more like a system of trial and error, good and bad experiences, and most importantly meeting people who are not like yourself. How is it that you get to meet new and interesting people that you can learn from, when people are hand-picked for you because they are most like you. It is not like I do not believe in science, I am a scientist myself. But sites such as eHarmony use the term science too loosely. They definitely use it to their advantage, convincing many people that matches that are given them are the most scientifically sound choices for them. But what about the million other singles on their website that they never get to talk to because they answered some questions differently on a test.
The bottom line is that online dating does not have to be all that different from the real world. It should be a fun experience. You should be able to make your own decisions from the first point that you log into the website. Walk up to that person that catches your eye and say "Hi". The worst thing that could happen is that you do not get a response or hopefully a polite "sorry, not interested". Go ahead and make some mistakes that is part of the whole experience. But during the process you meet interesting people, experience new things, and maybe do something that you will remember for the rest of your life. And don't worry people on regular dating sites do meet that special someone all the time, but the also get the satisfaction of knowing that they were able to do it themselves. I am proof of that. If you want to know more about the most popular online dating sites look through the reviews on the top 15 sites and pick up your free copy of the 55-page guide to online dating success. And yes, eHarmony is there because it still is a popular site. How can it not be when you can't go 30 minutes without seeing its commercials on TV.
Chris Hickey Ex-Online Dater (met & married) "Been surfing the net for 12 years..seen some things that impress me and some things that disappoint me, but I am far from seeing it all."
The Best Reviews on the Best Products
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Hickey
