Throughout the ages, one of the hardest things about romantic relationships has always been resolving conflict. Those wise couples that work hard at their love affairs seem to develop rules to govern how they will behave when they fight. But in a face-to-face argument, you have the input from facial expressions, the sound and inflection of voice, and many other clues to let you know what he or she is really saying.
But in our modern world, a new kind of romantic relationship is becoming common that you may be thinking about or involved in. These are romances conducted on the internet. Cyber-relationships are exciting and fun and full of adventure. They take some getting used to, though, because instead of communicating through the spoken word and eye contact, so much of what goes on occurs in emails, instant messaging exchanges, and chat rooms.
Learning how to navigate this world requires almost a whole new language. We have to learn about how chatters talk using acronyms and little faces called emoticons. But in a world where every romantic opportunity could be the one you were meant to be with, we don’t want to look away from any world of romance that holds potential.
However, just as conflict and arguments get tricky in face-to-face romances, the problem is compounded significantly with a cyber-relationship where so much of what we say and communicate occurs just through words and even happens with greater spans of time. If you get a message from your lover that hurts your feelings, causes pain or grief, you need some ways to figure out how to resolve it successfully to get the relationship back on track to romance and excitement again. So let’s set up some rules for getting past the fight and back to that lovey-dovey relationship you both so enjoy.
Think before you hit send: If the fight is occurring through email, you have some time before you have to respond. Even in instant message chats, your responses can be slower than in a face-to-face fight. Teach yourself not to go with your first reaction and try to use the delay of the internet to think before you lash out and make matters worse.
Review, review, review: Even when you do draft your response, go back and read what he or she wrote before you hit send. It’s very likely you may not have read it correctly and once you get the real message they are sending , you can revise your response.
Take it at face value: The problem with email or instant messages is you only have the words. So try not to read attitude or mood into the message. A common mistake is if the person writes in all capital letters, they must be angry. It takes discipline not to impose your feelings and anxieties on the chat and give yourself perspective, but you can avoid countless misunderstandings that way. Also, don’t be sensitive about spelling or punctuation in these exchanges. It doesn’t mean they are insulting you or don’t know how to write, they are just in the passion of the moment, just like you are.
Use your “lifelines”: If the exchange gives you some time, such as email often does, go ahead and discuss the fight with your family or close friends. The one thing that goes out the window in any fight is your objectivity and perspective so use someone else’s to get a feel for what may be going on.
Discuss your conflict resolution rules with your sweetheart at times when you are on good terms and lay down some guidelines. Then when the fight is in full engagement, you both can reference those rules and throw some water on the fire before it damages something important to both of you.
DatingShare.com 100% free online dating site and matchmaking service for singles. Plus provides free dating forums with relationship advice and dating tips.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Wood
Monday, October 29, 2007
Choosing A Dating Location and Activity
Many times, dating can be like real estate: location, location, location! The value of a house depends more on the house's neighborhood than the house itself. Similarly, a date can only be as good as the setting. Unfortunately, there is no 'one-size fits all' date location or activity. When choosing the location of the date you must consider the specifics, such as your dates interests and how long you two have known each other.
No Experimenting On Early Dates
For a couple that has been together for a while, it can be fun to experiment with new places, such as a just-opened Indian-food restaurant. This is because a long-term couple will have already gone out on many dates to usual places. New and unknown places keep the dates interesting.
While daters are still getting to know each other, however, it works in the opposite way. New daters cannot afford to risk having a bad experience. While the risk makes the date interesting for a long-term couple, that same risk threatens the chances of even having another date for a new couple.
For example, imagine going to a new restaurant and finding out the service is terrible. What if the waiter spilled a drink all over your date?! A long-term couple may just laugh this off. However, if this is your first date, your date will probably be upset and want to go home.
Avoid The Classics
The old dinner-and-a-movie type of dates are over-done and boring. If you suggest this you may seem unoriginal and lazy to your date. This is especially important and true for early dates or first dates. What you want to do is think of a location and activity that is creative and original. You have to think of something interesting to do, so that your date will be interested in the date long enough to find out how interesting you yourself are.
Choose Your Date's Interests
When thinking of somewhere to go, you should consider what your date likes doing. Obviously, it will go better if your date enjoys the activity you are doing. If it consists of activities and locations that bore your date, then your date will transfer those feelings of disinterest onto you. In other words, if the location or activity is boring to your date, then your date will think you are boring.
You do not have to choose something your date specifically told you that he or she likes. Rather, you can choose an offshoot of something he or she likes. In fact, it is better to choose something that your date did not specifically tell you, because you will look more creative. For example, if you know your date is a Jet Li fan, then you could suggest going on a date to a martial arts class. Or, if you know your date likes to watch movies, you could suggest going on a date to a movie studio.
Location, Location, Location
Use the above tips to choose a great location and activity for your date. Pay attention to how your date reacts to the activity and location. Do not just listen to what your date says; make sure to read body language as well. If your date seems bored or uninterested, stop what you are doing earlier and either move the date to a new location and start a new activity, or end the date early. Remember, it is better to end the date early and go on another date another time than it is to keep going with a bad date and ruin the chances of another. Good luck!
Jonathan Baldwin runs a dating service comparison website, Matchmaking Service. You can find a copy of the article here, Choosing A Dating Location.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Baldwin
No Experimenting On Early Dates
For a couple that has been together for a while, it can be fun to experiment with new places, such as a just-opened Indian-food restaurant. This is because a long-term couple will have already gone out on many dates to usual places. New and unknown places keep the dates interesting.
While daters are still getting to know each other, however, it works in the opposite way. New daters cannot afford to risk having a bad experience. While the risk makes the date interesting for a long-term couple, that same risk threatens the chances of even having another date for a new couple.
For example, imagine going to a new restaurant and finding out the service is terrible. What if the waiter spilled a drink all over your date?! A long-term couple may just laugh this off. However, if this is your first date, your date will probably be upset and want to go home.
Avoid The Classics
The old dinner-and-a-movie type of dates are over-done and boring. If you suggest this you may seem unoriginal and lazy to your date. This is especially important and true for early dates or first dates. What you want to do is think of a location and activity that is creative and original. You have to think of something interesting to do, so that your date will be interested in the date long enough to find out how interesting you yourself are.
Choose Your Date's Interests
When thinking of somewhere to go, you should consider what your date likes doing. Obviously, it will go better if your date enjoys the activity you are doing. If it consists of activities and locations that bore your date, then your date will transfer those feelings of disinterest onto you. In other words, if the location or activity is boring to your date, then your date will think you are boring.
You do not have to choose something your date specifically told you that he or she likes. Rather, you can choose an offshoot of something he or she likes. In fact, it is better to choose something that your date did not specifically tell you, because you will look more creative. For example, if you know your date is a Jet Li fan, then you could suggest going on a date to a martial arts class. Or, if you know your date likes to watch movies, you could suggest going on a date to a movie studio.
Location, Location, Location
Use the above tips to choose a great location and activity for your date. Pay attention to how your date reacts to the activity and location. Do not just listen to what your date says; make sure to read body language as well. If your date seems bored or uninterested, stop what you are doing earlier and either move the date to a new location and start a new activity, or end the date early. Remember, it is better to end the date early and go on another date another time than it is to keep going with a bad date and ruin the chances of another. Good luck!
Jonathan Baldwin runs a dating service comparison website, Matchmaking Service. You can find a copy of the article here, Choosing A Dating Location.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jonathan_Baldwin
That Perfect Dating Profile
In the world of online romance, little things mean a whole lot. Just a picture and all that it communicates replaces all of those signals you exchange in an “in-person” flirting situation where eyes meet, you hear his or her voice and nonverbal communication is more powerful than words.
But words are all there is for the most part when it comes to attracting the opposite sex online. Yes, later after you have met and are communicating regularly with your lover, then you can move to voice over internet, microphones, or webcams to make the relationship more real.
But that moment of first contact, similar to the pick-up line or first flirtatious eye contact is replaced online by your profile. So putting some time and effort into making that profile sing out all the wonderful things you are will bring a reward of many interested contacts from online lovers.
That first impression
When you get started using your online dating service, take note of how you go about looking at the men or women you might want to contact. You use their search function to find people in the categories in terms of age, gender, preferences, interests, and physical appearance that you want to get to know. Then when you get a screen full of names, you might just get the picture in a thumbnail and a “pick-up” line from that person that you can use to see if you should open up their full profile.
There you have everything you need for that first “hook” to get the opposite sex to look at you. You have the search engine, the thumbnail picture, and that hook line.
- Look at your picture in terms of what is says in a “thumbnail” view. Make sure your image is large enough to be the center of attention. Have someone else evaluate it in that light.
- Get to know the search criteria very well on your dating service. Then tinker with your profile so your information is “hit” the most often of all when the guy or gal you want to meet goes looking for a match.
- Read several hook lines and decide what works for you. There are humorous ones, ones that are romantic, others that seem full of fear. Try to create one that really says to the prospective lover, "Look at me." Write out about twenty in your word processor before picking just one.
Do Your Homework
Finally, spend some time becoming a student of profiles. Read lots of them—not just of people who you are interested in, but also from people like you that are using the service. You might, as an exercise, go into your service and look for yourself. Do a search and see who the hits bring back. This is your competition. Study their profiles and create yours in such a way as to grab attention and get that inquiry before they do.
And don’t be afraid to change your profile and photo often. That will keep you fresh and people who are doing this search over and over each week will recognize you and see the new information and give you a fresh look. These tips will help you bring in more contacts from your online dating service and result in more romance and fun for you in this exciting new romantic world.
DatingShare.com: 100% free dating site and matchmaking service for singles. Plus provides free dating forum with dating tips and relationship advice.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Wood
But words are all there is for the most part when it comes to attracting the opposite sex online. Yes, later after you have met and are communicating regularly with your lover, then you can move to voice over internet, microphones, or webcams to make the relationship more real.
But that moment of first contact, similar to the pick-up line or first flirtatious eye contact is replaced online by your profile. So putting some time and effort into making that profile sing out all the wonderful things you are will bring a reward of many interested contacts from online lovers.
That first impression
When you get started using your online dating service, take note of how you go about looking at the men or women you might want to contact. You use their search function to find people in the categories in terms of age, gender, preferences, interests, and physical appearance that you want to get to know. Then when you get a screen full of names, you might just get the picture in a thumbnail and a “pick-up” line from that person that you can use to see if you should open up their full profile.
There you have everything you need for that first “hook” to get the opposite sex to look at you. You have the search engine, the thumbnail picture, and that hook line.
- Look at your picture in terms of what is says in a “thumbnail” view. Make sure your image is large enough to be the center of attention. Have someone else evaluate it in that light.
- Get to know the search criteria very well on your dating service. Then tinker with your profile so your information is “hit” the most often of all when the guy or gal you want to meet goes looking for a match.
- Read several hook lines and decide what works for you. There are humorous ones, ones that are romantic, others that seem full of fear. Try to create one that really says to the prospective lover, "Look at me." Write out about twenty in your word processor before picking just one.
Do Your Homework
Finally, spend some time becoming a student of profiles. Read lots of them—not just of people who you are interested in, but also from people like you that are using the service. You might, as an exercise, go into your service and look for yourself. Do a search and see who the hits bring back. This is your competition. Study their profiles and create yours in such a way as to grab attention and get that inquiry before they do.
And don’t be afraid to change your profile and photo often. That will keep you fresh and people who are doing this search over and over each week will recognize you and see the new information and give you a fresh look. These tips will help you bring in more contacts from your online dating service and result in more romance and fun for you in this exciting new romantic world.
DatingShare.com: 100% free dating site and matchmaking service for singles. Plus provides free dating forum with dating tips and relationship advice.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Wood
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