International personals

We live in fascinating times, when the world is small, jet travel is amazingly affordable, the Internet makes long-distance communication virtually free and immediate, and we can have friends half a planet away. This makes international dating a possibility that didn't exist just a few short years ago.

People seek relationships with those from other nations for a variety of reasons. Some are far from their original homes because of business or military obligations. Some once visited another country and developed a love of the people and culture. Some find an availability of partners elsewhere that exceeds that of their home country. Whatever the reason, there are international dating services that have developed to cater to the wishes of these people. Here are some of them.

These are only some sites that choose to emphasize their "foreign accents;" and they offer worldwide contacts; you need only choose the country or culture of preference when filling out your profile. The information provided on the sites is carefully selected by professionals, only desirable features are offered, and customers have no reason to be dissatisfied with ill treatment.

Each dating site has its own features, and it is up to you to choose which one fits your particular desires and demands. The site’ specific features also depend on the country, that is, on the culture of a certain ethnicity.

Though, this is an international service, and you can join the site of any country just sitting in front of your home computer, an American web personal will differ from a Russian web-personal and a UK or Asian web-personal will differ from them both and from each other. A Russian person will be write a more emotional and less detailed web-personals ad, that an American. He/she will give more space to philosophical and sophisticated problems.

An American or Canadian will be more particular about personal features and details. While a member of an Asian society will want to know more about your roots, your family and your origin. If a UK citizen will be careful about dating a stranger and will try to secure himself against all kinds of misfortunes, a Russian will rush headlong without thinking of the consequences. If something goes wrong, the person will only say: It was not to be! Next time he is likely to do the same.

An American will blow on water after burning himself on milk and consider everything twice before getting himself in a similar affair.

A Brit might choose to hunt for his love with a more traditional and conservative way. An Asian could simply involve himself in some revenge activities.

The number of sites offering online personals is great, and each site has its own particular features. So you have to scroll through a rather large amount before you hit on the thing you need.

Some web-personals sites include "MobileMatch," function letting you flirt via cell phone, and the custom compatibility match lets you compare your personality with those of other singles in your area. They also host live singles events throughout the country. Why not get in on the fun?

There are sites that offer a free profile and photo post to new members. They have three "communities" from which to choose - or play in all of them; dating, romance or intimate. With their own private phone system for premium members, you can have a private chat, and their "notifier" is a cool feature that lets you know when you have new matches or messages.

Some sites are the very thing for computer wizards. Geared to the young, energetic, and up-to-the-minute hip set, their upbeat membership will keep you interested and on the go.

You can also hit upon sites which can even boast an enormous number of marriages. Is you final goal to get married? No? Oh, you are fortune hunter! Your chosen field is love affairs. You are welcome! There are plenty of sites that do not give marriage statistics.

There's a number of sites which actually have members from the entire international community. Lots of high-tech features, instant messaging, great search features, and fun things to do like voting on whether or not you'd click on somebody - if you choose yes, you'd click on somebody, and they do the same for you, you get matched, which is just one of the things that's a blast about this online community.

Would you like to have a brief chat before engaging in any kind of “face to face” relations? Welcome to sites that offer an array of chat rooms and communities for all kinds of people with all kinds of interests seeking all levels of contact. As the name implies, you can find anything from a pen pal to a spouse. And, better still, with millions of members, you get others helping you look!

Well, well, well, guys. You are the ones that prefer solid and long-term relations. Then down-to-the-basics sites are your field, if thrill-of-the-hunt dating doesn’t suit you. You pick your own dates here, based on your own tastes and instincts. You can hone it down with their database search, but no computers will be doing the choosing for you.

Are you a romantic at heart and long for adventure? Find a site that's big on cute features like rating who of their users has gotten the most hits, kisses, and flirts.

Okay, you've seen the commercials with everybody waxing poetic about finding their soul mates. Now click for the full scoop. These “hot information” sites have an excellent record for making lasting matches. But, it's not for everybody. Read the review to learn why. If you decide it's for you, head on over.

http://singles.syl.com/internationalpersonals.html

Alternative personals

We are used to the fact that dating is for men and women. A man searches for a woman and vice versa. That is in the nature of things. But in nature (again that capricious creature) do exist things that can be called uncommon. These are lesbians and gays. Someone may call them disgusting and annoying, because such peer-groups cannot have children. This is not what was predetermined by Mother Nature.

Why does that happen? No one knows. It may be due to people’s surfeit. They have too much of everything and are free to do everything thy want. They are wed up with what they have, wanting something extra. That may also be a mere mistake of nature. What ever it can be, nowadays people have become more tolerant and also indifferent. They prefer to exist in their own world, not to interfere in things not affecting them directly.

And what do those do, who are considered outsiders? They do live, love, work, entertain. They try to stick to those alike, not to disturb and annoy ordinary people. So, who is considered as abnormal? That’s right, people of non-traditional sexual orientation: gays, lesbians and swingers.

How do they meet? Can they find a special web-personals site? Sure, they can.

The clientele of Gay/Lesbian/Swinger Personals sites spreads across all barriers of language, creed and age. These days people are very busy and so do not get enough time for ordinary meetings with others of their kind or linkups with members of the same sex. Instead, they can quietly browse through these websites and fix up further meetings, if found interesting. This way you can easily meet a new gay/lesbian/swinger everyday and find out your suitable mate very soon.

There are not just a few to search for Gay/Lesbian/Swinger Personals. You will be surprised to find that the numbers run into thousands and millions. No doubt, the websites are so popular. All peer-group members have to do is to sign on certain particular websites. Then they can start searching for their soul mates free of charge.

The peers can place their advertisements also on the Gay /Lesbians/Swingers Personals website. They have to give all Their personals details- preferences, photographs, likings and disliking, their lifestyle, etc. The sites also offer them messaging services, chat rooms, online voice greetings, etc. They can probably find the match they had always wanted to. Some sites also offer entertainment services and news.

Gay /Lesbians/Swingers Personals websites try to entice members into their fold by offering exclusive services. Some of them offer pen pal services, dating services, gay/lesbian/swinger bulletin boards. Everything is free. If you are a game to these, go ahead and sign up at any of these websites. What are you waiting for? Do not be afraid. You will be met by like-minded and friendly people.

Members at these Gay/Lesbian/Swinger Personals sites are from across the length and breadth of the universe. This also portrays their lifestyles. Peers too are a part of this world and have their own free will and voice. The sites offer them a platform to tell out their innermost feelings about everything under the sun.

http://singles.syl.com/alternativepersonals.html

Men & women personals

Dating has become a business. While that may sound ominous, the fact is simply that many people have been able to find mates by using internet dating services. Matchmaking is subjective, it would seem, yet there are ways to find common interests objectively. The particular chemistry that sparks a dating relationship is still the unknown quality.

Nowadays you can find web-personals of all types and kinds. Men, Woman, and what do you think, even married personals. Men seek women and women seek men. That is natural because a person can't live alone.

But why do people use the internet to find their match? Easy. Because they do not have do leave their homes and hand about local clubs, bars and other places of the kind. It is fun of course, but how long can you stand that fun? And, by the way, hanging out alone doesn't make much sense. You might pick somebody of course, but that would most likely be one-night relations. And you are looking for something more, aren't you?

Using the web-personals you can easily afford staying at home and at the same time communicating with some one. What is the main thing here, you can choose and even specify the search parameters. While in a club or bar you have to rely on Gods and fate, you can choose only from what there is at hand and hope that once the door will open and there will come the man/woman of you dream.

So why there are Men, Women and Married personals, and also spark love personals for those who do like to wait and believe that there exists love at first glance.

Men and women take a different approach to finding their match. Women post an on a women personals site ad and receive responses. And they receive much more responses than men do. As a result, with the time women spend viewing the ads of the men that e-mail them and responding to those that they find interesting, there is no time and no need for them to search the men personals ads. Surely, women do scroll through the men personals sites, but they do that not as often as men scroll though women personals sites.

Men are hunters by nature. The Internet changes nothing, that is just another field to expand and develop their hunting skills. It' still man chase women. Men cruise the ads on women personals sites more frequently than women search through men personals sites. Men write to the women they find interesting but do not just await a response. They may date several women at once, with each woman dated sure that she is the only one. Woman appear more honest.

Married personals is another matter. A married person can't openly search the internet to find their real perfect match. First of all he doesn't want his/her spouse to know about that.

But there might be another reason why a person is searching through a married personals site and not through any other one. A person cruising though a married personals site may be confident that only a men/woman who is married (but is not satisfied with the marriage and wants do divorce) or has been married realizes and clearly understands what marriage is, that he wont look for an adventure but for a solid relationship.

There can be another motive to. A man/woman is hunting for an adventure on the side and wants to be engaged to a married person of the kind in order to end the relation when necessary without any claims or pretensions from him because he has a family, has satisfied his desire for love affairs and for the mean time wants only his/her wife/husband.

Imagine how much more enjoyment you would get out of life if you knew why so many relationships don't last and what you could do to turn ordinary dating into romantic satisfaction. The ability to be successful in a long term relationship is what separates the guys who have exciting lives and beautiful girlfriends from the guys who wonder why they're always starting over.

The amazing thing is that with the right actions anyone can learn to be romantically successful. There is such a thing as spark love. You see the person and realize that he/she is the only one you needed, that all your previous love affairs were not an issue for concern. The spark the run between you has tied you for ever (if you do not spoil thing of course, what is very easy). Many people do not believe in spark love. They are not romantic. They are either realists or pessimists. They are too pragmatic.

Catch you love by the tail, garb it and do not let go. Many say that spark love will disappear as soon as it emerged. That it will lead to nowhere as it appeared from nowhere. Spark love is baseless Many think so. Especially, lonely old hags. Do not believe them, they are just enviable. People say that spark love is typical of teenagers who dot yet really know what love is. By the way, do adults know for sure?

Any love, spark or the one that came after a rather long relationship, should be cherished and protected. Nothing happens by itself, you should take care of a such tenuous relationship as love.

http://singles.syl.com/menwomenpersonals.html

Senior personals

Senior personals are a great way for single seniors to get back on the dating scene. Being of an older generation, it can be hard to go out and meet people. It isn't as if you can go to a bar and start hitting on men or women. The older we get, the smaller our worlds become, including our social scenes.

With senior personals, you can open your world back up and make the social scene as big as you want it to be. Online, you will be able to find long lists of personals out of which you will be able to find a few compatible choices. Contact these choices and see what happens. One of them might just turn out to be your perfect match.

Just because you are older doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life without an intimate companion. It's never too late to find true love and you could find yours on the Internet through senior personals. You'll never know unless you try, and trying is easy.

Most personals websites don't even require you to pay in order to use their services. You can look through profiles of people, free of charge. If you decide you want to meet someone, however, you might have to pay a small and reasonable fee. Whatever the cost, it is a small price to pay for finding romance once again.

Seniors don't have to live boring and isolated lives. If you are interested in meeting other people and finding companionship, you have ever right to do so. It's not hard either. There are so many senior personals and dating sites on the Internet that you will easily find a companion with whom to share your golden years.

Don't spend the rest of your life in your home watching TV. Spend it meeting people just like you who are also looking for someone to spend time with. There are tons of senior dating websites on the Internet full of people looking to find romance.

The chances of you finding another person who shares your same interests are quite high. With so many websites devoted to helping seniors find one another, you will have a fun and easy time finding your most compatible match. The best part about dating services is that they get you back onto the dating scene. While you are looking for your perfect companion, you will have a good time going out with all of the wrong ones.

Don't miss your chance at finding a really great person to spend your days with. With so many seniors looking for another chance at love, you are bound to find the one with whom you are most compatible. He or she is most likely out there, in some dating service's database, waiting for you.

Senior dating is in full swing thanks to the help of senior dating services. Which provide you with a pack of senior personals to any taste. If you think that dating is impossible for you at your age, you are mistaken. Seniors all over the world are finding one another and age hasn't been a deterrent for them.

Granted, the older a person gets, the smaller his or her world becomes. It's true that a senior can't walk into a bar and meet another single senior. What a senior can do, however, is use a dating services to publish his senior personal in order to start dating once again. It doesn't take a lot of effort to sign up with a service and the potential for finding companionship is really there.

Senior dating can be a huge possibility for you if you are willing to put in the effort necessary in order to get started. Before you know it, you will be corresponding with people and going out on dates. Imagine a nice dinner with your possible match. You could even go to the movies together. The possibilities are endless when you use a dating service.

The best part is that you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home to use a dating service and publish your senior personal. The Internet is at hand on your home computer. You can submit your application, look through the database of potential singles and even conduct all of your correspondence from your very own computer. Dating has never been so easy.

Free senior personals can be found in various sources, including newspapers, magazines, on television, in ads, or on the Internet. Most of these sources will charge you to create a personal ad. Though the Internet is the best place to find free senior personals. Using online personal websites is also very easy and convenient in comparison to the other available sources.

Websites with free senior personals allow seniors to view information about each other and to meet online. You can find seniors who have similar interests as you, live close-by, are close to the same age as you, etc. Many factors may help you to determine who may be a possible match for you. Once you have decided on a person to meet, you can contact them by e-mail or in a chat room.

Senior Personals websites are free websites and there are no subscriptions. All you have to do is to take out a few minutes of your time and register at the Senior Personals site with the necessary information about yourself. You can search for adults with similar tastes and voice out your innermost desires and fantasies. You might feel shy or tongue-tied to talk about such matters openly. However, this free site allows you to shed off your inhibitions. You can put forth and talk over certain personal matters. You are sure to receive answers for them too.

Some Senior Personals have dating services for the seniors, in other words people above fifty. There are many hundreds of them on the websites. All you have to do if you are a golden ager, is to first register with such a service. Then you may have to fill certain details about yourself, if you want you can put up your photographs, and then just sign up. As per your specifications on the questionnaire, you can expect replies from other people of your kind.

Some such sites charge a fee for their services while some offer trial runs for a month. You have the final word. You can stay or connect to other people if you want to. Otherwise, you can stop replying to their e-mails.

It is not necessary for you to only date on Senior Personals. You can chat or catch up with the latest news updates. You can just spend your time talking to people in the chat rooms. You have nothing to lose anyway.

http://singles.syl.com/seniorpersonals.html

Teen personals

Not only grownups are seeking a romantic relationship. Teenagers also have feelings, what ever adults may think of that. If you are fifteen or sixteen, it doesn’t mean that you are flighty and not capable of real love.

Dating online services are to help a teen find his match. These days life is very hectic and many teens will be very busy with their jobs and careers. They may not have enough time to find a perfect mate for themselves. This is where dating services enter the arena. All you need is a computer and an internet connection to log on to these sites and follow a few steps to meet your soul mate.

Now, with the advanced technology you just log on to any dating online services. You can find many different types of such services. Some of them are paid services while some are free. Some are for Christian singles and some are for gays while some others are for the general categories. You can select the most suitable one.

First, when logged on any of the dating services, you have to create a profile for yourself. A teen personal should not hold the boy’s/girl’s real ID and it should not either give away the person’s first name or the address. A teen personal, just as a senior personal will contain details regarding the teenager’s physical assets, education, job profile, hobbies and other interests and his/her religion. It can also have a few photographs. A teen personal differs from a personal of a grownup person only in the age of the writer. So why not mention in a teen personal what type of partner the young person would like, what are his/her preferences regarding religion, education, career, and the type. The site then matches the profiles and the youngster will soon be receiving many emails in his box.

Some dating services offer additional services like chat rooms for you to chat with your prospective partner online and messaging services. You may then choose with whom you want to continue mailing and if after some time you want to meet your partner personally, you may do so. However, a teen is not a grownup. He is not yet able to evaluate a person as sufficiently as the adult would. So before meeting he should be doubly sure about his online partner and then proceed ahead. The teen can put in a word with his friends or family as to where he is going to meet and who.

Though dating services are for true and lasting friendships and relationships, some scrupulous people are on the prowl everywhere. You will find many happy couples who found love through these services. It is a real boon to shy people.

Do you think finding the right person is impossible? Well, think again. There is a large number of internet sites that offer a free service that allows you to place free ads in the teen personals section.

In this section, you can find online teen personal ads, love or just talk to someone on a nationwide basis. You can even browse through the already listed ads in teen personals section and it is possible to find someone of your choice.

Section on ads for teen personals can be categorized under ten heads - Men Seeking Women, Women Seeking Men, Men Seeking Men, Women Seeking Women, Just Friends, Missing Connections Ad, Activity Partners, Pen Pals, Alternative Lifestyles and Other Ads.

http://singles.syl.com/teenpersonals.html

FINDING REAL LOVE

Is finding true love a random coincidence or a meeting with destiny? Whatever you believe, Margot Chavellier has found a way to decrease the odds on randomness and move destiny rapidly along. While hundreds have flocked to the Internet over the past ten years in search of finding that certain someone who sets their heart on fire, Margot has revived the age-old skill of matchmaking - with a cutting-edge twist.

Finding Love is an art, but Matchmaking is a science," says Margot, founder of THE ONE, the nation's premiere personal technology, match making service. While working in the dating and matchmaking industry for various companies for over a ten year period, Margot witnessed owners taking fees for services they had no real capabilities of performing, or intent on fulfilling. Appalled by the lack of integrity she found at many firms, and wanting to increase her friends and clients' chances of finding real love, Margot decided to create her own company and raise the bar high on what a matchmaking firm should provide for its clientele.

She began by hiring a Ph.D. in the field of relationship counseling, who she worked with to create a battery of tests and tools, including a complex Personal & Relationship Profile, Match program, and a Persona Analysis Test, which precisely distills personality factors, likes and dislikes, needs and wants, values and interests, among other relationship components. The results of the tests would then be mathematically analyzed to match degrees of compatibility between individuals. A profiling program also offered a match discovery system with a wide range of criteria to sort by.

Margot's next employed the skills of a NASA Database Engineer (yes, a rocket scientist!) to create a state-of-the-art database that not only holds the complex profiles for her clientele, but which also has the capacity to match people within 3 notches of their perfect range of compatibility. The Database is able to also narrow the range of selection based on the client's individual criteria as established through the use of the Analysis Test.

Her clientele, which is composed of executives, doctors, athletes, performers, politicians, and others who have distinguished themselves in their respective professions, can also choose to receive the expertise of a team of marketing, advertising and public relations specialists who will create targeted local or national personal ad campaigns on their behalf. The ads are placed in exclusive publications that match the client's demographic.

For busy professionals who don't have the desire to be occasionally introduced to someone who is matching them based on instincts or through the use of a small existing client base, or for those who can't imagine wading through responses to impersonal internet dating sites, then sitting at a table with the wrong one or many wrong ones for a wasted lunch hour, Margot has created THE ONE. Her clients are purposeful, proactive and particular about most everything; so she has developed a sound and pragmatic means of searching, finding and narrowing down the selections using advanced technology as a tool. From there, each person is hand-selected, and Margot will bring her clients only those outstanding introductions who match their personal criteria with true compatibility to boot.

As part of setting a higher standard within the match making industry as a whole, personalized service is a non-negotiable priority for Margot. Unlike other services, where clients are parceled out to associates who, in many instances, have never even met the individuals they are representing or matching, only Margot represents each of her clients exclusively. This modern day matchmaker is the only one who interviews her clients, employs the use of advanced data sorting, personality analysis and selects those individuals who she believes are in her clients' best interest.

Additional spicy features at The One Match include what Margot calls, "Inner Alchemy" and "Outer Alchemy." With "Inner Alchemy", you engage in an inner science that has been used by kings, queens, pharaohs, presidents, business moguls, and the rich and famous. Yes Astrology!, an astrological chart can help clients discover compatibility based on their sign, as well as how to best create a loving and sincere partnership while journeying toward a more positive future. Clients who partake in "Inner Alchemy" receive a traditional astrological chart, as well as their Chinese astrological profile, both based on the facets of relationships. This service is performed by a highly acclaimed, expert astrologer.

While "Inner Alchemy" explores one's innermost terrain, "Outer Alchemy," provides individuals with access to a team of talented artists who offer expertise in the outer areas of esthetics and beauty. We offer our clients wardrobe, hair, make-up, and dermal and esthetic enhancement, as well as the master photographer to capture their new look. "Outer Alchemy" is designed to help clients stay in style and look their best, without the painstaking need of having to look through magazines to figure out the latest trends and treatment by themselves. Again, these are usually sought after by high profile individuals and the rich and famous.

By providing exclusive search services in conjunction with the finest scientific equipment and precision assessment tools available on the market today, The One offers an accelerated approach to finding true love. "Don't let your ultimate relationship be orchestrated by random, disorganized, old fashioned chance," says Margot "When it comes to love, The One can quickly and honestly move you toward your desired destiny."


http://www.theonematch.com/press.htm

The ‘Modern' man

It was a simple exercise. Students in Juilliard's playwriting program were asked to go around the room and say what one topic they found fascinating but thought other people - like, say, a theater audience - would find boring.
When it was Daniel Goldfarb's turn, he immediately knew his answer: Orthodox Judaism.

As Goldfarb went on to regale his class with funny anecdotes about Orthodox Jewish friends, acquaintances, and friends of friends, he soon realized he wasn't the only one who found the subject fascinating after all. It sparked Goldfarb to write the comedy “Modern Orthodox.” The play, which has received great acclaim off-Broadway, will be presented by the Jewish Community Center's Art & Culture program Oct. 21-Nov. 5.

“Modern Orthodox” started off “being a play about the differences between secular and religious Jews. The humor was blacker,” says Goldfarb, speaking to the CJN from his home in New York City. “But I fell in love with (Orthodox lead character) Herschel while writing it. I could write six plays about him. The play became about commitment and faith. It became more hopeful.”

The playwright, now 33, wrote the first draft of “Modern Orthodox” in 1999. It tells of Ben, a “High Holiday Jew,” who encounters Orthodox diamond dealer Herschel while shopping for an engagement ring. Ben takes an immediate dislike to the tightly wound, blunt, and very religious Herschel; he says he will not buy the diamond unless Herschel removes his yarmulke.

After complying with Ben's demand, Herschel suffers a series of tragic occurrences, including the ending of his own engagement. Herschel shows up on the doorstep of the apartment Ben shares with his girlfriend, the jaded Jewish doctor Hannah, and insists the pair help him find a new bride. He wants them to right the wrong Ben forced upon him.

As Herschel is confronted with Ben and Hannah's modern and more permissive lifestyle, the couple find themselves challenged, at times infuriated, and often moved by Herschel's unshakable faith and adherence to ritual.

Goldfarb acknowledges he's much more of a Ben than a Herschel, yet he flatly rejects the term “secular.”

“I'm really committed to exploring my Jewish identity,” he says, noting that almost all of his other plays have Jewish themes. “I don't go to shul regularly, but I'm not blas' about my Jewishness.”

Goldfarb did very little research to write his play; he simply collected stories from Jewish friends. He did, however, spend quite a bit of time surfing dating websites. At the time Goldfarb first started writing “Modern Orthodox,” JDate and other Jewish matchmaking websites were new fads. “I filled out a profile on JDate as if I were Herschel,” he reveals.

Once interested women started responding, he felt guilty and took “Herschel's” profile down. But, his experience answering Jewish dating questionnaires led to his writing a popular scene in which Ben and Hannah go online to find Herschel a Jewish match.

Goldfarb's parents first took him to see Broadway shows in New York City at age 6. The Toronto native was instantly hooked on the theater and started writing his own short stories “with lots of dialogue.”

He had three one-act plays produced while attending the School of the Arts in Toronto as a drama major, and he knew that playwriting was his calling. He moved to New York at age 19 and attended New York University (NYU) and Juilliard.

After an initial reading at Juilliard, Goldfarb developed “Modern Orthodox” through a series of staged readings, from “just friends of mine doing it” to “fancy” readings featuring stars like Sarah Jessica Parker and Paul Rudd.

The play received its first full performance at the Long Wharf Theatre in New Haven, Conn., in 2000. Then “it took a holiday for three years,” Goldfarb says with a laugh. After several re-writes, including an attempt to adapt it from a play to a movie, “Modern Orthodox” found new life in New York. The play attracted the attention of “American Pie” movie star Jason Biggs and Broadway directing legend James Lapine. It premièred off-Broadway in 2004.

Directed by Lapine, the play starred Biggs as Herschel and '80s film icon Molly Ringwald as Hannah.

“Lightning struck twice,” says Goldfarb. While “Modern Orthodox,” a comedy, was playing on a for-profit stage, another play of his, the naturalistic drama “Sarah, Sarah,” was running in a nonprofit theater. “I felt like I was finally a member of that community I wanted to be a part of my whole life: New York playwrights.”

The success of “Modern Orthodox” landed Goldfarb his next job, co-writing the book of the hit musical “Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me” alongside beloved comedian Martin Short. He's also collaborating on two more musicals and writing (solo) a new original drama, all while teaching play and screenwriting at NYU.

His other new project? Fatherhood. Goldfarb and wife Marianna are expecting their first child in March.

The playwright marvels that his journey has paralleled that of his play's characters. “I wrote ‘Modern Orthodox' single. Then this amazing thing happened - I got engaged right when they decided to produce it. I was in the same place Ben is at the beginning of the play. Three weeks after it opened, I was married. Now, I'm in the same place Ben's in at the end.”


http://www.theonematch.com/press.htm

Matchmaking personals

At last your profile is on the internet. That's great. But along with this news comes another one. It might not be as great. In order to respond to someone who wrote back to you, you have to subscribe to the service. This is where the money issue comes into play. The average monthly fee for a web-personals service is $24.95. Calm down. Just make some calculations before scoffing at the price.

Suppose you go out once a week. Where shall you go? Most likely, go to some club. So, make some calculations then. A month entry fee will be 30 to 40 dollars. Another $32 will go on drinks and tips. You have ended up with some 60 to 70 dollars per month. Why not spend that money on dating with someone from the web personals? At least in this case you know who you are meeting with and what to expect from that person.

Dating is of course an enjoyable experience. But it is preceded by some search work. You can make you search specific or general. Just keep in mind that the more specific you make your search, the fewer profiles will appear on your desktop when the search is complete. It can even be said that you are the creator of the man/woman you are going to meet. Why? Because you choose all the options, starting with the appearance (height, weight, body type, color of eyes and hair, etc.) and ending with the persons life stile. It is also recommended to scroll through the profiles that are recently updated (take an extra look at when the photo was last updated).

You can search for profiles within several miles of your postcode, you can search by country, city and state as well. You can even choose more than one state but then you can't pick specific cities in those states.

There is one thing that can help you save time. Go through the profiles that have a photo. That removes a lot of guesswork and speeds up the process of meeting someone. You can, of course, request a picture, but it is ten to one that you will be asked to wait a bit. If you ask for the photo too often (in your interlocutor's opinion) you might be labeled a bore. When a picture is included you can see to whom it is you are writing and feel much more comfortable about it.

But! Caution! You might walk into a trap. There is such a category of pictures that is called "glamour shots". These pictures aren't ordinary pictures. People are dressed up, wear their makeup and evening gowns and some special-occasion jewelry (only women of course). These pictures are heavily airbrushed. A flawless picture should alarm you. No matter how pretty or handsome a person is, she/he can't be super-perfect. That is the word for "glamour shots" – super-perfect. It goes without saying you will be greatly impressed by the person in the picture. But think that over. Will a person go out that equipped (we are not speaking of the so called cream of the society). What you may see during the first date might leave you in clear disappointment. Be careful not to step into that "mine".

Do not rush to e-mail people without having a closer look at their profile. The picture, username and headline are only a starting point. Read the profile thoughtfully. Answer in such a way so that the recipient sees that you really read his/her profile thoroughly and not just provided a pre-fabricated response. Are you a good match for that person? Does he/she fit your expectations of an ideal (or a least good) match? The person might be seeking for someone with certain qualities and traits, that is, someone of certain height, religion, ethnicity, or have some preferences regarding children. Be sure you both fit the match. You do not want to waist time on something tat would most likely not work. If someone sounds interesting and you qualify – good luck!

Yes, one more thing! It may so happen that you did not get a response to you e-mail. If you do not hear back within a week, you could send a follow-up letter. If that is not answered either, you may conclude that the person is not interested Do not bombard the person with e-mails. It will not make you more appealing. And worse, you will get a response, but not the one you have been awaiting. In fact, it may just consist of three words.

http://singles.syl.com/matchmakingpersonals.html

Searching personal profiles

Without joining the list of subscribers you can't communicate with other members of the service. The average monthly fee for a web-personals service is about thirty dollars. That is not that much, believe. Imagine that instead of joining the web-personals society you go out every weekend. You will likely be hanging about in a club. Naturally you won't just stand by the wall. You will go to the bar and have a drink. Don't forget about a dollar tip for the barmen or waiter. That will amount to approximately $35 per month, plus $30 to $40 entrance fee a month. How much do we have? Right, we are up to $60-$70 per month. Don't you think it's twice the monthly fee for a web-personals service.

Here comes the main thing. Are you sure that you will meet your match in the club? If yes, then when? Again, if yes, will it be really YOUR match? Light There is a slight difference between meeting someone in a club and on the personals site. In the club you meet a pig in a poke. On the internet site you meet the one you have chosen yourself, that is, coming out for a date you definitely know whom you will meet. Furthermore, you are going to meet a person with whom you have been communicating for some time, that means, you know certain things about him.

Ok, then. You have taken a decision not to wait until an answer come, you decided to scroll through the options yourself. You have all the freedom of the wind. Choose to your heart's content. You want a certain body type? You are welcome. You like only the blond, blue-eyed Scandinavian type? Check as many boxes as you wish. Suppose, you do not want do date in your district, choose someone from the other end of the city. Are you fed up with you state? Go ahead! You are not tied hand and foot.

Some people have to travel a lot. They may stay in places far away from home for quite a while. After work it would be good to hang out with somebody. But how to find someone in a strange city? Arrange everything beforehand. Perform a search for ads posted by people in the city you will travel to and explain your situation. If your trips to a certain city are frequent you will provide yourself with a new pile of friends.

There is one thing that you should take into consideration when you are hunting for profiles. Pay attention only to updated profiles with photos. If a profile is not updated it means that the person who posted it isn't anymore interested in it, or his/her interest is rather flabby. The same concerns photos. And be careful about so called "glamour shots". These are pictures that show a person in his/her best bib and tucker. There might be nothing wrong about it (why not show the best of yourself?).

But there might be something wrong about it. You are going to date a person. Can you afford always being in full dress? Most likely, not. And you do not want do disappoint the person with you everyday outfit. So you prefer to show up on the photo in your ordinary appearance. This way the person who decided on your profile will get what he/she searched for and he/she will have no questions like "Is he/she hiding any flaws?"

http://singles.syl.com/searchingpersonalprofiles.html

Tips to choose a match

You like the picture (have a look at the larger version of the photo, it's amazing how a person's appearance can change when you get a big picture). You are attracted with the username and the headline. But that's not all.

Read the profile, then put the it aside for some time. When you return to it again ask yourself: "Is this really what I want?" If you are not certain, think for a day or two. Carefully review the section of the profile in which the person uses his/her own words do describe him/herself.

It's better not to hurry up the events than be wise after the event.

Ok, after weighing everything up you are definite that this is the right person. "Hurrah, I'm going for a date", - that's your natural reaction. But there is another thing, not of a secondary importance, to take into account. The person fits you, but do you fit him?

Another written section is the one in which the person's ideal match is described. Be sure you are what he/she is seeking before you respond. The person could be seeking someone of a certain height, weight, figure, eye/hair color, religion and preferences. You should fit that criteria, otherwise there is no sense in responding. It's unlikely the person will quickly change his/her mind and date someone different. Though, if the difference is just in some minor details, you may try to contact. Be charming, maybe you will succeed, who knows?

http://singles.syl.com/tipstochooseamatch.html

Guide to respond personals ads

You can help ease any nervousness the same way you would ease nervousness about a presentation you'd give at work; know your material. And you already know the subject pretty well, since it's none other than you, right? Plus, the person on the other side of the screen is in the same boat, taking a chance on meeting somebody new, and he/she is about to get to meet the wonderful you, so the chances are pretty good that you might be about to meet somebody with lots of great qualities, too.

Keep things light, enjoy some pleasant banter, and just assume that everybody is hoping to make friends initially. If something more develops, that's just a bonus. If you look at it that way, you won't feel pressured or make anyone else feel pressured, either, and you'll both enjoy getting to know each other. Keep up with the current events. But don't get political, at least at first, have a non-offensive joke or two to share, and be willing to share some topical information about your interests, just as you would if you had met in a group of friends. Before you know it, you'll both know if you want to pursue something more, and you'll have gotten over your first-time personal ad jitters without even noticing.

The initial response to someone's ad should be a brief one. You do not have do speak of yourself a lot because a link to your profile automatically appears at the bottom of your response when you reply to someone via e-mal on the web-personals.

Your response should be a response to a certain ad, i.e. you should respond to things that were mentioned in it. If you just copy a pre-fabricated text into the body of your letter, your online correspondent will at once feature that out. For instance, someone mentioned in his/her profile that he/she likes rock music. The person would be pleased to hear some word on the theme from you. Remember, those words should not be a formal reply, it would be clear that you didn't bother to read the letter carefully. It is more honest to write that you are not interested in the subject, that to act as if you are.

When your recipient reads the answer he/she will either agree or disagree with you point of view. In either case he/she will most likely respond and thus bring the situation to a more personal level.

In the very first e-mail you could also ask some questions. For example, your addressee said he/she lived cats. You better ask the person to be more exact about that. What does “love” mean? He/she may love animals in particular and have one cat. But what if the house is inhabited by ten cats, several birds, two dogs and some exotic animal (an iguana will not be the worse, presupposing that it is a small specimen of the group). That would be ok, if you are not allergic to fur. And what if you are? And find this out only when you visit your sweetheart? With this in mind inquire about what exactly does “love” mean with regard to anything.

The online dating game is the online waiting game. You may receive an answer not earlier than in a week. Do not worry and do not pester your recipient with letter. If the person is interested he/she will respond, if not – that isn't your match and there is no reason to be angry or crazy about it. What will certainly not make you more appealing is sending 100 more e-mails. After that number of unreciprocated letters you may get an answer you least of all awaited.

http://singles.syl.com/guidetorespondpersonalsads.html

Mechanism of the gBP21-mediated RNA/RNA annealing reaction: matchmaking and charge reduction

Department of Microbiology and Genetics, Darmstadt University of Technology, Schnittspahnstraße 10, 64287 Darmstadt, Germany

The guide RNA-binding protein gBP21 has been characterized as a mitochondrial RNA/RNA annealing factor. The protein co-immunoprecipitates with RNA editing ribonucleoprotein complexes, which suggests that gBP21 contributes its annealing activity to the RNA editing machinery. In support of this view, gBP21 was found to accelerate the hybridization of cognate guide (g)RNA/pre-edited mRNA pairs. Here we analyze the mechanism of the gBP21-mediated RNA annealing reaction. Three possible modes of action are considered: chaperone function, matchmaker function and product stabilization. We conclude that gBP21 works as a matchmaker by binding to gRNAs as one of the two RNA annealing reactants. Three lines of evidence substantiate this model. First, gBP21 and gRNAs form a thermodynamically and kinetically stable complex in a 1 + 1 stoichiometry. Secondly, gRNA-bound gBP21 stabilizes single-stranded RNA, which can be considered the transition state in the annealing reaction. Thirdly, gBP21 has a low affinity for double-stranded RNAs, suggesting the release of the annealed reaction product after the hybridization step. In the process, up to six ionic bonds are formed between gBP21 and a gRNA, which decreases the net negative charge of the RNA. As a consequence, the electrostatic repulsion between the two annealing reactants is reduced favoring the hybridization reaction.


http://nar.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/30/2/447

Online Dating: The Science of Matchmaking

Once you’ve filled out a profile, online dating sites will provide a list of matches -- people they think you are compatible with. How do they decide who matches up with who?

What makes someone a "97% match"?

Sometimes, the process is very simple. Each profile has a list of attributes or interests that members check off. The more matching attributes that two profiles have, the higher “match percentage” the site will assign to it. Some sites, like match.com, allow users to specify how important each attribute is. Each matching attribute is assigned a different weight depending on how important it is to the user. For example, if you prefer blondes, but really have nothing against brunettes and redheads, then you can rank that attribute as very low. If it’s very important to you that your date has a college degree, you can rank that very high. Then the site will match you with highly educated brunette sooner than a blonde who didn't finish high school.

Some sites use very complex personality surveys and mathematical algorithms to match partners. Online matchmaking site eharmony.com uses “29 key dimensions that help predict compatibility and the potential for relationship success.” Their system was developed by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, who studied thousands of marriages to develop his “predictive model of compatibility.”

Do such scientific methods work? Obviously, the dating sites claim they do. However, scientific personality tests completed with the guidance of a trained researcher do not have 100 percent accuracy (it’s closer to 75 percent). And when you’re sitting alone in your living room filling out a personality profile on a Web site, there is an even greater chance that the resulting matches will not be perfect. When you multiply the chance for inaccuracy by the number of users on a given dating site, complicated matching systems are probably not working much better than basic attribute-and-interest matching.

Fortunately, the main advantage of online dating is that it gives each user control over who they contact and with whom they subsequently communicate. It might take more work than relying on the site's matching system, but browsing through profiles yourself may ultimately be the best way to find the right person.

Specific facts and figures for online dating are hard to come by. For obvious reasons, each individual site tends to inflate membership numbers and success rates in its promotional materials. There are close to 100 million single adults in the United States alone. Of those, 40 million use online dating services [ref]. FriendFinder.com claims over 11 million members. Eharmony.com claims responsibility for more than 9,000 marriages.

On the other hand, there are those who think the online dating industry may have reached its saturation point. According to an article in the Christian Science Monitor, consumer spending on these sites declined slightly in the fourth quarter of 2004, indicating that growth for online dating sites may be stagnant.

While some of the numbers may be fuzzy, one thing is certain –- the use of online dating services continues in huge numbers. According to Online Media Daily, consumer spending on personals and dating sites rose by 8 percent in the first half of 2005, topping $245 million.

For more information on online dating and related topics, check out the links on the next page.

http://people.howstuffworks.com/online-dating4.htm

Behavioral Matchmaking, Part 3: GPS and Behavioral Targeting

In "Minority Report," Tom Cruise's character walks into a Gap store. The retailer, using a "futuristic" technology, identifies him and intelligently presents customized offers to him as he comes into the store. I remember this scene vividly because of what it represents for the future of advertising and marketing.

Is this advertising possible in the real world? Perhaps, if you mix the global positioning system (GPS) with behavioral targeting.

If you're not familiar with GPS, you should be. This technology may ultimately reshape the advertising landscape (and many other communication-based industries) as it nurtures the platform which could, when behavioral targeting is applied, allow true ubiquitous and relevant messaging to be delivered to consumers.

GPS is not just a technology used by governmental military operations or consumer direction-assistant devices found at local electronic stores. It can potentially broaden the definition and application of behavioral targeting and revolutionize the concept of marketing as a whole.

How, you ask? Say "hello" to GPS, the ultimate behavioral targeting platform. And if you're just tuning in to the series, check out parts one and two.

Marginal Prophecy or Near-Future Reality?

Consumers' multitasking behavior isn't news to those of us in the interactive marketing industry. Hundreds of research pieces validate the increasing percentage of consumers who watch TV, surf the Internet, glance at the newspapers, IM their friends, and talk on their mobile phones -- all at the same time.

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating, but you get my point. Technological advancements in the communication industries have quantum-leaped us into an age of unparalleled media consumption and a state of "MADDness" (media attention deficit disorder).

Despite all these behavioral changes and chaotic multitasking movements, one fact remains true: All our activities still take place at a physical location, regardless of the virtual potentials "The Matrix" demonstrates. No matter how many transactions we do online, we still go to the supermarket to buy groceries, go to stores to check out the sales, and go to the movies and restaurants with friends. We still travel from point A to point B. Online is simply another dimension of life experience.

A few mobile carriers in the U.S. have already launched location-based advertising using actual signal locations of subscribers' handsets, but currently there's no actual linkage between offline locations and online behaviors. Behavioral targeting promises the effective delivery of offers based on the audience online. Why not combine it with the GPS system offline to create the ultimate audience-based advertising opportunity?

An Audience-Centric View

Although today's advertising techniques have redefined the way marketers communicate with consumers, we could do better. There's no need to limit your advertising by media silos or by individual placements. One of behavioral targeting's main strengths is it takes away the fixation of content-based relevance in online advertising and focuses on a target-based platform.

Content-based advertising further continues marketers' traditional obsession with editorial adjacency (equated to premium cost due to higher perceived relevance). Audience-based advertising, however, focuses on advertising delivery according to the target's location and movement. In other words, really understanding the audience in every possible way.

Understanding the audience is key to marketing success. Kmart is considering launching a credit card to its customers to ultimately build a customer database. It hasn't been able to build this database so far because many shoppers pay in cash. Many other retailers (e.g., supermarkets) already have this type of tracking in place to monitor what items consumers buy and purchase frequency to understand their customers.

We've already seen mobile-based advertising emerge. But what if we can marry consumers' offline and online activities? Using the satellite tracking systems, combined with online behavior data, marketers could provide the currently missing link between online and off- and gain a holistic understanding of who their customers really are.

What Does It Mean for Online Media?

GPS represents much more than just a literal technology gimmick; it symbolically represents a tectonic shift in how we view and conduct advertising and marketing.

Like behavioral targeting, GPS is target- rather than place-based. Messaging delivery is based on target consumers (their whereabouts, behaviors, and patterns of media consumption). As Bill Gossman, CEO of Revenue Science, eloquently said in his recent article, "The limitation of a quality place-based inventory makes it nearly impossible to achieve broad, high-quality reach." The collaborative use of behavioral targeting and GPS will significantly affect marketers and their continuous effort to improve dialogue with consumers.

We're on the verge of a media revolution, with both behavioral targeting and GPS adoption. As more mobile phones become WAP (define) and GPS enabled (as seen in Asia and Europe), advertising will reach the new height most marketers have been dreaming of.

http://www.clickz.com/showPage.html?page=3439151

Cyber Relationships: The Risks and Rewards of Online Dating

Millions of people are "e-dating" in the hopes of finding that perfect someone. Online dating services such as Match.com Match.com and love@aol.com are thriving as men and women post ads and photos of themselves in search of the perfect mate.

Indeed, most relationship counselors, including The Rules Girls, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, agree that logging on can be a great way to meet your match.

The Advantages of Online Dating
Dr. Ellen Kriedman (also known as Dr. Ellen) says online dating is an advantage for people who are uncomfortable about meeting people in public places, or who are new to an area. Online dating services also can be a good option if you frequently travel for work or have children or other responsibilities that make going out to meet people difficult.

What's more, you're not confined to the area where you live. You can search the world, since you have international access via the Internet.

And you can meet people without fear of commitment. Online dating services provide chat rooms that allow you to get to know someone before you exchange photos or phone numbers.

In addition, most sites allow the user to place a photo along with a personal ad, and some even have audio capability so you can listen to your potential soul mate's voice. While this may sound a bit superficial at first, Internet dating actually takes the whole "meat market" aspect out of the dating process because it allows you to weed out the players.

Choosing an Online-Dating Service
With so many online dating services out there, picking one can be difficult. Dr. Ellen advises people to do their homework. Shop around until you find one that best suits your particular needs. Narrow your search by looking at services that specialize in matching people with similar interests. For example, you might consider a dating service for people who share the same religious faith, like BigChurch.com, ChristianCafe.com or JDate.com; if you're a sports enthusiast, you might check out fitness-singles.com. The list goes on …

While e-dating is a dream come true for some, The Rules Girls warn that an e-courtship has more dating hazards than ever — and they're not what you think! Whether you meet online, at work, or in a bar, email has become an integral part of most relationships, so you need to be prepared to handle a cyber relationship.

The Pitfalls of Email Courtship
Fein and Schneider say email is just like a phone call if it leads to a date. But there are pitfalls unique to the medium. For one thing, it's very easy to be seduced by the informality of email or instant messaging.

Remember the scene in Bridget Jones' Diary when Bridget (Rene Zellweger) gets lured into sexually charged email banter initiated by her boss (Hugh Grant)? Conducting e-relationships can be tricky because, as Bridget found out, email often allows people to become too casual too fast. Fein and Schneider advise that "less is more" when writing a personal ad, email or instant message. Too many intense feelings can scare men and women away.

And online dating can make it more difficult to weed out the "undesirables." Fein and Schneider counsel many women who become involved in "fantasy relationships" that never materialize. Fantasy men typically chat up a storm and never ask the woman out.

Finally, don't believe everything you read. Most online dating services ask participants to fill out long questionnaires about themselves. Women usually put a lot of thought into these, but men don't. A man may indicate that his favorite movie is When Harry Met Sally and he loves romantic walks on the beach. This will certainly attract women. But, in reality, most men would choose to watch basketball on TV over the beach walk, and Dirty Harry is a more likely contender in the "Favorite Movie" category.

Make Sure to Delete Mr. Wrong
"Little white lies" on someone's profile may be harmless, but there are some creeps trolling the online dating services. If you're going to cyber date, here are some screening tips to help you delete Mr. Wrong:

* Ask a man for a photo. If he doesn't send one, or keeps making up excuses, there's something wrong. Of course, if he has too many photos with his ad, that can be equally problematic.
* Ignore men who write form letters or send only a "wink" or a "rose," or who write something like "you're sexy."
* Don't answer email from men with "player" names, such as "MeTarzan."

Sherrie and Ellen also advise women not to "have sex" online. The Rules girls say, "Delete/Next" to these men.

A Word About Online Dating Safety
If you meet someone online, take it slowly. You may think that you know the person because you have been corresponding via email, but remember to use common sense.

* Guard your anonymity. Most online dating services use a "double blind" system that protects your identity. Be sure not to include your last name, address, place of work, phone number or any other identifying information when corresponding online.
* Request a photo. Appearance can help you determine whether the person is someone you want to correspond with. If the person doesn't send a photo and makes excuses, stop corresponding with him.
* Speak on the phone. While the Rules Girls advise women not to push the "relationship" from email to phone (let the man call you!), a phone call can reveal much about a person's social skills. If you decide to speak with someone on the phone, give your cell phone number or ask the person for his number. Also use telephone-blocking techniques so he can't get your number through caller ID.
* Meet in a public place. If you decide to meet, choose a safe place, such as a restaurant during a busy time. Tell a friend where you're going and what time you plan to return. Give your friend the person's name and phone number. Never arrange for someone to pick you up at your home or office. Take your own transportation. When the date is over, do not allow the person to follow you.
* Watch for warning signs. If a person displays anger, tries to pressure you, gives inconsistent information about himself (even age!), refuses to speak to you on the phone after you've established an email correspondence, something isn't right. Move on.
* Protect yourself. If you feel uncertain about someone, get offline. If you're in a public place with a person, excuse yourself and call a friend from the ladies room and ask that person to come and meet you. If you feel unsafe, call the police. Don't be embarrassed. Be safe.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/cyberdating.html

Dating After 40: What's New?

For years I wondered if there was some new way to go about dating; some secret approach that no one had discovered yet. But alas, the older I get, the less I'm inclined to believe in such secrets.

One thing I've learned, however, is that the dating "basics" are still the same as when women were "foxy," and men were "fine" (and if you're unfamiliar with those terms, you're definitely not over 40. But stick around, you might learn something anyway.)

When it comes to dating, the three principles are: 1) relax, 2) pay attention and 3) be yourself.

In my opinion, most people set the bar far too high when it comes to dating. C'mon, it's not that serious. It's supposed to be FUN!

So, here are some tips for those of you who are just getting out of a marriage and haven't got a clue (or for those of you who are over 40, single and have never had a clue):

* Relax
I can't over-emphasize this enough. Take a tip from the "younger" set and "just chill." Don't look at your date as the answer to all of your problems — your ills, shortcomings, things you didn't get as a child, things you did get and want to keep getting, or any other entitlements on your list. Rather, enjoy your date's company and look at the experience as a chance to make a new friend, or to be enlightened on a subject you knew little about before the date. Because at this stage of the game it means nothing, and therefore nothing should be read into the experience. Period.

* Pay Attention…
…From the first date to whatever transpires over the next few months. Remember, even though you're still "chilling," if you've gotten past the first few dates, it's time to show the other person you are sincere about getting to know them. Let's stop right here and think about that phrase (go back and say it out loud if you need to)…OK, now ask yourself, did you really get to know the person during those first few dates, or were you concentrating on your needs again and what you want and expect? This is where many of us get into trouble — especially women.

Avoid tunnel-vision: 1) how much money he makes, 2) what kind of car he drives, 3) how he dresses, and keep an open mind about his potential as a mate (if that's what you're looking for) based on what you've learned about him already.

This openness can spare you from wasting time in dead-end relationships, because you'll find out all you need to know about the person simply by listening to him and observing his actions.

I've heard so many horror stories from women and men who didn't pay attention and missed those all-important clues that told them it was time to move on. And believe me, you know what those clues are — that funny feeling in your gut that tells you something isn't quite right.

* Be Yourself
I know you've heard this before, but if you still find yourself acting weird on a date, then you've not been heeding this warning. Keep in mind that the other person is nervous too; it's natural. Meeting a complete stranger (or if a friend introduced you, a once-removed-complete-stranger) can make anyone uncomfortable. By being relaxed and acting natural, you can help your date do the same.

Dating Pet Peeves
Now that we've got the principles of dating down, let me share my pet peeves.

* Dating Pet Peeve No. 1: The guy who has to tell me all his personal business in the first five minutes upon meeting him. This signals that he's impatient and wants to cut to whatever chase he has in mind. Usually, this man is scared to death of growing old alone and doesn't want to waste time.

What to do? Avoid this type like the plague and remember this: your 40-plus age doesn't negate the need to take your time.

* Dating Pet Peeve No. 2: When a guy tries to impress me with all the things he says he owns. I emphasize "says" because how do I know he's telling the truth? I haven't seen his things have I? No. And besides, when you're over 40, you probably already have things and you're likely now looking for "substance."

Frankly, my best advice is to take it all with a grain of salt, be nice and when the date ends, rely on your gut to tell you your next move.

To be blunt, dating is a way to search the marketplace for someone who's compatible with your values, likes and dislikes. Things like who pays for dinner, whether you meet him at the restaurant or get picked up, or who calls whom first, is basically kids' stuff.

Bottom line: Do what you feel comfortable with and don't let convention (or your friends) rule. If it feels right it probably is, and if it doesn't feel right, follow your intuition, which at 40-plus should be nothing new.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/overforty.html

Office Romance: When Does It Make Sense to Mix Business With Pleasure?

Maybe you're not the type to pursue online dating, but have you considered office romance? Romance at work can be tricky, and maybe you've looked at office romance advice before. You may want to give office romance another try — four out of every 10 people meet their spouse at the office through office romance.

A study by Vault.com shows that almost half of us have been romantically tied to someone at work and that workplace relationships often can be successful; roughly one-quarter result in long-term relationships and even marriage.

Dennis Powers, author of The Office Romance: Playing With Fire and Not Getting Burned (AMACOM, 1998), says it's time that businesses acknowledge that office romances are acceptable and normal. He predicts that many businesses will lighten up and establish guidelines that allow employees to manage workplace dalliances.

Yet, when it comes to office romance, most experts, particularly human resources managers and employment lawyers, believe that romantic liaisons in the workplace can be a lose-lose situation if you're not careful.

According to a poll conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management, 58 percent of executives view office romances as unprofessional; 38 percent believe they end in disaster; and many more believe that they wreak havoc on morale. And, let's not forget that office affairs have the potential to lead to sexual harassment lawsuits.

So, if you're going to mix business with pleasure, heed some advise from the experts.

Maintaining the Balance
Joni Johnston, Ph.D., CEO of WorkRelationships.com, says you need to be on your best behavior when you're involved with someone at work. Keep your relationship as professional as possible during the day. That means no public displays of affection. Nothing makes people more uncomfortable than seeing co-workers smooching.

If you find it difficult to keep your hands off your office amour, just remember how hard you've worked at your career. You don't want to jeopardize it. The time spent flirting or sending e-mail back and forth can affect your job. The Society for Human Resource Management advises employees to remain focused at work.

The Rules Girls, Sherrie Schneider and Ellen Fein, authors of The Rules For Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace (Pocket Books. 2002), advise women to respond to only one out of every four non-business e-mails while in the office. You never know who may have access to your e-mail.

Don't Date the Boss
Not all office romances are created equal. According to Lisa Mainiero, author of Office Romance: Love, Power and Sex in the Workplace (Rawson Associates, 1989), the best office-dating scenario is when peers from different departments date. Her research shows that co-workers generally accept peer relationships within their departments. However, she adds that it's important to remember that, down the road, the two of you may be competing for promotions and raises. You also may have to worry about the boss's approval.

Fifty-five percent of employers and employees polled by Vault.com think it's unacceptable for a manager to date a subordinate. Even if a boss-subordinate relationship is not forbidden, think of the ramifications:

* Your colleagues may turn on you. There's always a double standard at play. You may be a competent worker, but as soon as you start dating the boss, the perception will be that your relationship is fueling your career. This is especially true if you're receiving promotions or given a corner office or other perks that may appear to be the result of favoritism.
* You could jeopardize your career. If you dump your boss, think how your career could be affected. Your boss could find endless ways to make your workday miserable, or even jeopardize your success in the company.

If you're still unsure about the "Don't date your boss" rule, Advice Sister Alison Blackman Dunham, co-author of Recruiting Love: Using Business Skills You Have to Find the Love You Want (Cyclone Books, 1998), says you need to determine if you'd be willing to leave your job if the situation became too uncomfortable after a breakup. On the other hand, says Lisa Mainiero, if you can't live without each other, get your reporting structure changed.

Five Ways to Mix Work and Romance

1. Date someone you already have a relationship with. Johnston says that you'll have some form of trust if you have a working relationship before you date. If you must date the cute guy in another department, take things slow until you determine whether you both have the emotional maturity to handle a workplace relationship.

2. Be honest. Powers says that when dating at work you need to have similar expectations about where the relationship is going and communicate them to one another from the start. If one party is looking at having a long-term relationship, and the other one is looking for a fling, that relationship will have problems.

3. Set boundaries. If you become involved with someone at work, discuss how you'll handle office situations. Will you tell anyone? Will you discuss personal matters at work or work matters on a date? It may seem unromantic, but it'll help keep your professional life and love life on track.

4. Maintain relationships outside of work. Enjoy activities away from the office. If your job goes sour or your relationship falls through, you'll be glad to have other support mechanisms and sources of satisfaction in your life.

5. Break up gently. Let's face it, most dating relationships end. Discuss how you will handle a breakup from the beginning, advises Powers. Show some consideration. It's easier if you're the one who initiates the breakup. And, if you're going to break up, do it on Friday, don't wait until Monday.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/office_02.html

Dating in the New Millennium

Since the dawn of the New Millennium, many people feel that dating rules have changed — so much so that people are constantly looking for dating tips and advice to know how to date in the New Millennium. With today's dating styles as varied and eclectic as Elton John's wardrobe, it's difficult to draw any distinctions on the modern rules of love and dating.

So, Discovery Health Online asked 17 single men and women, ages 19-35, what they think about the rules of dating in the 21st century.

Emily, a 29-year-old graduate student, says: "If there are rules, they are a non-conscious part of my ideology. I date such vastly different people, I don't even know what common thread would align them on the rules scale."

Many singles are finding themselves in the same situation, not knowing what rules apply to dating in the new millenium.

Sam, 24, confesses: "I can't read women anymore. Some women want men to act out the traditional chivalrous role. Others are extremely independent and are offended if you open the door for them."

Unfortunately, for Emily and Sam, the rules of dating may never be definitive, but there are still a few universal dos and don'ts of dating upon which many singles — and experts — can agree.

Dating Dos

• Be attentive to your date. When faced with the dilemma of whether to bare all or listen attentively, many singles prefer to listen. Lori is a 22-year-old college student who feels she's nailed the role of "listener". "If you listen to your date, they think you're interesting even though you haven't actually said anything. Just keep asking questions and they'll think you're brilliant and fascinating."
• Maintain eye contact. Just make sure it's not too intense. Remember, you aren't a hawk eyeing it's prey.
• Plan your date out ahead of time. Avoid falling into the vicious cycle of saying, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Decide on something and do it. Be open to other suggestions if your plans don't work out.
• Meet in a public place on your first date. Not only is this a safe idea, it also allows for distractions should conversation lag. Rick, 24, agrees: "Leave the one-on romantic dates for when you really feel you are into a person."
• Offer to split the bill. The issue of "who pays" is probably one of the largest sources of confusion for singles. Most people today feel that the bill is the responsibility of the party that asked for the date. That said, it is courteous to offer to "go Dutch" and you should always be prepared to split the costs. If your date does pick up the tab, offer to pay the next time.
• Act chivalrous. Men, the women's liberation movement may have provided women with the means to financial independence and positions of power, but this does not mean that she no longer appreciates those little things that make you a gentlemen. Open doors for your date, pull out her chair for her, make sure she gets home safely. These are the things that make a good impression. Sarah, 31, believes: "If used correctly, chivalry is the charm of all charms; if overused, it seems like machismo."
• Followup with your date. Call or email your date to let them know you had a good time. This doesn't have to be a plea to see them again right away. It's simply a courtesy. If your date had an enjoyable time too, this will be icing on the cake!
• Crack jokes. Not only will this put your date at ease, it will show them you have a sense of humor.
• Discuss heavier topics. Let's face it, some people SHOULD stick to small talk, but if you're informed on a topic, go ahead and discuss it. If you find some topics appropriate and your date finds them taboo, it may be better to realize this early on.

Dating Don'ts

• Don't act distracted during a date. Turn off your cell phone and keep your eyes from wandering. Nothing will show a greater lack of interest on your part than fielding phone calls and checking out the waitstaff.
• Don't turn your date into a therapy session. Avoid subjects like your ex, your bad relationship with your mother or your growing sense of insecurity over the strange growth you've discovered on your back.
• Don't be pretentious. Nobody is perfect and nothing is more annoying than someone who acts like they are.
• Don't agree for the sake of agreeing. It's important to stand your ground and let your date know where you stand on certain topics. The point is getting to know one another. Most people enjoy intellectual argument, as long as you avoid insulting your date's intelligence.
• Don't try to make any uninvited physical advances. There are so many different opinions on what is acceptable, physically, on a date. Cara, 29, holds the opinion that if there is chemistry, the physical aspects of a relationship will fall into place. "If things feel right, then hold hands, kiss, whatever feels right. Nothing is worse, though, than a first date who is way too into PDA (public displays of affection). It's sort of like they are staking their claim, which is a major turn-off."
• Women, don't be afraid to ask a man for a date. In fact, many men find a woman who will make the first move attractive and confident. Kate, 30, agrees: "A woman asking a man for a date doesn't have to be a pathetic plea to listen to Seal over a candlelit dinner. You can invite the guy to something you are going to anyway, like a concert, so it's like you are asking them to come along."
• Don't consume large amounts of alcohol. In one of his early movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger told his drunken wife: "You should not drink and bake." Well, the same holds true for dating: You should not drink and date. Athough the reasons for this are pretty obvious, it's a trap many people fall into and it has ruined many a person's chances for a second date. If you must drink, stick with one beer or glass of wine.
• Don't be afraid to end the date early. If things aren't working out or you are uncomfortable, feel free to end the date at any time.

http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/dating_rules.html

Online Dating: Love at First Byte

"I'm a progressive well-read mother of three … run my golden retriever almost every day. I'm a kitchen dancer; theatre-goer; kayaker (learned to roll but just no time); lapsed photographer; dogged skier; an anti-materialist with a clothing consultant."

So states the cleverly written ad of Nora (not her real name), one of 380,000 subscribers who shell out between $25 and $100 a year in the hope of attracting that special someone on Match.com, a leading online dating service with a database of 3 million romance seekers.

Nora's ideal match should be "smart, confident and naturally sexy," she writes, adding that you won't find him surrending a Saturday to TV sports because "so many other parts of life fascinate and beckon" him. And "no military types, couch potatoes or chronic depressives need apply."

Online Dating: The Rules in Reverse
Welcome to the world of online dating, where thanks to email, the rules of courtship have been reversed. Instead of physical chemistry being the basis for getting to know someone, an emotional and intellectual connection is what drives the decision to meet "offline" and see if there is a physical attraction.

Explains Trish McDermott, vice president of romance for Match.com, an avid user of her company's service (she dated someone she met online for 2 1/2 years): "Online you first see matches who meet some core criteria that you deem meaningful and important. You spend time getting to know this person, testing for good communications skills, a sense of humor, shared life goals and other areas of compatibility. Finally, if all seems right, you arrange to meet."

More Choices = Better Odds
For Nora, who at age 48 isn't inclined to barhop or attend single events, online dating is the best tactic she knows for finding a mate. "The more prospects I can meet and reject, the sooner I may come across some terrific man," she says.

Jim (also a pseudonym) met Nora on Match.com and began dating her after corresponding for a few weeks by email. He also likes the wide net cast by the Internet and compares online dating to being in a supermarket. "You get to see how the packaging looks and read a little about the ingredients. And if you want to buy it and try it, all it takes is an email."

The key to online dating is writing an ad or profile that attracts the kind of people you are seeking. Even with a well-crafted, targeted ad, be prepared to devote considerable time to browsing through responses, selecting matches and maintaining email contact. In less than a year, Nora has screened 100 responses. She has met 10 matches and dated half of them more than once.

"It takes a lot of time to review and contact matches, time to screen and talk to them, and time to keep your ad updated," she reports.

How to Stand Out From the Crowd
Your online profile is your first impression, so take the time to get it right. There are a few obvious "no brainers": post a great photo of yourself, accentuate the positive and be honest and direct. Asserting that all of your friends think you're attractive, or dogs don't run and bury their bones when you walk by, may seem perfectly straightforward to you, but to others it may trigger suspicion.

Match.com's McDermott offers the following tips on penning a good profile:

* Less is more. Don't expose every nook and cranny of your life — your pet peeves, your micro-managing boss, and your pesky "ex".
* Write sparingly. Don't write more than you might divulge at a cocktail party. All of that information can come after you have connected with someone.
* Be unique and memorable. "My home is more French Farm than French Country," reads a line in Nora's profile. Write in a manner that evokes some kind of response from the reader, which can be anything from curiosity to a chuckle.
* Have fun. Be genuine, relaxed and playful. "I'll follow any adventure, from finding box turtles to jumping out of airplanes," claims Nora. Playful people are the type to whom we tend to be attracted, says McDermott.

But Is Online Dating Safe?
If you decide to try online dating, make sure the service has an anonymous remailer to allow you to correspond with other members without giving out your contact information, advises McDermott. Take as much time as you need to get to know someone before arranging to meet, which should be in a public place with several of your friends aware of your plans. Keep the meeting simple — a cup a coffee. That way it is easy to say goodbye quickly if there isn't a connection.

Matches for Everyone
Online dating traffic has been picking up since September 11, 2001, and in response to growing demand, the big dating sites are adding more features and functionality. The 911 tragedy, experts agree, brought home the fact that life is short and relationships matter. People have been turning to all types of dating services in record numbers.

Match.com, One and Only Internet Personals, Yahoo Personals and Kiss.com allow searching of their database by location, age, gender and other keywords and make matches based on criteria set by you. There are also online dating services specific to ethnic, religious and interest groups.

Most services charge a subscription fee to respond to members' ads but allow you to search and post your profile and photo for free. They need that critical mass to persuade people like you to subscribe!

Work the system, says Nora, and you will get "qualified" matches. One senior man who fell in love at first byte on Match.com told the service "if a legally blind, bald, one-legged old man can find love online, then anyone can."


http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/onlinedating_02.html

Have Dating Rules Changed?

Lindsey is an associate professor in the Department of Communication Studies at New Mexico State University. She teaches communication in friendships and romantic relationships, as well as modern mediums of interpersonal communication, a class on socializing and developing relationships over the Internet.

She also is the author or co-author of several book chapters and articles published in Sex Roles, Human Communication Research, Communication Monographs, Communication Quarterly, Communication Research Reports and the Journal of Language and Social Psychology.
Q: Have the "rules" of dating changed, or it it pretty much status quo?
A: Dating appears to be a much less formal, "ritualized" process these days. That is, dating no longer has to involve the process of boy-asks-girl-out, he picks her up at her house, they go out for dinner and a movie, and they exchange a first kiss on the girl's doorstep. It may be more like "getting together for a drink" after work, or, for people college-aged and below, getting together with friends in a larger group and maybe having interaction one-on-one within the group. These days, people can easily become romantic partners without ever having gone on a single formal date.

Q: Many women complain that chivalry is dead. Do you agree?
A: It may be that chivalry is more confused than it is dead. The other day a guy apologized to me when he opened my car door, saying it was force of habit! I'm pretty sure he apologized because many guys don't know how a woman will perceive chivalry these days; they may fear that it will be regarded as insulting and/or non-p.c. by a woman, rather than regarded as gentlemanly. The simple solution, I think, is for both parties to be just plain polite and thoughtful of others, regardless of their own gender or the gender of others. If you're a guy, open doors for others who are behind you, no matter if they're male or female. If you're a woman, do the same. The difference between politeness and chivalry? Politeness is universally a sign of respect for others, while chivalry can be thought of as unnecessarily protective rather than respectful. In short: Chivalry is out. Politeness is in.

Q: What sort of characteristics are singles today looking for in a mate? Have these changed as a result of societal influences?
A: People are still looking for the same qualities in a mate that they've always been looking for: physical attractiveness; similarity in age, education, socio-economic level and attitudes; a sense of humor; an ability to meet or complement each other's emotional and physical needs; some sort of career ambitions, whether we're talking male or female. Also, most people are still looking for someone that they can marry and/or have kids with. That hasn't really changed at all.

Q: What do you think about "unconventional" ways of dating, such as Internet or speed dating?
A: Meeting and forming relationships on the Internet is rapidly becoming less and less unconventional; nobody is surprised when they hear about it occurring anymore. Internet dating, speed dating, and similar forms of romance are all becoming more popular in general, mostly because they are convenient in terms of time and money. They are well-suited to people from a culture such as the U.S. — people who constantly have to trade off time for money, and who are often too tired to go socializing after a tough day's/week's work. (Want more information on online dating?)

Q: Are the roles of women and men changing or evolving in the dating scene?
A: Along with changes in the formality of dating, there are a few changes in roles. For example, I don't think men are expected to pay for everything when they're out with a woman anymore; there's more of a tendency for the two to go dutch on at least some occasions, or maybe trade off on who pays for outings. Some aspects of roles are surprisingly unchanging, however. While you might expect that girls would be able to ask guys out with impunity these days, it's not proving to be the case. Studies by Paul Mongeau and his colleague during the mid- to late 90s showed repeatedly that if a woman asks a guy out, she's likely to be seen as a "non-serious dater" and more sexually active than a woman who was asked out by a guy. A majority of guys in one study also reported that they had higher expectations for sex on a date when a woman asks them out than vice versa. Though, interestingly, men who were asked out on a date by a woman ended up having sex less frequently than did the guys who asked a woman out.

Q: What are your top three dos and don'ts of dating?
A: Hmmm. Well, I don't know about a specific order, but some definite dos for both genders might be: Have a good idea of what you and the other person would enjoy doing for the evening, then do it. Know how to make interesting conversation; ask the other person questions about him or herself, reveal interesting but not too risky things about yourself, keep the talk positive, and in general, use conversation to search for similarities. If you're heterosexual, learn how to talk like the opposite sex. Remember all your manners, and remember to use them. Also, maintain high levels of gaze (don't avert your eyes from the other person's), and stop thinking about yourself — it'll only make you self-conscious. Focus on the other person instead.

Some dos for guys specifically: Wear some decent clothing; college-aged women complain constantly about men's lack of a decent wardrobe!

Some don'ts for women specifically: Don't feel compelled to talk all the time, learn to enjoy and feel comfortable with silence. And avoid asking too many personal questions.

Some don'ts for both genders: Don't get foolishly drunk, don't talk about previous romances, avoid complaining or negative topics in general. Don't wear too much cologne or perfume, and don't eat spaghetti or anything else that will get all over your face and clothes. Avoid mistaking friendliness for sexual interest, and don't touch too much or crowd the other person's space unless you're invited to do so.


http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/dating.html

Speed Dating: A New Form of Matchmaking

If you're dating in this day and age, you know that time constraints can have a big impact on your social life. Many television shows and cities have a solution called "speed dating." What is speed dating? In this article we will address the most common speed dating questions and provide you with speed dating answers from our experts.

Love and marriage have always gone hand in hand. With the efficiency of shotgun weddings and quickie divorces, it would only seem natural for dating to follow suit.

Enter the fast-paced world of speed dating, where singles have the opportunity to date up to ten other lovelorn singles in one evening.

How is this possible, you ask? Each date lasts a mere seven minutes. What makes speed dating different from the typical bar scene is that participants have the same objective — to meet a potential companion.

Rules of the Game
The rules of speed dating are quite simple. A group of singles gathers at a cafe or similar venue. Armed with a nametag, a scorecard and their sparkling personality, couples are paired up to begin their first date. They are allowed to discuss anything, except their careers, or where the live.

Following seven minutes of conversation, a bell is rung, and the men move on to meet their next date. Think of it as a flirt's version of musical chairs.

Following each date, participants mark on a card whether they would have an interest in meeting their date again. If a mutual interest is noted, speed-dating organizers provide each party with the other's phone number.

Where Did Speed Dating Come From?
Speed dating, established by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo in 1999, is based on a Jewish tradition of chaperoned gatherings of young Jewish singles. Originally intended as a way of keeping Jewish singles from marrying outside the faith; the speed-dating movement has flourished in both Jewish and secular communities throughout the world.

For many singles tired of the bar scene and weary of blind dates, speed dating offers a fun and safe alternative.

But Does Speed Dating Work?
Speed dating has proven to be fairly successful, with approximately half of all participants coming away with a potential match. While some may be uncomfortable with the notion of making repeated small talk ten times in one evening, advocates of speed dating believe that the success of this "unconventional" arrangement lies in "conventional" — simple chemistry.

But the question remains: Is seven minutes enough time to fairly assess someone? Afterall, in this short time, you may have written off someone you might have otherwise found interesting in a traditional dating scenario.

Conversely, you may think you've met your dream date. But had you more time — even one more minute — you may have discovered that "dreamboat" has a toe-nail clipping collection under his bed.

Regardless, the popularity of speed dating is growing at a rapid pace. Is speed dating the new revolution in relationships or is this fad's seven minutes up?


http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/speed_dating.html