The Informal Normal In a Black-Tie-Affair World
Have you noticed the trend?
You ever notice how on programs like "The Bachelor" most of their dating episodes are via limousine escort?
They travel to lavish destinations amid scenic splendor. The sunsets are so beautiful you can almost hear nature singing its own rendition of, "Love Is A Many Splendid Thing."
You rarely ever even see a rainy day.
In "Sleepless In Seattle," the audience was left "Speechless in New York" atop the Empire State Building. The climactic romantic interlude that followed is one that will be etched in the memory of movie-lovers for a long time to come.
In "Sabrina," the audience feels the eloquent charm and ambience of Paris.
"You've Got Mail" spammed us with the scenic elegance and grandeur of all that's good in and around "The Big Apple".
If you really want to be depressed, sit and watch some of the workout programs that abound. Watch as brisk morning breezes enrapture the velvety clouds tracing the horizon from the backdrops of scenic vistas and ocean views. Who couldn't be motivated to work out?
We easily become captivated by "Lifestyles of The Rich and Famous," "Cribs," and the latest craze of "Extreme Make Over-Home Edition," dreaming if only...
Watch a few of the music videos that abound at VH1, MTV and BET. You will see more money, lavish diamonds, fancy fashions, flashy gold jewelry, expensive limousines and other fine automobiles watching these music video programs for one hour than most people will see in the average lifetime.
All commercials seem to have the same goal in mind to make us feel that their product is the missing link to our imminent happiness.
We live in a Black Tie Affair World!
No wonder so many people struggle with comparisons.
When one becomes enamored by the glitz and the glamour so prevalent in our culture, it is easy to feel relationally shortchanged and cheated in life.
This Black-Tie-Affair mindset causes many couples to strive to keep up with the Joneses to the point of being maxed out to the hilt in financial demise from debt. Money issues are cited as one of the biggest reasons for the breakdown in the family leading to divorce.
Are you struggling with the fantasy?
Are you confused with all the hoopla?
Is this life reality?
Is this relational reality?
Is it reality?
If it is, I must be missing something. I must have made a wrong turn in the road somewhere. Most of the families I know must have made the wrong turn with me.
Although my wife and I love each other very much, much of our relationship life is spent, well, INFORMALLY NORMAL. A day in the life for most couples is spent:
* Punching the old inevitable time clock.
* Doing the dishes and the laundry.
* Cooking.
* Paying bills.
* Fighting colds, headaches and fatigue.
* Changing diapers.
* Bathing the kids and getting them ready for bed.
* Getting up the next day and doing it all over again.
Most of the world struggles with getting up, getting old, getting fat, getting sick or simply getting by.
So, do yourself a favor. Stop buying in to all the hoopla and falsehood. If you get caught in this web of deceit, you just may miss out on what really matters - faith, family, character and integrity.
The last time I checked, love wasn't defined by the word MONEY.
For words that better define love you may want to consider: commitment, sacrifice, support, unselfishness, home building, encouragement, forgiveness, planning and working together.
Maybe a bit informal and normal...maybe not as flashy as dollar signs...but ironically, a lot richer!
About the Author
Stanley Leffew is the author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights and Not Just a Night of a Lifetime." His website, Advice for Lifetime Relationships is based on this same theme showing why leading-with-the-body in relationships feeds desire but fails to satisfy the longing of the heart for love, companionship and intimacy.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Writing Your Personal Ad
If you've never written a personal ad before, read through quite a few. What would attract your attention? What makes you roll your eyes and say, "Boring"? Come on, doesn't everybody like movies and romantic walks on the beach? You can do better than that!
If you're a fun person (and of course, you are!), write a fun personal ad! A great way to tell if you've gotten it right is to read it out loud--that's how it will "sound" in the reader's head. Wait to write until you're having an upbeat day and feeling good about yourself. Happiness shows, and we all enjoy being around people who enjoy life.
Think about what delight you can bring to the potential friend or partner you seek, and the unique qualities that you'll be bringing to that person's life. Then, let them know! It's not bragging, it's advertising, and if you don't tell say it, how will anybody know? The whole point is to let people know why they should get to know you, after all. If you've posted a photo (and you really need to--it increases your response rate exponentially!), and you're attractive, that goes without saying, so spend your words on something that doesn't show, like your Ph.d. in marine biology, or your world-famous comic book collection, or whatever cool fact is going to stop your prey from clicking away.
Once you've written it, set it aside for a little while before posting it. Look at a few more from other people. Then, come back and look at your own again, as if seeing it through a stranger's eyes. Is it likeable? Believable? Does it make you smile? Then load it up, and have fun!
Your Online Personal Ad-Write for Success!
Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties, sign up for various activities and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can introduce you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than a little disappointing. What is a guy/girl supposed to do to find quality people?
Begin by continuing to do what you have been doing. These are all good ways to meet people. However, you may need to expand your search to the world of online dating. This would allow you to expand your search and come into contact with interested and available singles you would never meet in the existing circles in which you now move.
Perhaps you are thinking, "I have already tried this with little or mixed success." Maybe this too has become a source of disappointment and frustration and even despair. If so, you could be going about it the wrong way, or be in need of some
information to put you on a track to better success. The first important step is writing your personal ad and choosing a good site to place it on.
The following are tips to help you write for success.
* Be Yourself
The goal of your ad is to attract the kind of person who would be compatible with you. You are looking for someone who shares your goals, values, sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific criteria. If you put in information that is not true to who you are, you could send potentially good dates on to the next ad. You may also attract the kind of person you are not interested in.
* Be Sincere
Nothing is more attractive than sincerity. Think about it. Isn't this a turn-on for you? If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If there is something that is a must-have for you in any future relationship, highlight it. Remember that when and if you move to the next step, the other person will experience you as you really are, regardless of what the picture you drew for them in your ad looked like.
* Write Like You Talk
This goes right along with being you. Don't make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will loose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and check again. There is no bigger turn-off than someone who appears to have poor grammar or spelling.
* Be Specific, But Leave Out Hang-Ups and Other Negatives
This is a first step. You want to put your true best forward. The picture you paint should be upbeat and positive. Everyone has a past. It's not wise too tell too much too soon. If you feel something is important, than put it in. A good example is "single mom", "divorced father of two", etc. Leave out the part about looking for someone to help me heal from a painful divorce. Do not mention past relationships except to inform that you had one.
* Highlight Your Uniqueness
There are things about us all that make us uniquely who we are. Let your ad portray this. If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people know about it. If it's important to you, it tells others much. If someone out there shares it, they will be drawn to what you have written. Find a unique way to highlight yourself. If you look like someone well known, put that in. Just remember, if you look like Woody Allen, don't portray yourself as a Robert Redford type.
* Avoid classic turn-offs
If you place a heavy emphasis on finding someone who is "beautiful" or "wealthy", you will turn off many people- often the very people who hope to attract. No one wants to be wanted for his or her looks or bank account. It also says something about you. How about superficial?
* Use a Picture
This is very important. Ads that don't have one get far fewer responses. Many singles are having a professional picture made of them. You want to look like your BEST self. A professional can usually do a much better job at a very reasonable cost if you shop around a bit.
* Post Your Ad On The Right Site
There are so many choices out there. Look for one that has a large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. Make sure they have an enforced safety and privacy policy. There are specialty sites for people who seek a partner with a very particular passion or lifestyle. These include but are not limited to: animal lovers, vegetarians, advanced degreed professionals, and sites for people seeking those of the same faith. If your requirements include someone within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer you a good selection.
Once you have given it careful thought and a little research and
energy, write and post your ad for success.
Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.
About the Author
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters
experience in relationship coaching with singles and couples. She has written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly.
Begin by continuing to do what you have been doing. These are all good ways to meet people. However, you may need to expand your search to the world of online dating. This would allow you to expand your search and come into contact with interested and available singles you would never meet in the existing circles in which you now move.
Perhaps you are thinking, "I have already tried this with little or mixed success." Maybe this too has become a source of disappointment and frustration and even despair. If so, you could be going about it the wrong way, or be in need of some
information to put you on a track to better success. The first important step is writing your personal ad and choosing a good site to place it on.
The following are tips to help you write for success.
* Be Yourself
The goal of your ad is to attract the kind of person who would be compatible with you. You are looking for someone who shares your goals, values, sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific criteria. If you put in information that is not true to who you are, you could send potentially good dates on to the next ad. You may also attract the kind of person you are not interested in.
* Be Sincere
Nothing is more attractive than sincerity. Think about it. Isn't this a turn-on for you? If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If there is something that is a must-have for you in any future relationship, highlight it. Remember that when and if you move to the next step, the other person will experience you as you really are, regardless of what the picture you drew for them in your ad looked like.
* Write Like You Talk
This goes right along with being you. Don't make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will loose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and check again. There is no bigger turn-off than someone who appears to have poor grammar or spelling.
* Be Specific, But Leave Out Hang-Ups and Other Negatives
This is a first step. You want to put your true best forward. The picture you paint should be upbeat and positive. Everyone has a past. It's not wise too tell too much too soon. If you feel something is important, than put it in. A good example is "single mom", "divorced father of two", etc. Leave out the part about looking for someone to help me heal from a painful divorce. Do not mention past relationships except to inform that you had one.
* Highlight Your Uniqueness
There are things about us all that make us uniquely who we are. Let your ad portray this. If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people know about it. If it's important to you, it tells others much. If someone out there shares it, they will be drawn to what you have written. Find a unique way to highlight yourself. If you look like someone well known, put that in. Just remember, if you look like Woody Allen, don't portray yourself as a Robert Redford type.
* Avoid classic turn-offs
If you place a heavy emphasis on finding someone who is "beautiful" or "wealthy", you will turn off many people- often the very people who hope to attract. No one wants to be wanted for his or her looks or bank account. It also says something about you. How about superficial?
* Use a Picture
This is very important. Ads that don't have one get far fewer responses. Many singles are having a professional picture made of them. You want to look like your BEST self. A professional can usually do a much better job at a very reasonable cost if you shop around a bit.
* Post Your Ad On The Right Site
There are so many choices out there. Look for one that has a large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. Make sure they have an enforced safety and privacy policy. There are specialty sites for people who seek a partner with a very particular passion or lifestyle. These include but are not limited to: animal lovers, vegetarians, advanced degreed professionals, and sites for people seeking those of the same faith. If your requirements include someone within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer you a good selection.
Once you have given it careful thought and a little research and
energy, write and post your ad for success.
Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.
About the Author
Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters
experience in relationship coaching with singles and couples. She has written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly.
All About BBS Door Play
So you know how fun it is to hook on to your local BBS (Bulletin Board System) and chat the night away with new friends. What if you want something more from your BBS experience? Maybe you want to command a virtual army, become a pimp, perhaps go on an exciting quest. This is where BBS door play comes in, allowing you to play fun and exciting multiplayer games through the world of the Bulletin Board System.
In the world of the BBS (Bulletin Board System) a door is a software mechanism which allows users of the BBS to hook up to an external program. Users of this external program can communicate with other users through the BBS through this door. The most common use of the door: play games of course!
During the golden age of the BBS such door play was extremely popular. While there were other uses for BBS doors (such as creating BBS polls or time banks, where users can trade rationed hours on the BBS), games were certainly the most common way to utilize the amazing door technology. After all, who doesn’t want to enjoy the fun and excitement of a multiplayer game?
Since the heyday of the BBS was during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, many a once popular door game might seem somewhat dated now. They are mostly text-based with few graphics to speak of, for the most part. But lack of graphics didn’t make them any less enjoyable, especially in a world before such explosive multiplayer games like Everquest and World of Warcraft.
So you log onto a BBS, open up a door, play a game. What sort of games were available? Due to the nature of the beast, most of the games were of the role playing or strategy variety. One of the most popular games was Barren Realms Elite, a BBS strategic war game.
In the game users would control part of a planet; these parts were known as barrens. The worlds were post-apocalyptic, and users would have to do their best to turn their barren into the strongest of all. In its most basic mode, users would compete with the other barrens on their world, seeking to overtake and destroy the others.
What made Barren Realms Elite so popular was one that it allowed BBSes to play against each other. Rather than competing with other barrens on your planet (all the barrens on a single planet would be made up from people of the same BBS), you would team up with the other barrens to seek to create the most powerful planet and destroy the other planets in the universe (populated by other BBSes). Inter-BBS door play!
Of course Barren Realms Elite (often abbreviated BRE) was not the only door game around. You also had many role playing games, such as Legend of the Red Dragon (LORD) 1 and 2, Usurper and more. There was also the popular sequel to Barren Realms Elite, called Solar Realms Elite.
The world of BBS door play was advanced in 1990 when Scott M. Baker created Land of Devastation, a multiplayer science fiction game taking place in a post-apocalyptic wasteland (there are a lot of those in science fiction games) which was the first to boast a fully graphical non-ascii user interface. In 2006 a new game was built on the “Devastation Engine” developed to create a 3D version of Land of Devastation, known as the Cerberus Incident.
As you can very well see, the world of BBS door play is one of endless possibility. Almost anything can be achieved, and because of the multiplayer functionality every game is completely different. Playing with other people will always create more possibilities than playing against a computer, because every person is different and has their own personality and their own way of playing.
http://articles.syl.com/allaboutbbsdoorplay.html
In the world of the BBS (Bulletin Board System) a door is a software mechanism which allows users of the BBS to hook up to an external program. Users of this external program can communicate with other users through the BBS through this door. The most common use of the door: play games of course!
During the golden age of the BBS such door play was extremely popular. While there were other uses for BBS doors (such as creating BBS polls or time banks, where users can trade rationed hours on the BBS), games were certainly the most common way to utilize the amazing door technology. After all, who doesn’t want to enjoy the fun and excitement of a multiplayer game?
Since the heyday of the BBS was during the late 1980’s and early 1990’s, many a once popular door game might seem somewhat dated now. They are mostly text-based with few graphics to speak of, for the most part. But lack of graphics didn’t make them any less enjoyable, especially in a world before such explosive multiplayer games like Everquest and World of Warcraft.
So you log onto a BBS, open up a door, play a game. What sort of games were available? Due to the nature of the beast, most of the games were of the role playing or strategy variety. One of the most popular games was Barren Realms Elite, a BBS strategic war game.
In the game users would control part of a planet; these parts were known as barrens. The worlds were post-apocalyptic, and users would have to do their best to turn their barren into the strongest of all. In its most basic mode, users would compete with the other barrens on their world, seeking to overtake and destroy the others.
What made Barren Realms Elite so popular was one that it allowed BBSes to play against each other. Rather than competing with other barrens on your planet (all the barrens on a single planet would be made up from people of the same BBS), you would team up with the other barrens to seek to create the most powerful planet and destroy the other planets in the universe (populated by other BBSes). Inter-BBS door play!
Of course Barren Realms Elite (often abbreviated BRE) was not the only door game around. You also had many role playing games, such as Legend of the Red Dragon (LORD) 1 and 2, Usurper and more. There was also the popular sequel to Barren Realms Elite, called Solar Realms Elite.
The world of BBS door play was advanced in 1990 when Scott M. Baker created Land of Devastation, a multiplayer science fiction game taking place in a post-apocalyptic wasteland (there are a lot of those in science fiction games) which was the first to boast a fully graphical non-ascii user interface. In 2006 a new game was built on the “Devastation Engine” developed to create a 3D version of Land of Devastation, known as the Cerberus Incident.
As you can very well see, the world of BBS door play is one of endless possibility. Almost anything can be achieved, and because of the multiplayer functionality every game is completely different. Playing with other people will always create more possibilities than playing against a computer, because every person is different and has their own personality and their own way of playing.
http://articles.syl.com/allaboutbbsdoorplay.html
All About The MBnet BBS
BBSes (Bulletin Board Systems) can be a great way to meet new people online. While they aren't as popular as they once were, there are still many BBSes to be found on the Internet, even though such notable BBSes as MBnet have gone by the wayside. One popular BBS software tool is the Synchronet BBS, developed by Rob Swindell, which currently boasts over 160 BBSes around the world.
In its heyday, MBnet was proud to boast of itself as the largest BBS (Bulletin Board System) in the world. First designed specifically for subscribers of MikroBitti magazine (A Finnish magazine for computer hobbyists started in the 1980’s), it later on allowed connection through the Internet and exploded into the #1 BBS in the world.
Being a bulletin board system for a computer magazine, MBnet became dedicated to serving the needs of newcomers to the computer and Internet world. It was a great magazine and a great bulletin board system for those looking to get started in the new high-tech universe which was making the world smaller every minute.
Unfortunately for the many fans of the MBnet BBS, it went by the wayside in 2002. This was a time when many BBSes were going out of use, as other methods for online communication (chat rooms, message boards, blogs, etc., etc.) were coming into greater popularity.
Even without the Bulletin Board System, MBnet continues its online presence, through its Internet web site www.mbnet.fi, the online home of MikroBitti magazine. It is the 50th most popular web site in all of Finland, and one of the top 10,000 most popular web sites in the world according to the Alexa web search engine.
Another major player in the early world of the BBS was the Synchronet BBS. The software platform first began as nothing more than a hobby by its creator, Rob Swindell, in 1990. It soon became hugely popular, with bulletin board systems all over the world using the platform to create its own BBSes. In the late 1990’s Synchronet changed its platform to allow Internet use, implementing Telnet, FTP, SMTP, POP3, IRC, NNTP, and HTTP protocols.
There are currently 167 Bulletin Board Systems which utilize the Synchronet BBS software, most of which are located in the United States or Canada. If you are interested in logging on to one of these many BBSes, you can check out a list of all Synchronet BBSes at the software’s official web site: www.synchro.net
The heyday of MBnet and BBSes in general might be over, but that doesn’t mean that Bulletin Board Systems can’t still be a great way to get connected with people over the World Wide Web. Do to the nature of BBSes, it can be helpful in finding people whom you know are in your area, unlike the rest of cyberspace in which you can be talking with someone as far away as India or Venezuela and not even realize it. BBSes come in many shapes and sizes: Internet based, non-Internet based, Telnet based, FTP, etc., etc., etc., so there is something there for everyone.
If you are interesting in getting started with the fascinating world of Bulletin Board Systems, try doing a search for Bulletin Board Systems in your area. Also check around with your family and friends, see if they know of any good BBSes that are in your area. Finland, home of the deceased MBnet, is one of the largest countries for BBS systems, including Freenet Finland.
There are numerous BBS directories that you can find online, so get yourself looking. Directories are generally specific either to software platform (such as Synchronet) or country (such as Finland). All BBSes have different methods of connection, most directories will inform you exactly what you need to do to log on.
http://articles.syl.com/allaboutthembnetbbs.html
In its heyday, MBnet was proud to boast of itself as the largest BBS (Bulletin Board System) in the world. First designed specifically for subscribers of MikroBitti magazine (A Finnish magazine for computer hobbyists started in the 1980’s), it later on allowed connection through the Internet and exploded into the #1 BBS in the world.
Being a bulletin board system for a computer magazine, MBnet became dedicated to serving the needs of newcomers to the computer and Internet world. It was a great magazine and a great bulletin board system for those looking to get started in the new high-tech universe which was making the world smaller every minute.
Unfortunately for the many fans of the MBnet BBS, it went by the wayside in 2002. This was a time when many BBSes were going out of use, as other methods for online communication (chat rooms, message boards, blogs, etc., etc.) were coming into greater popularity.
Even without the Bulletin Board System, MBnet continues its online presence, through its Internet web site www.mbnet.fi, the online home of MikroBitti magazine. It is the 50th most popular web site in all of Finland, and one of the top 10,000 most popular web sites in the world according to the Alexa web search engine.
Another major player in the early world of the BBS was the Synchronet BBS. The software platform first began as nothing more than a hobby by its creator, Rob Swindell, in 1990. It soon became hugely popular, with bulletin board systems all over the world using the platform to create its own BBSes. In the late 1990’s Synchronet changed its platform to allow Internet use, implementing Telnet, FTP, SMTP, POP3, IRC, NNTP, and HTTP protocols.
There are currently 167 Bulletin Board Systems which utilize the Synchronet BBS software, most of which are located in the United States or Canada. If you are interested in logging on to one of these many BBSes, you can check out a list of all Synchronet BBSes at the software’s official web site: www.synchro.net
The heyday of MBnet and BBSes in general might be over, but that doesn’t mean that Bulletin Board Systems can’t still be a great way to get connected with people over the World Wide Web. Do to the nature of BBSes, it can be helpful in finding people whom you know are in your area, unlike the rest of cyberspace in which you can be talking with someone as far away as India or Venezuela and not even realize it. BBSes come in many shapes and sizes: Internet based, non-Internet based, Telnet based, FTP, etc., etc., etc., so there is something there for everyone.
If you are interesting in getting started with the fascinating world of Bulletin Board Systems, try doing a search for Bulletin Board Systems in your area. Also check around with your family and friends, see if they know of any good BBSes that are in your area. Finland, home of the deceased MBnet, is one of the largest countries for BBS systems, including Freenet Finland.
There are numerous BBS directories that you can find online, so get yourself looking. Directories are generally specific either to software platform (such as Synchronet) or country (such as Finland). All BBSes have different methods of connection, most directories will inform you exactly what you need to do to log on.
http://articles.syl.com/allaboutthembnetbbs.html
9 - Senior dating /friend finder
Senior dating tips
The need for romance and love does not diminish with age. For many older people dating can be a scary experience, however, following some basic guidelines can make senior dating fun and safe. Seniors usually attempt to get back into the dating game after the death of a spouse or simply out of the desire for companionship. The main senior friend finder problems they tend to encounter are:
* Health related issues
* Disapproval from children and grandchildren
* Not knowing where to find persons to date
* Fear of the unknown
However, all of these obstacles can be overcome with a little knowledge and understanding.
Health related issues
With aging comes many health issues which can make dating difficult for seniors. However, senior dating doesn�t have to be hampered unduly by these facts of life. If you suffer pains and discomfort from age-related conditions such as arthritis, your doctor can help by prescribing pain medication and therapy.
If you or the senior friend finder person you are interested in have mobility problems that does not have to be a major issue either. Many restaurants and other public places are now equipped with disabled access.
Family objections
Unfortunately, many younger persons have the misconception that seniors do not need to date if their spouse has died and as such disapprove of senior dating. This is not true as everyone, regardless of age, has the desire for companionship and intimacy. Overcoming the disapproval of family members may take time, however, before they can accept what is happening. Once the senior in question is still mentally alert there is little need for interference if they are dating or using a senior friend finder service.
Where to find partners?
This is generally the greatest obstacle in the senior dating arena. Many older persons are unsure how to get back into the dating world. Many turn to online match making sites such as senior friend finder sites for help, but this while helpful is also poses potential dangers, and should be approached carefully.
There are a number of others ways for seniors to find dating partners:
* Church: senior dating is sometimes made possible by churches where people meet on senior friend finder singles nights or during senior citizens activities and socials
* There are many centers for seniors where single persons can meet and get to know each other. These centers provide the place and in some instances the opportunity for senior dating with events such as bingo and chess nights
* Friends are also another source of dating opportunities for seniors. Most seniors will have friends who can arrange blind dates for them with suitable partners.
Senior dating is not only fun, but can also be healthy as companionship has been proven to be beneficial to the mental, emotional and physical health of the elderly. With an increasing baby boomer population, and better health due to advances in medical care, senior dating is becoming an increasing activity.
The options listed above are also great as a senior friend finder tool if all you want is to find and build friendships without romance. In addition there are many online groups that work as friend finder facilities for seniors.
http://seniors.seniorliving.org.in/senior-matchmaking.php
The need for romance and love does not diminish with age. For many older people dating can be a scary experience, however, following some basic guidelines can make senior dating fun and safe. Seniors usually attempt to get back into the dating game after the death of a spouse or simply out of the desire for companionship. The main senior friend finder problems they tend to encounter are:
* Health related issues
* Disapproval from children and grandchildren
* Not knowing where to find persons to date
* Fear of the unknown
However, all of these obstacles can be overcome with a little knowledge and understanding.
Health related issues
With aging comes many health issues which can make dating difficult for seniors. However, senior dating doesn�t have to be hampered unduly by these facts of life. If you suffer pains and discomfort from age-related conditions such as arthritis, your doctor can help by prescribing pain medication and therapy.
If you or the senior friend finder person you are interested in have mobility problems that does not have to be a major issue either. Many restaurants and other public places are now equipped with disabled access.
Family objections
Unfortunately, many younger persons have the misconception that seniors do not need to date if their spouse has died and as such disapprove of senior dating. This is not true as everyone, regardless of age, has the desire for companionship and intimacy. Overcoming the disapproval of family members may take time, however, before they can accept what is happening. Once the senior in question is still mentally alert there is little need for interference if they are dating or using a senior friend finder service.
Where to find partners?
This is generally the greatest obstacle in the senior dating arena. Many older persons are unsure how to get back into the dating world. Many turn to online match making sites such as senior friend finder sites for help, but this while helpful is also poses potential dangers, and should be approached carefully.
There are a number of others ways for seniors to find dating partners:
* Church: senior dating is sometimes made possible by churches where people meet on senior friend finder singles nights or during senior citizens activities and socials
* There are many centers for seniors where single persons can meet and get to know each other. These centers provide the place and in some instances the opportunity for senior dating with events such as bingo and chess nights
* Friends are also another source of dating opportunities for seniors. Most seniors will have friends who can arrange blind dates for them with suitable partners.
Senior dating is not only fun, but can also be healthy as companionship has been proven to be beneficial to the mental, emotional and physical health of the elderly. With an increasing baby boomer population, and better health due to advances in medical care, senior dating is becoming an increasing activity.
The options listed above are also great as a senior friend finder tool if all you want is to find and build friendships without romance. In addition there are many online groups that work as friend finder facilities for seniors.
http://seniors.seniorliving.org.in/senior-matchmaking.php
The business of online matchmaking
A few months ago, in this column, we looked at the re-emergence of Internet business and business models based purely on the Web. Though much of the hype and discussion on the second Internet boom revolves around Google and its impending IPO, numerous small and micro businesses have found a globalised platform and audience, thanks to the power of search. Similar is the case with businesses surviving under the umbrella of eBay. Marketers are also predicting the resurgence of online advertising, especially because of optimistic predictions from the likes of Google and Yahoo that have shown millions of dollars in revenue from such advertising.
I have been a close follower of online trends, right from the heady days of dotcom boom when I helped co-found GaramChai.com—a niche portal for NRI and Indians in the US—that continues to operate to this day. Since the late nineties, several business models have emerged and floundered on the Internet. Many will recall the “eyeball exposure” days when the worth of a portal was valued by the number of eyeballs or hits. Since the tech crash, some sanity has returned to the online world where entrepreneurs continue to make money with their innovative business and operating models.
Among the scores of business ideas out there, online matchmaking has continued to see phenomenal growth. The global Indian online matchmaking and matrimonial business has carved a niche for itself in the cyberspace, and alongside, has lead to a small revolution in the way the tech savvy youth of our generation are contemplating finding a match. The Internet-matrimonial and matchmaking industry is grossing billions of dollars a year and the South-Asian wedding market is experiencing a boom. The Economist magazine estimates the market to be around $11 billion with a growth rate of about 25 percent per year. Indian matrimonial sites and portals have created a successful business by blending personal touch with technology, grossing millions for the entrepreneurs behind the scenes.
The topic is interesting because of both the technical and business angle and as I started gathering data for this column, I decided to expand it into a two part series. In this part of the column, we will look at the innovative use of technology and in the next part we will examine the business model.
Innovative use of technology
Cyber marriages, e-dating, e-mail-love (a la “you’ve-got-mail”) have been eulogised in endless articles in the media, sitcoms and movies; so, what’s new? Not much, except, as the novelty of the Web wears off, so does the infatuation over falling head over heals over an unknown face one met on the Internet. Matchmaking itself is an intricate and complex affair involving innumerable variables including the elusive ‘chemistry,’ ‘love’, etc, which are hard to describe, more so in the Indian context where the families get really involved.
Over the decades, several technologies and techniques, including classified advertisements in newspapers and magazines have been used to expand the scope of one’s search for the ideal partner.
In India, where the concept of ‘arranged’ marriage is still pervasive, individuals also look forward to different channels so that they have a ‘choice.’ Technology is cutting through traditional avenues of matchmaking for Indians, following the western trend where dating sites are among the most highly ranked Internet portals. The demand is definitely there: Educated urbane youngsters contemplating matrimony are increasingly using the power of the Web if not to find “the one” but at least to get a few referrals that they can vet. Use of Internet and the Web is therefore the next evolutionary step in the match-searching process.
The pervasiveness of the Web is fueling an extremely strong business model, as was evident from my recent discussion with Murugavel (Muruga) Janakiraman, founder/ chief executive officer of BharatMatrimony.com, which is actually a collection of regionally focused matrimonial portals with a similar operational engine. Muruga got all animated while describing the success of his portal, claiming that they had successfully matched over 20,000 marriages, including his own: If eating one’s cooking were a measure of success, this is truly a selling point! A team at Sulekha, a popular Indian portal, spent months seeking to build an interactive portal for matrimonial and launched ‘Sangam’ earlier this year (www.sulekha.com/sangam/).
Developing a matrimonial portal is not rocket-science per se since the technologies to integrate search, posting, validating, etc, exist; however, the power of such portal is in the human angle of controlling coordinating and managing the operations. Most online portals employ individuals who vet each posting and photograph for content, accuracy, etc, and to ensure that the bad apples stay away.
In the next part of this column, we will take a closer look at the business models adopted along with the challenges faced by matrimonial portals.
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