Knowing how and when to kiss her can be a tricky thing. Kissing her too early will give a vulgar and insensitive impression, and kissing her too late will give her an insecure or un-confident feeling. The kiss itself says a lot about you, and will give her a lot of information about the future of your relationship. How do you make sure the first kiss is a great one? Read on to find out.
Kissing her at the right moment is a key point in how to kiss. As a general rule, I like to kiss a girl as soon as I know I can. Why? Because this tells her that the relationship isn't just going to "sit there" because I'm not comfortable moving things forward. Kissing her early also takes care of a lot of the tension in the air.
Showing her I know how to kiss early removes clears the air of being in a "dating process."
Reading if she's ready to be kissed is about feeling the intimacy of the interaction. How comfortable is she physically with you, and how comfortable is she with staying in an intimate energy with you? (I.e. Maintaining eye contact, letting you stroke her hair, touch the back of her neck without looking away, etc.)
Of course, showing her you know how to kiss well also gives a strong impression. See, women are always sub-consciously looking for "clues" as to how you are in bed. If the first kiss is awkward and forced, her mind automatically assumes that this is what it would be like in bed with you as well.
If you show her you know how to kiss well, and it feels sensual and passionate, her mind will also assume you're great in bed.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Derek_Carson
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The Key to a Successful Relationships: Self Love
Are you wondering how could self love be so important in a relationship between two people? I will answer that question with another question, how can you love anyone if you can not love yourself? The answer is you can not. A great analogy is a stewardess on an airplane will always tell you that when the plane is going down, if the cabin is running low on oxygen, to always give yourself the oxygen first before giving it to an infant. If you give it to the infant first, you could pass out from lack of oxygen, and than both of you are goners. The same is true in a relationship; fill yourself up with self love first, and than you have plenty of love to give to your lucky partner.
So what is self love? Self love is not that egotist, self centered, conceited love that unfortunately some people have. These people put their own selfish needs first even when it hurts others. Self love is when you respect yourself enough that you stay out of harmful situations, get your needs met while avoiding hurting others, and take care of your body, mind, and spirit. How do you cultivate self love? The following are tips to create self love in your life:
1. Stop pretending to be someone you are not to impress and/or please someone else. How would you feel if someone you were falling in love with turned out to be an imposter?
2. Be yourself always; if you do not know who you are, then take the journey of self discovery. It takes a lifetime to answer the question “Who Am I?”
3. Do activities that you enjoy: swimming, walking, reading, socializing, taking classes, volunteering, etc.
4. The qualities that you desire in a mate, cultivate those same qualities in yourself.
5. Always see the glass as half full instead of half empty and surround yourself around positive people.
The more you practice the above five suggestion, the more you will love yourself. The more you love yourself,the higher quality people you will attract into your life. The higher quality people that are in your life, the easier it is for “The One” to come into your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pamela_Cummins
So what is self love? Self love is not that egotist, self centered, conceited love that unfortunately some people have. These people put their own selfish needs first even when it hurts others. Self love is when you respect yourself enough that you stay out of harmful situations, get your needs met while avoiding hurting others, and take care of your body, mind, and spirit. How do you cultivate self love? The following are tips to create self love in your life:
1. Stop pretending to be someone you are not to impress and/or please someone else. How would you feel if someone you were falling in love with turned out to be an imposter?
2. Be yourself always; if you do not know who you are, then take the journey of self discovery. It takes a lifetime to answer the question “Who Am I?”
3. Do activities that you enjoy: swimming, walking, reading, socializing, taking classes, volunteering, etc.
4. The qualities that you desire in a mate, cultivate those same qualities in yourself.
5. Always see the glass as half full instead of half empty and surround yourself around positive people.
The more you practice the above five suggestion, the more you will love yourself. The more you love yourself,the higher quality people you will attract into your life. The higher quality people that are in your life, the easier it is for “The One” to come into your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pamela_Cummins
Body Language Attraction - How To Use Your Eyes To Build Attraction
There are a ton of things you can do to build attraction and every dating coach has their own opinions as well as their own field tested results. Most will agree that your body language, how close or far away you are from her, your eyes, your vocal projection, how and when you touch her, sense of humor, confidence are all necessary ingredients (at one time or another) for building attraction.
In this body language attraction article, I am only going to focus on your eyes and how to use them to build initial attraction.
Here's the biggest lesson about eye contact and you probably already know it (it's in every major pick up forum I've ever visited so it's nothing new, but it's worth repeating):
It is simply by start looking a woman in the eye and holding it for a few seconds. Once you start getting better at this you can make funny faces, raise an eye brow, let out a small smirk, etc.
Pay attention to her response.
If she smiles back, holds eye contact a little longer, and looks away (in typical sideways glance fashion), and keeps glancing back at you, guess what? She's open to you meeting her! But if she shows no expression and looks away quickly, never bothering to look in your direction again, you'll be wasting your time on her! So now you know it's best to move on and find another women who WILL enjoy your company.
Let me tell you the reason behind this technique.
Women, especially hot ones, get approaches by tons of men who suck up to them, say stupid things. By simply holding your eye contact a little longer than normal you're telling her that there's a very small chances you are one of those guys. Because those guys usually don't hold the eye contact.
It will also communicate to her that you are confident. It tells her you are not an average guy. An average guy looks a hot girl in the eye and then looks down at the floor or he looks away.
That's how you generate initial attraction to women. Holding your eye contact is just one of the few things you can start doing right now to begin having better results with the female population. So, start having fun with this. Start experimenting with your eye contact. Who knows, you just might make a new friend. Good Luck!
Do you know What are the Mistakes that Almost Every Guys Makes on First Dates - And What to Do to About It? How can you tell if a woman is interested in you? How to Use Your Sexual Body Language to Make Women Notice and Feel ATTRACTION to You?
Find out how to successfully meet, date, attract, and become intimate with women plus GET FREE NEWSLETTER - 3 Times a Week + FREE EBOOK by visiting http://www.freewebs.com/herm4n/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sun_Yung
In this body language attraction article, I am only going to focus on your eyes and how to use them to build initial attraction.
Here's the biggest lesson about eye contact and you probably already know it (it's in every major pick up forum I've ever visited so it's nothing new, but it's worth repeating):
It is simply by start looking a woman in the eye and holding it for a few seconds. Once you start getting better at this you can make funny faces, raise an eye brow, let out a small smirk, etc.
Pay attention to her response.
If she smiles back, holds eye contact a little longer, and looks away (in typical sideways glance fashion), and keeps glancing back at you, guess what? She's open to you meeting her! But if she shows no expression and looks away quickly, never bothering to look in your direction again, you'll be wasting your time on her! So now you know it's best to move on and find another women who WILL enjoy your company.
Let me tell you the reason behind this technique.
Women, especially hot ones, get approaches by tons of men who suck up to them, say stupid things. By simply holding your eye contact a little longer than normal you're telling her that there's a very small chances you are one of those guys. Because those guys usually don't hold the eye contact.
It will also communicate to her that you are confident. It tells her you are not an average guy. An average guy looks a hot girl in the eye and then looks down at the floor or he looks away.
That's how you generate initial attraction to women. Holding your eye contact is just one of the few things you can start doing right now to begin having better results with the female population. So, start having fun with this. Start experimenting with your eye contact. Who knows, you just might make a new friend. Good Luck!
Do you know What are the Mistakes that Almost Every Guys Makes on First Dates - And What to Do to About It? How can you tell if a woman is interested in you? How to Use Your Sexual Body Language to Make Women Notice and Feel ATTRACTION to You?
Find out how to successfully meet, date, attract, and become intimate with women plus GET FREE NEWSLETTER - 3 Times a Week + FREE EBOOK by visiting http://www.freewebs.com/herm4n/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sun_Yung
Kissing Techniques For Men
Learning great kissing techniques can give you a huge boost in your relationships. By giving her a great kiss, she'll see you as more confident - And somewhere in the back of her mind, she'll even imagine you as great in bed. Read on to learn the secrets to great kissing techniques.
The first key lesson is this: Kissing techniques is not about physical techniques! When most men picture kissing techniques, they imagine specific tongue swirls, lip positions, etc. This is not what it's about at all.
Kissing techniques is 90% about creating feelings. Give her the feeling of being completely protected and taken care of. Or give her the feeling of being dominated. Or give her the feeling of feeling loved. A great kisser can give his partner a huge range of sensations with just his kiss.
Of course, there's something to be said for physical kissing techniques, but a good kisser who can swirl his tongue right is never a match for the man who can make women feel an avalanche of sexual and sensual feelings.
One key skill for generating these emotions is learning to create sexual tension.
Sexual tension is the charged energy that fills the room when it's clear a man and a woman want each other, but nothing has been said yet. Everyone in the room can feel it, especially the man and the woman. The stronger the sexual tension is, the more powerful the kiss.
Women constantly dream about the man who can come and emotionally sweep her off her feet. They dream of the moment in movies where the camera zooms in on the two main characters, the music slows, and the tension between them is so powerful that everyone in the theater is completely glued to the screen.
The gift of that feeling is what you want to give your woman.
To learn more secrets behind sexual tension, including proven kissing techniques to creating electrifying tension and giving her a mind-blowing kiss, visit: http://www.masterthekiss.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Derek_Carson
The first key lesson is this: Kissing techniques is not about physical techniques! When most men picture kissing techniques, they imagine specific tongue swirls, lip positions, etc. This is not what it's about at all.
Kissing techniques is 90% about creating feelings. Give her the feeling of being completely protected and taken care of. Or give her the feeling of being dominated. Or give her the feeling of feeling loved. A great kisser can give his partner a huge range of sensations with just his kiss.
Of course, there's something to be said for physical kissing techniques, but a good kisser who can swirl his tongue right is never a match for the man who can make women feel an avalanche of sexual and sensual feelings.
One key skill for generating these emotions is learning to create sexual tension.
Sexual tension is the charged energy that fills the room when it's clear a man and a woman want each other, but nothing has been said yet. Everyone in the room can feel it, especially the man and the woman. The stronger the sexual tension is, the more powerful the kiss.
Women constantly dream about the man who can come and emotionally sweep her off her feet. They dream of the moment in movies where the camera zooms in on the two main characters, the music slows, and the tension between them is so powerful that everyone in the theater is completely glued to the screen.
The gift of that feeling is what you want to give your woman.
To learn more secrets behind sexual tension, including proven kissing techniques to creating electrifying tension and giving her a mind-blowing kiss, visit: http://www.masterthekiss.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Derek_Carson
Creating An Effective Personals Ad That Gets Results: Do's and Don'ts
Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating your personal resume. Many of the online systems provide a multiple choice matching along with an essay. After someone finds you with a "match", it is your essay portion that can make you shine. It is crucial to fill out the essay completely, with at least 2 or three sentences per question asked. You can come back to the essay later on many systems. You will spend 45 minutes to an hour filling this out. People who do not fill out the essay are not taking seriously and get passed on for other profiles that are more forthcoming. Be honest in your ad.
What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.
Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.
Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.
What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you.
Words to Use and Avoid:
Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.
Words to Avoid: Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email). These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals. Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, f*ck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words. This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.
Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad. Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.
How to search for a new friend: Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles. Some have several ways. Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse. You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future.
A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay. The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values.
If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago. Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best. Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel?
Posting Photos: It is up to you to post a photo. You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo. People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture. From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address). Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile. You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.
People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games. If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere). Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format. Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats. Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down. Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo. Make sure you are smiling in the photo. (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.
What should you not send? You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc. Send your best photos. Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance. Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have. Again, think in terms of a resume. How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect). Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.
Out of Town or Unable to Answer email? Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly. If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email. Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return." This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.
Anna Winters is a writer for www.Singlesonthego.com, the largest singles groups, singles events and activities website helping 500,000 plus readers monthly find singles in their city.Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating your personal resume. Many of the online systems provide a multiple choice matching along with an essay. After someone finds you with a "match", it is your essay portion that can make you shine. It is crucial to fill out the essay completely, with at least 2 or three sentences per question asked. You can come back to the essay later on many systems. You will spend 45 minutes to an hour filling this out. People who do not fill out the essay are not taking seriously and get passed on for other profiles that are more forthcoming. Be honest in your ad.
What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.
Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.
Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.
What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you.
Words to Use and Avoid:
Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.
Words to Avoid: Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email). These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals. Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, f*ck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words. This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.
Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad. Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.
How to search for a new friend: Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles. Some have several ways. Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse. You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future.
A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay. The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values.
If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago. Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best. Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel?
Posting Photos: It is up to you to post a photo. You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo. People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture. From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address). Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile. You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.
People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games. If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere). Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format. Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats. Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down. Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo. Make sure you are smiling in the photo. (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.
What should you not send? You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc. Send your best photos. Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance. Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have. Again, think in terms of a resume. How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect). Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.
Out of Town or Unable to Answer email? Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly. If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email. Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return." This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.
Anna Winters is a writer for www.Singlesonthego.com, the largest singles groups, singles events and activities website helping 500,000 plus readers monthly find singles in their city.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anna_Winters
What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.
Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.
Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.
What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you.
Words to Use and Avoid:
Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.
Words to Avoid: Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email). These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals. Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, f*ck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words. This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.
Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad. Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.
How to search for a new friend: Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles. Some have several ways. Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse. You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future.
A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay. The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values.
If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago. Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best. Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel?
Posting Photos: It is up to you to post a photo. You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo. People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture. From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address). Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile. You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.
People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games. If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere). Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format. Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats. Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down. Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo. Make sure you are smiling in the photo. (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.
What should you not send? You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc. Send your best photos. Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance. Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have. Again, think in terms of a resume. How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect). Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.
Out of Town or Unable to Answer email? Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly. If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email. Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return." This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.
Anna Winters is a writer for www.Singlesonthego.com, the largest singles groups, singles events and activities website helping 500,000 plus readers monthly find singles in their city.Creating a great ad means selling your strengths and attributes. Think of this as creating your personal resume. Many of the online systems provide a multiple choice matching along with an essay. After someone finds you with a "match", it is your essay portion that can make you shine. It is crucial to fill out the essay completely, with at least 2 or three sentences per question asked. You can come back to the essay later on many systems. You will spend 45 minutes to an hour filling this out. People who do not fill out the essay are not taking seriously and get passed on for other profiles that are more forthcoming. Be honest in your ad.
What to write about? Describe yourself honestly and accurately. Include hard data such as your height, weight, body type, educational background and profession. Show your personality. Talk about your hobbies, interests, activities you enjoy, movies, books, or music you enjoy, where you like to travel, and minimally about your work (do not give your place of employment....keep it general such as: I am a nurse at a local clinic, an accountant with a medium size company, etc). Don't share too much information or write a book.....just write enough to get them interested. You have to leave something to talk about later.
Share your feelings and experiences, not just facts about your life. You don't want your profile to be a touchy-feely pile of mush (can you hear your potential dates heading for the door?), but you do want to communicate things people can relate to: where you're from, where you are, where you're going in life, what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. DON'T fixate on only one aspect of your life: You may love your dog, have a great career, live to ski, and those are great things to talk about in your profile. But if you talk about that and only that, you're going to come off as one-dimensional and obsessed. Show your fully rounded self. Put your personality and humor into what you write. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions. False impressions will back fire in the online dating arena as much as they will in the rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people who will like who you are.
Don't dwell on your problems and limitations: This is not the place to talk about why you got divorced, your last relationship didn't work out, or problems at work. You can talk about this later after you get to know someone. If you have children, mention them BRIEFLY with their ages and sex. Do not spend time talking about your children or reveal their names. People are wanting to look at a profile that focuses on YOU, not your immediate family. You can talk about your childcare arrangements and coaching little league soccer, etc later. People looking at your profile want to know you have time for them. Focusing on your children and their activities can give the impression that you will have limited time.
What you are looking for: Think about who you are and what you are looking for. To make friends? Fall in love? Meet someone to hang out with? Do you want something short term or long term? Do you just want to chat with? (Ex. I am looking for a cultured man between 32-45 who is a Christian, attends church, college educated, and is into opera and gallery hopping). (Ex. Looking for a down to earth gal between 22-30 that likes the country, camping, country music, country dancing and NASCAR). Don't say that you are looking for the love of your life and want to get married....this will scare a lot of people away. Its good idea to state the general type of person you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly the one that is just right for you.
Words to Use and Avoid:
Good Words: Affectionate, Likes to cuddle, interested in a committed relationship, sensitive, great cook, romantic, caring, monogamous, down to earth, looking for best friend, educated, sophisticated, loving, generous, cute, reliable, my colleagues describe me as handsome, great legs, petite, curvaceous, hourglass figure, gentleman.
Words to Avoid: Some of the bad stuff I have seen in ads. (On some systems, you will get terminated using some of this language whether in your profile or in an email). These guys have read too many Penthouse magazines and need to look in the alternative personals. Here is what NOT to put in a personal on a regular/metro site: Well hung, great in bed, I'd love to satisfy you, sexually insatiable, animal, great lover, oral, f*ck, blow, make love, erotic, uninhibited and any other sexual words. This stuff is SCARY to most women and runs them off.You can tweak and improve your profile as you go along.
Tweaking your profile: If you're getting the type of responses you're looking for, great. If you're getting responses from the wrong types of people or not getting as many responses as you'd like, then review your profile and think about how you can improve it and make yourself shine a little bit more. Most matchmaking systems have a place for you to edit your essay and parts of your ad. Take a look at it at least every couple of weeks.
How to search for a new friend: Each matchmaking system has different ways of searching for compatible profiles. Some have several ways. Typically these are MATCH, SEARCH, FIND, and some allow you to make a Search Profile that you can reuse. You can search by location, ideal height and weight, ethnic background -- even by interest in having kids in the future.
A high percentage on a multiple choice match is a good start but read the answers and look at the essay. The percentages may be great but then the profile might be someone who sounds desperate and lonely, is someone just looking for sex or has totally different interests and values.
If there is a photo, look at the photo and remember that the photo can be one taken yesterday or 5 years ago. Unless the person is down right unappealing, remember that amateur/family photos don't always make a person look their best. Look for profiles that match your ideal characteristics but also hit you the right way -- do the writers sound funny? Intellectual? Love animals as much as you do? Like to travel?
Posting Photos: It is up to you to post a photo. You will increase your response rate TEN TIMES by posting a photo. People want to see who they are writing to, and many don't want to start a correspondence and waste time with someone that they don't know if there is even a initial attraction from a photo. If you want a lot of responses, you'd better have a picture. From my experience, and from what I've heard from others, it seems that people who don't have pictures of themselves are usually hiding something. So, if you don't have a picture, people are going to assume you look like a dog. If you are a high profile person in the city you live, offer in your profile to exchange photos from your personal (yahoo or hotmail, not your real email address). Make sure you put an accurate description of what you look like in your profile. You may want to say what celebrity you closely resemble.
People who say they don't have a photo or don't have a way to get one on line are either lazy or playing games. If you don't have a scanner at home or work, take a photo to KINKO's (they are everywhere). Have your photo or photos scanned in a .jpg format. Most matchmaking systems do not allow you to send the zip files or unusable formats. Typically .jpg, .gif, and .bmp is the limit and they must be sized down. Photos should have a shirt on, clearly show your face (no sunglasses), well lit, no swimwear (except for secondary shots) and no family in your primary photo. Make sure you are smiling in the photo. (Who wants to meet someone who looks angry and glum). Many companies allow secondary shots that have your family and friends in the photos as long as you are in the photo. Don't use a photo in which you're dressed too revealingly -- you want to look elegant and alluring, but a picture of you in a bikini is going to attract the wrong kind of responses.
What should you not send? You car, house, boat, photos of your kids or friends by themselves, photos where your face is the size of a pencil head, photos with your ex, dark shots, anything revealing, etc. Send your best photos. Remember, FIRST IMPRESSIONS may be your only chance. Your most recent photo of you camping (once in 5 years) with the ball cap on may leave a the impression that you don't want others to have. Again, think in terms of a resume. How would you want an employer to first see you? (Dressed nicely with your hair perfect). Ex. A good mix would be primary photo in a business suit or polo shirt, secondary photo out rock climbing with friends, third photo with two nephews at XMAS.
Out of Town or Unable to Answer email? Members of matchmaking systems expect responses to their emails quickly. If you can't answer emails for a week or two, edit your profile and at the top of the essay say "I will be out of town for "x time frame" and will not have access to email. Please ear mark my profile and write me back at "x time frame" and I will be happy to respond when I return." This is especially important during the summer months when people are on vacation and during holidays.
Anna Winters is a writer for www.Singlesonthego.com, the largest singles groups, singles events and activities website helping 500,000 plus readers monthly find singles in their city.
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