You Can Improve Your Relatonships

Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. Do some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? It sure seems so. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. REFRESH – Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

2. DATES – Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

3. FUN – Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

4. FORGET – No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

5. SPACE – Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

6. DISAGREE – Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

7. MEMORIES – Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

About The Author

Dr. Deepak Dutta is the creator of SemanticBay.com, a user shared interactive media Web site. Authors, bloggers, photographers and users can share their mutual experiences, skills and knowledge at semanticbay.com to form a unique social network.

http://www.ArticleCity.com/

An Introduction to Relationships

Love is what everybody is after. So much time is spent discussing love, reading about it, watching movies about it and singing about it that if all that time were spent on any other problem, it would surely have been solved a long time ago. Relationships with others are the vehicle through which people find love and, hopefully, preserve it.

“Love makes the world go around” was true when it was first uttered many years ago and remains just as true today. Love is what everybody is after. So much time is spent discussing love, reading about it, watching movies about it and singing about it that if all that time were spent on any other problem, it would surely have been solved a long time ago. Relationships with others are the vehicle through which people find love and, hopefully, preserve it.

Since the beginning of time, themes of romantic relationships have dominated the stories we tell. The first and most well known Bible story is about the relationship between Adam and Eve. The story goes that Adam was alone in the garden and begged God for a companion. In the Bible, God created man, but man’s humanity was not complete without the love of another like himself. This basic human value is reflected in religions across the globe, and in our secular stories as well.

Nowadays, relationships, their creation, preservation, and demise, have spawned numerous multi-billion dollar industries. Everybody has a book to sell, a movie to screen, a song to sing or a course to offer on the subject. There are workshops to take, therapy sessions to experience and training to undergo to keep things working smoothly. And if all that fails there are squadrons of hungry divorce lawyers and judges to make things come to end – happy or not.

Woody Allen has made dozens of movies exploring relationships and in the end his philosophy can be summed up with the prophetic words, “Relationships are painful and they all end too quickly.” The classic sci-fi novel, 1984, has as its main premise the idea that in the future there would be no need for what we now call relationships, just a government sponsored pairing up system to preserve the natural order of things. And even in that society, the books main characters sneak off to have some good old fashioned relationship fun, which ultimately gets them in trouble with Big Brother.

Why all the fuss? What drives people to behave in this most unseemly and dangerous manner just to hold hands with someone and cuddle up on a cold night? For, the answer to that question, look to all the books, songs, movies, and poems about love.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Relationships provides detailed information about online relationships, long distance relationships, relationship advice, relationship problems, relationship quizzes, interracial relationships, and more. For more information go to Relationships and/or visit its sister site at Troubled Teens Web for related information.

Finding Your Soul Mate or Soul Friend

We meet someone for a reason, for a season . . . or for life.

Are you, or perhaps someone you know living a life that is not complete, not totally fulfilling, not quite whole?

Henry David Thoreau said, "Most people lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to their graves with the song still in their heart."

What did he mean by that and how does that apply to you?

It's your destiny, fate and spiritual right to have a life that is complete, whole, satisfying, and fulfilled. And, in fact it is the will of the Supreme Being, your creator, that you have this.

You are loved so much by your Creator, that He only wants and desires the very best for you.

One area we'd like to discuss today is marriage. Being married to the right partner can make life very rewarding and fulfilling.

You can have all the success in the world, but if you have a wrong or bad marriage, then you will never be completely whole or completely fulfilled.

It is our innate essence of being to be creators ourselves. Most of us are happiest and feel satisfied when we are creating and enjoying the fruits of our efforts.

Marriage is a creation. It is a process of continually creating a life for yourself, your spouse and family.

Now, I'm sure you have heard of the term "soulmate." In the true definition of the word, there is a created spiritual essence of being that has split into two.

It's like the original story, Adam was created and given all he could ever want in life. He had it all folks, never had to work, had everything supplied to him, yet he wasn't fulfilled.

He wasn't complete, he wasn't able to fully develop the love that was in his heart, nor share it with a kindred spirit.

So out of the one being, there was a split, a division, and Adam then had a soulmate as a companion. It was only then that he was able to find completeness & wholeness on earth.

You may or may not believe that there are soulmates. Or, that there was a being that has split and the two divisions are on earth seeking to find each other and become complete again. (Although polls have indicated that 80% of people do believe they have a soulmate just for them).

But even still, what you cannot deny is that there are a ton of marriages out there where the folks in them are miserable.

And a very good reason why is, because these folks are involved with the wrong partner.

There are a lot of really good marriages out there also, and many of the folks in those marriages believe that their partner was and is, God's chosen mate for them.

And, doesn't that really make sense......that if God created you and loves you more than anything, don't you think he would also have made provision for your becoming complete
and whole and fulfilled in marriage?

Let's look at this in another way. We know that in nature, cells are also miniature energy fields and that they do split or divide.

Mitosis, or the splitting of cells, is how multi-celled organisms grow.

Similar to that analogy is the energy field of a being that splits, in order to grow. However, these two divisions after splitting; constantly are striving to re-unite with each other.

The division happens so that each side can grow, spiritually, mentally, & physically. Yet those two beings will not become fully complete and fulfilled until they re-unite with each other.

But let's also throw a little hooker in here. Besides your one true soulmate, there are also a myriad of other soul friends.

These soul friends are in your life to also help you grow, learn lessons and partner with you for mutual benefit. But soul friends, while they can and very often do become marriage partners, are not the one true partner that God has chosen for you.

So many people get married to the wrong person, simply because they do not understand what soulmates are and why they exist. And then find themselves in marriages that are just not a happening thing.

People mostly have poor marriages because they simply got involved with the wrong person, or they got involved with a soul friend and did not recognize that soul friends are not necessarily forever nor are they God's chosen mate for life.

It is not wrong to be married to a soul friend, however it is not the best that God has planned for you and neither can you or your spouse attain that completeness, fulfillment and happiness that could be there if you were partnered with your soulmate.

Adam would not have been able to achieve the completeness if he had married Jane, instead of Eve. He would have known in his heart that there was something he was missing, something more.....something that was lacking in his very essence, and something that could not be found in Jane as opposed to Eve.

You may be married to a soul friend, instead of your soulmate. If this is the case, then you will not find complete fulfillment and happiness in your marriage relationship.... you will find yourself constantly seeking outside the relationship for that fulfillment, happiness and completeness.....searching for a reunion with your true soulmate, which is also a part of yourself.

Here's a little hint: If you are with your soul friend and your relationships are not going well, or have gone flat, then perhaps this is nature's way of telling you to go on and find that soulmate.

Perhaps you and your partner have learned the life lessons you were brought together to learn, and now it's time for both of you to evolve into a higher and more fulfilling state of being.

If you are in a relationship with your known soulmate and things are not going well, or have gone flat, then it's natures way of telling you that you need to bring your relationship up to a higher energy and spiritual level.

It is said that every pot has it's lid. A pot with a wrong fitting lid is not what it could be, nor will it ever be able to be what it could be.

Find the right lid that fits your pot and all the steam will stay inside instead of escaping seeking expression externally to the relationship.

http://www.online-dating-review.com/soulmate.htm

Making Your Relationship Work

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here
are your tools:

ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or
DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things
for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and
it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to
“hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

About The Author:
This article provided courtesy of
http://www.christian-singles-meet.com

How To Keep Your Love Alive

Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the original closeness that existed in a relationship starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and the willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to constantly reconnect. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep the love alive.

Step 1: Give up dead routines

After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what their partner is feeling, that it doesn’t matter if they come late for a date, don’t look as good as they used to, or decide to spend more and more time out with friends. However, it is crucial to realize that there are many small ways in which we sabotage relationships. Unless two people feel cared for and valued by one another, it is easy for the feelings of love to fade away.

Break into routines. Snap out of ruts. Take time to plan exciting, romantic, delicious times to spend together. Even if it’s just for a little while. Dedicate time to the relationship that nothing can interrupt. This is a sacred time for the two of you, and during it do what makes both of you feel most fulfilled.

Step 2: Take Charge of How You Perceive Your Partner Each Day

The good feelings between partners are often heightened by the way in which they view one another. Do you view him as a hero? Someone you can look up to and respect? Or are you mostly dwelling upon his/her faults? After a relationship has gone on for a while it is easy to begin to view one another as ordinary. This is a sure-fire technique for putting out any fire that might exist. Remember, when you first fell in love, you only saw the best about that person and focused on how wonderful they were. If you want to keep the love alive, keep that going consciously.

Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings in. Read it from time to time. Dedicated a certain time each day to the relationship and what is possible between the two of you.

Exercise A – How You See Your Partner

Take some time and write down a description of how you see your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write this down without censoring your thoughts and feelings.

Then, write down how you saw him when you first met, and how you felt about him then. See how your feelings of closeness are affected by the way you are perceiving the person today. Realize that how you perceive a person is totally within your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is of no avail.

Consciously view your partner in a way that is similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this, and begin responding in kind.

Exercise B – Stop Pushing Him/Her Away

There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that push our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a great deal to short circuit it. Take a little while to write down ways in which you push him/her away. This is not to blame yourself, but to become aware of the times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but putting on the brakes.

Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you’ve pushed him away) and do the opposite. For example, rather than criticizing him in public, say nice things about him with friends. A few small actions can have huge effects. .

Step 2: Understanding Hidden Expectations

There is nothing that can cause us to disconnect from each other as much as expectations that have been unfulfilled. We all enter relationships with many kinds of expectations and dreams, some we are aware of, others not. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than our expectations which are not being met.

Take a moment to become aware of what you are expecting of your partner. Is it possible for him to fulfill these expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship? More often than not, it is our unfulfilled expectations, not the other person, which make us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, a crucial step is making sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you’re with. Also take time to see if anyone can fulfill them? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you are still carrying with you?

Exercise C –- Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams

Become aware off which expectations of yours your partner does meet. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find a way to feel grateful for what you are receiving? Sometimes just deciding that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow the love to re-ignite once again. Then, let him know that he’s making you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and to hear that they are meaningful to you.

Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner

When these steps are taken, you will not only be more connected, but you will be with your partner because there is no other place you want to be. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one of choice. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, of knowing they are the one’s we want to be with, is the culmination of the reconnecting and romance we’ve found.

Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write down and express the ways in which you wish to recommit to your partner, you can write down and express the aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this on an on-going basis, we not only keep the love and relationship fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with the person, what our part is in the relationship, and the joy and romance that is possible for us to have forever.

http://www.online-dating-review.com/love_alive.htm

4 Questions You Must Ask Before You Say "I Do"

"How do you know when you've met the right one?”

Almost everyone asks this question at some point in their lives; unfortunately, there are not too many who get a concrete answer. But if you're reading this article, then you're one of the lucky few.

Interestingly, the criteria for choosing a spouse can be boiled down to just four characteristics. If you can find somebody with all four then it's highly likely that you've found your life partner.

1) What is This Person's Core Values?

Before you decide to marry someone, make sure that they are fully committed to some kind of objective moral and ethical standard. Whether we realize it or not, everyone has some kind of core value that is central to their personality. And when push comes to shove, that value is going to be the most important thing in the world to that person.

For example: Jerry's core value is adventure. When Jerry starts to date Diana, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room. He goes there every night, holds people's hands, calms them down. And Diana's thinking to herself that Jerry must have a heart of gold if this is how he's spending his spare time. Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold. But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it's exciting. So right now,

Jerry's adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that could change. Jerry might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Diana may find unpleasant, dangerous, or even unethical.

However, if Jerry's core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Diana will be a very lucky woman if she marries him.

So how do you get to know the true Jerry? Surprisingly, it's not that difficult. No matter what a person's core value is, you will see him or her sacrificing for it on a daily basis. If Jerry's core value is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase. If Diana follows him carefully, she'll see that he places adventure above other important things on his list of priorities.

But if Jerry's core value is goodness, then Diana will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind. If the waiter mixes up his order, he'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway. He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work because he drove a little old lady home with her groceries. If Diana follows him carefully, then she'll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other people.

So look for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.

2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?

Number two is obvious: You want to marry someone who is going to take care of you and treat you well. How to figure it out?

Simple. Spend time with this person, and pay attention to how they treat others whom they don't necessarily care about because they're not trying to charm them. Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them? Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out people who don't deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses? Do they tend to drive aggressively, as if there's no one else on the road?

Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers - because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Most people don't guard themselves so carefully that they'll hide how they treat others. So watch them, and you'll know how they're going to treat you after you're married.

3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?

In other words, make sure that you understand each other. This may seem obvious, but it's not. Sometimes you can see a couple in a fight and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight. And then, at the end of round 16, it turns out that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding: “Oh, I thought you meant that…That's not what you meant? Oh, then we agree.”

Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it's happening constantly then it's not a good sign because that may not change. If you're constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.

4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?

Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage. You cannot marry someone if you aren't physically attracted to them. And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Very often, a woman may not feel attracted to a man initially, but after she gets to know him she finds him much more attractive than before.

A word of caution: Although physical attraction is essential, you can't base a marriage on physicality. Whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional and spiritual level.

The rule is - make sure that physical attraction is there, but don't get swept away by it. The other three characteristics are just as important, if not more so.

So there you have it. The next time you date someone, put what you've learned here into practice. It'll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.

About The Author

David LeVine

Your search is ending! Now there is no excuse to put off meeting – and winning – your own soul mate. No more miserable dates. Learn the 10 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person so you'll find the right one: http://www.warmwisdompress.com/dating/

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What to Look for in the Person You Marry

Keely is 30 and has been married for about 6 months. Last time we talked, she was expressing dissatisfaction with the man she'd married. They had disagreements over political issues that were influencing where they shopped, where he worked, and what TV shows they watched. She was wondering if she should've gotten married at all.

"Why did you marry him?" I asked her, and there was a long silence. Finally, "Because I was in love with him?" she replied, and it came out as a question. "I guess I never thought about that," she added.

Because I coach people, I hear the many different reasons why people marry the people they do, but it often comes out in terms of unmet expectations. When we aren't clear about what we want out of marriage, regardless of the person
involved, and don't check things our beforehand, it can lead to heartbreak.

What we expect from marriage is deeply ingrained is us, from our families of origin, and from our culture. You may come from a background that assumes the man will be the provider, and the woman will take care of the house, and both spouses will take an active part in child-rearing -- not just wiping noses, but training, values and character development. If you marry someone whose expectations are the same, things will go fairly smoothly.

But what if you're a man with the above expectations, who marries a woman who comes from a family where the women all had active and successful careers, and also took major responsibility for the upbringing of the children, wanting only for the man to provide his portion of their upkeep, but to stay out of the training?

There are many expectations we have about marriage, and we might as well call them emotional needs, because if they aren't met we aren't going to be very happy. It can destroy the love we initially had for the person. The better you can define these assumed needs to yourself, and to the person you're considering marrying, the better the chances of finding someone who feels the same way.

Vocabulary is very important here. I hear many men, for instance, saying they want "companionship." Fred said that in his second wife he wanted "companionship," and he fell in love with Lisa. Lisa wanted companionship too. The trouble arose when it turned out companionship meant to Lisa someone to talk to, share ideas, feelings and thoughts with, and relate closely intellectually and emotionally, with lots of open conversation, and to Fred, it meant recreational
companionship. He wanted someone to sail, bike ride and play tennis with him, and without a lot of talking. Lisa and Fred both wanted someone they could hang out with, but the nature of that hanging out was very different, and, ultimately unbridgeable.

In the meantime, there can be those stalemate fights that turn into imbroglios, where the man yells at the woman, "But I want companionship (play golf with me)" and the woman yells back, "But I'm giving you companionship. (I love to talk to you)" Or she says, "I wanted you to help raise the children" (teach them) and he replies, "Well I earn all the money, don't I?"

Some of things we expect from a marriage include: recreational companionship, intellectual companionship, physical affection, verbal affection, esteem, admiration,
respect, financial support, domestic support, intense emotional relating (which is also called "companionship"), sexual fulfillment, working toward idealistic goals (such as political activism), fidelity, one who prefers to lead or to be led, good looks, athletic ability, a genetic parent for your children, and so forth. Define as well how you want these manifested. Admiration can be silent or vocalized. Affection can be physical or verbal.

As you read these, if you ASSUME that one or more of them is what everyone wants, you particularly need to pay attention, because in actuality it's amazing what people do want and expect that other people don't.

It's important to know what you want, and then to observe the person you're considering marrying. Tom, for instance, primarily wanted a homemaker and recreational playmate from a wife. Middle-aged, he fell in love with a woman in her mid-30s who had never been married. This should have been a red-flag that domestic life probably wasn't what she was interested in. Once married, she became ardently interested in a career, since he provided her the opportunity to get further education, and as she turned her focus there, all hopes of recreational companionship for Tom vanished. She, on the other hand, had expected emotionally oriented conversation from him (openness), and joint accelerating career and financial goals. To him, "she never cooked or cleaned house." To her, "he just wanted to play."

It is devastating when we love someone and find out too late they aren't interested in the same things. It is hard to trade off meeting needs that really aren't felt and enjoyed, and accommodation isn't always possible, i.e., you either are faithful or you aren't, you either want kids or you don't. If you want financial support from a man, it's best to find one who really loves to make money. If you want physical affection from a woman, it's best to find one who can't keep her hands off you. These things can't be faked, but, sometimes, when falling in love, we fool ourselves and therefore fool the other person.

Issues can become clouded during courtship, especially when there is sex too soon. Physical intimacy causes those wonderful chemicals that cloud our thinking, and start the bonding process. We can start to need and want a person who ultimately may not be able to meet our marital needs.

Take some time to envision carefully what you want marriage to look like. Observe the person you have in mind in different situations. For instance, Tom might have noticed, if he hadn't been so "in love," that his partner didn't know how to cook and was never at home. She, on the other hand, might have noticed most of his time and enthusiasm went into his recreation, and that he was content with his job and financial situation the way they were.

Nothing is insurmountable, but you increase your chances by being mindful at the outset. Couples survive the infertility of one when they both wanted children, and a
spouse can learn to verbalize, or make physical, the affection they feel, if they want to please, but the couch potato and amateur athlete who marry will can't accommodate, and the career-driven women won't be happy baking bread and being available for tennis games.

http://www.online-dating-review.com/marrying.htm

Add More Romance to Your Life

Romance is something that belongs in life. It has always been and will always be, as long as humans exist. Love is something created deep inside of us, almost as an instinct that follows us wherever we go. Sometimes we need a little help – not so much with learning what it is, but with how to show and share it so to use it the right way in your life daily.

Sometimes you need some romantic and affection knowledge when you go on a date and you really want to create a romantic atmosphere. If you're married there can be times when you need to spice things up with a little more glamour and charm than normal and do the things which created the romantic atmosphere and lovely feelings you experienced on your honeymoon.

Many great thinkers have emphazised that the area of devotion and legend are the most important in our lives. In many religions, the passion concept is the main pillar. So where can you go to achieve knowledge or advice regarding romantic and loving issues?

If you go online you can find a lot of romantic and erotic tips targeted towards lovers who want to add more idyllic intimacy in their relationships. If your loving relationship or marriage halts, there are also many good resources on the internet which can help you strengthen it.

There are also a lot of books on enchantment and glamorous issues, simply because they seem to be everlasting objects of people’s concern. Buy recommended books with adulation and romantic tips that have helped others in their relationships.

You can also receive romantic and amorous tips over the phone. This seems a little weird and uncommon but there are so called personal counselling lines out there. By getting in contact with persons with great experience of romantic issues, you can find good romantic advice whenever you feel you need it.

Terje Brooks Ellingsen is a writer and internet publisher. He runs the website 1st-Self_Improvement.net.

Terje is a Sociologist who enjoys contributing to the personal growth and happiness of others. He tries to accomplish this by writing about self improvement issues from his own experience and knowledge. For example, personal counselling regarding career issues as well as marriage and other relational issues.

http://www.online-dating-review.com/more_romance.htm

What Is Perfect Love?

Today, sitting in my pink armchair, reading about how a world-famous medium was able to communicate with the spirit world and our physical world and end the grief of those who had been left behind, I became even more aware of how love is the central theme of the universe itself. This was what the departed passed on to those who remained on earth. Their major regret was that they had not loved or expressed their love when they were alive.

When Jesus said that "he who loves me shall not perish" what did he mean?

Since death is not real, the Soul being eternal, what does he mean? I like to imagine that he means the end of the process of suffering unlovingness. For to be unloved is a kind of death.

Once a soul gets that it is the Allness, lovingness happens spontaneously, because the Beloved is expressing Itself.

The Light and Love are one and the same. In fact, it is the Light that is loving through us when we feel love.

Human love is conditioned by want. The soul, mistaking itself for the ego, the mind, and the body, seeks to possess and to own the object of desire. It seeks almost to want to absorb it into itself so that it can be greater. In romantic love, for example, the lover seeks approval, safety, and control. Wealth and beauty and charm increase the attributes of the lover because the ego of the other wants it for itself.

Parental love is purer, although now there is a desire for the child to exemplify the qualities and values of the parent.

Animal love for its owner is almost completely spontaneous.

When a dog delights in his master's presence, or when cat purrs at the touch of your hand, this is probably as pure a love you can find in everyday life. There is no cunning in this love, no projection of future gain, no thought about manipulating the lover. The love is spontaneous, pure, and a simple appreciation of the moment.

Finally, the ultimate love is when one can love for the other what the other wants for him or herself. This now starts to blend into transcendental love, and we begin to love others the way I imagine God loves us. Love for its own sake, because that is who we are and because the grace in the other is so obvious to us.

I agree with Socrates who says, "It is love alone that unites the soul with God."

St. Teresa said, "What matters is not to think much but to love much."

In the words of the famous philosopher and the cherished saint, we find a great mystery revealed.

Here we touch upon the entire fabric of life, which is, in my opinion, a spiritual journey. Beyond what we think about life, there is the way of the heart, which is spontaneous and pure before it becomes sullied with too much analysis.

What the heart wants is to return Home to the arms of the Beloved. It does this by feeling what the Beloved feels, unconditional loving.

Allow me to finish these reflections with a quote from the Brihad-Aranyaka Upanishad: It summarizes most eloquently what I have been fumbling to say in this brief essay.

“It is not for the love of a husband that a husband is dear; but for the love of the Soul in the husband that is dear.

“It is not for the love of a wife that a wife is dear; but for the love of the Soul in the wife that is dear.

“It is not for the love of children that children are dear; but for the love of the Soul in children that is dear.

“It is not for the love of all that all is dear; but for the love of the Soul in all that is dear.”

The book of life, I contend, is the story of Light and Love. It is a love story between the unmanifest and the manifest; a story about the relationship between God and Soul. And when the Soul reciprocates to the love of the Divine, the earth journey concludes with a contented sigh.

Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life.
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