Saturday, May 19, 2007

Internet Dating Scams: Don't Be a Victim

The growing popularity of online dating coupled by the anonymity has led to an increase in Internet dating scams. It is terrible enough to rip an already lonely heart - but to rip the heart as well as owner’s bank account? Talk of extreme brutality, and yes, heartlessness.

Internet dating scams come in various forms and the perpetrators are always creating new ones. An obvious one is the scam dating site. This is simply a fly-by-night operation, out to sell as many memberships as possible and then disappear without offering service.

Such a scam site will almost certainly cost far less than a typical dating site, while promising to deliver similar offer better service. Well, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

A variation of scam dating sites is the pornographic site disguised as a dating site or, more often, an adult dating site. Usually, such a site will use images of attractive “members” to lure you in.

Some knowledgeable prostitutes have discovered that it is more profitable - and much safer – to post a profile on an adult dating site than to work the streets. Better still for the prostitute, she (and in some cases he) has a global market.

International Internet Dating Scams
But Internet dating scams begin to get more complex when they go international. The most common one is Russian mail-order bride scam. This one targets people from first world countries (the USA being prime target).

Most Russian Internet dating scams start with the man being contacted by an attractive young woman. Often, but not always, the man is much older than the woman. The scammer is counting on such a man being gullible due to being flattered by the thought of a young attractive woman showing interest in him.

After a few emails, the woman claims to be in love with the man, and wants to join him in his country. She requests money for a passport, visa, air ticket and traveling expenses (at the same time or in stages). She suggests wire money transfer or other irreversible means of sending out money.

Once the man sends the money, two things may happen. The woman might simply disappear. Or there might be a family “tragedy” for which she needs extra cash from the hapless man. She might also claim to be held an airport happen for various reasons. The objective is to milk as much money as possible out of the poor guy.

This type of scam is typically carried out by Russian men or syndicates who hire women (for very minimal fees) to use there profiles and pick the money up for them.

Unfortunately, this scam is also helped by attitudes and stereotypes. The perception of Russian women as desperate to leave their country is one example. So is the assumption that everybody wants to immigrate to the west, especially the USA.

Nigerian Internet Dating Scams
There is also the Nigerian (and lately Ghanaian) scam. Nigerian scams are a little harder to detect in that most con-artists are usually well-learned people who usually do their homework; and they can be unusually patient.

You get contacted by a “US citizen” working in foreign country. Once the contact is and some level of trust established, the scam artist asks you to cash money orders for him/her. The money orders are fraudulent and you are left to pay your bank of the amounts paid.

Sometimes the scammer is not after money. They are after shipping help, for goods bought with stolen credit cards.

Most scams start at Internet chat rooms or free dating sites. Why? Because the scam artist wants to scam as many people as possible without spending money. Also, pay sites require the use a credit card, which can be traced back to the owner.

Protecting Yourself
How do you protect yourself from these or other types of Internet scams? There are no guarantees, just as you don’t have a guarantee of not getting in an accident because you are a careful driver. But you can minimize the risk, or become a hard target (scammers are lazy people and will go for the easiest target).

1. For starters, sign up with a reputable dating site. A paid site is always safer as one is required to use a credit card, which can be traced back to the owner. Of course there is the possibility of someone using a stolen credit card, but the risk is minimal compared to a free site or chat room.

2. Beware of someone who claims to fall in love with you after just a few emails. Start by being skeptical.

3. Never send money to a stranger in another country. Heck, never send money to a stranger in your own country (duh!).

4. Do not give out personal details such as home address, phone number, bank account, real email, or credit card number. Do not even give out your real name until you are sure the person is for real, and certainly not after two or three emails.

5. Do not deposit a money order from your “date” in your bank account. If you do, wait a couple of weeks to make sure it’s not counterfeit. Better still, wait for the money order to clear before forwarding the money.

6. Ask for more than one photograph. A scam artist from, say Nigeria, would usually have a difficult time faking more than one photograph. Also, ask lots of specific questions. If you sense discomfort or vagueness on the other end, cut the relationship.

7. Follow your guts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is.

Do not let bad apples stop you from finding love online. Many people have found happy, lasting relationships with local or foreign partners they met on the web. Just know that Internet dating scams are real, and keep alert for red flags.


About the authoer:

David Kamau is webmaster of a Dating Review Site. Now check out Top 10 Dating Sites and find the right one for you.


Seven Tips for Improving Your Relationship

What makes relationship last long? Why do some people seem to have happy and long-lasting relationships while others simply can’t seem to hold it together? Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others?

Maybe there is. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. Dates: Dating does not have to end simply because the couple is married or has been together long. Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

2. Refresh: Take time to look back. Refresh your memories and share your most memorable moments. Take a look at what brought you together. Pull out those old pictures in happy moments and look at them together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

3. Fun: Couples tend to have fun on dates, and get too serious once married. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

4. Let Go: No need to hold on to the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget”. Take them as lessons about what needs to be improved, or how to handle things better next time. Then move on. Be the first to apologize and make up.

5. Space: Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

6. Disagree: Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues. You are still two different people, each with a brain of their own and an opinion. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t have to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

7. Reminiscences: Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

So don’t wish for the “good old days”. Make them happen. You may be a little older, but you can rekindle the embers into a nice, warm glow. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

http://e-datecentral.com/dating_advice/improve_relationship.htm

Finding Your Soul Mate with Online Matchmaking Services

Online matchmaking is hot. The continual growth in popularity of online matchmaking services has even some its harshest critics take a step back and say, "Well, looks like it works after all."

Indeed, the advantages of online matchmaking over other tried-and-not-so-true methods of meeting a mate, such as singles bars, blind dates, supermarkets and so on are undeniable and varied. These advantages include:

1. Matching: On many matchmaking sites you answer questions and specify what you are looking for in a mate. You can be very specific as to what you like and dislike, what you must have and what you cannot stand, and anything in between.

2. Convenience: You can search and communicate with prospective candidates at any time of the day or night.

3. Numbers: There are millions of people from whom to choose, of different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, religions and geographical locations.

4. Interacting: While some people can say the right thing at the right time, some of us get the right ideas long after the fact. In online matchmaking, you have all the time to create opening lines or think up appropriate responses.

Exchanging email, instant/text messages, chatting, and phone calls help further in finding the right match as well as weeding out those who are incompatible to you or with whom you are uncomfortable.

5. Put Your Best Foot Forward: In online matchmaking you can broadcast your best talents and qualities by creating a profile that touches on all the interesting elements that make the real you.

6. Privacy: Online matchmaking services provide easy-to-use features as well as an environment that lets you communicate while maintaining your anonymity. You can remain anonymous until you are ready to reveal more about yourself to the right person.

You also get to check out any number of potential mates without their ever knowing you took a peek.

7. Familiarity: You get to "know" the people who seem promising before meeting in person. This eliminates the awkwardness of first introductions. You also have an idea of what your prospective mate looks like, as you will have exchanged photos.

8. Minimizing risk: Meeting strangers in bars, clubs and other similar places carries an element of risk. Though risk cannot be entirely eliminated in online matchmaking you can maintain safety with caution and commonsense.
The fact that you have been communicating with the person for some time minimizes risk as you already know the person to a certain extent.

All in all, online matchmaking services offer many advantages over other dating methods. A reputable service can offer you a way to meet lots of compatible singles who are also looking for serious partners. Reputable matchmaking sites offer free trials.

About the author :

David Kamau is webmaster of http://www.e-datecentral.com which reviews dating sites. To find reputable Christian online dating sites go to: http://e-datecentral.com/personals/christian.htm

Writing an Online Dating Profile: Common Pitfalls to Avoid

When writing an online dating profile, there pitfalls that you should avoid as they may well cost you love of your life. Some common pitfalls include:

1. Laundry List:
Yes, complex beings we are, with wide and varied interests. But you don't need to put each and every one of them in your profile. Four to five activities that mean most to you and are integral to your life suffice.

2. Shopping List:
This is related to 1 above, only that you make a long list of demands that your prospect must have or meet. Some online dating profile lists of demands simply cannot be met by someone from planet earth. Be realistic.

3. Lies:
The biggest complaint about online dating is about all the liars out there. People lie about their marital status, age, profession, income and so on. These lies eventually catch up with them, inflicting deep wounds and even lifetime scars on either or both parties. Be honest.

2. TMI (Too Much Information):
Don't spill every little detail about yourself in your ad.

First, if you lay everything out on the table right away, you'll have a hard time finding things to talk about later.

Second, a little mystery in a relationship helps strengthen the interest in both parties. Take your time in finding out more about each other.

3. Bragging:
Nobody likes a show-off. But how, you might ask, do you write positively about yourself without sounding arrogant? Well, be objective as opposed to being subjective. Avoid self-aggrandizing commentaries like, "I look great", "I am successful", "I have a great sense of humor", and so on.

4. Clichés and Other Overused Phrases:
Guess what? Almost everyone enjoys "fine dining" and "long walks on a moonlit beach". You're not inviting a response when you list things like this. Using these phrases will make you seem unimaginative, if not outright boring. Put some thought into what you really enjoy doing and list things that make you stand out from the crowd.

5. Loser Words and Phrases:
Avoid using any of the following words or phrases in your personal profile:

a) "I'm tired of being alone" - This paints you as desperate and can set you up for responses by manipulative people.

b) "If you want more info, ask" - The whole response/reply process assumes this. Adding this line indicates laziness on your part to think about the content of your ad.

c) "I'm honest" - Even the most compulsive of liars won't admit to being one, so there's really no point in saying this.

d) "I'm no good at these things" - Few people consider themselves particularly gifted in writing personal ads. Like a) above, this reads like unmotivated filler text.

e) "I can't believe I'm doing this." Well, guess what, you are! Get real.

6. Shouting:

Typing in all capital letters is not only hard on the eyes, but also annoying to most readers. Also, on the Internet this is considered shouting. DON'T SHOUT! (See what I'm saying?).

7. Sexual Innuendo:
Save the sex talk for later communication, when you and your date become more comfortable with each other. What you intend as a cute remark may inadvertently be taken the wrong way.

8. Berating Former Relationships or Partners:
Almost everybody has gone through a relationship that just didn't work out (I doubt there's anybody who hasn't). Don't whine about what you didn't get out of your last relationship. This is not the time or place to vent.

9. Unfamiliar Words:
Don't try to show off vocabulary you do not have. The easier to read your personal profile is the better. Conversation-style writing that brings out your personality works best.

10. Negativity:
You want to come across positively. Talk about your positive aspects and traits. Leave the negative behind.

There you have ten common pitfalls to avoid when writing an online dating profile. And while you are at it, don't forget to check your spelling and grammar.


About the author :

David Kamau is webmaster of http://www.e-datecentral.com which reviews dating sites. To find reputable Christian online dating sites go to: http://e-datecentral.com/personals/christian.htm