Monday, November 12, 2007

Online Dating Mistakes

There are a lot of mistakes that online daters make when they try online dating. These examples below are some that you have to watch out for or remember never to do.

Template messages

Men are usually the ones who commit these. Don't send the same messages to everyone that you are trying to have a connection with in online dating sites. Women have an eye for them and may not take you seriously. Besides it's pretty obvious because you message will come out looking generic. Messages that don't have anything personal about them (commenting on how a woman looks in her photo for example) automatically give away your message's obviousness.

The "sex" part

Don't mention sex when you're still trying to establish contact. Messages that sell your capabilities in the sack are just plain pathetic. Online daters will probably categorize you among the losers who feel the need to describe their sexual aptitude just to get girls.

The conceited comment

Don't tell a woman that you're a "good-looking" guy. Women have varying standards of male beauty. Just post a photo and let them be the judge of that.

Emphasizing negative preferences

Another no-no. Don't put things like "no liars" or "no heartbreakers" and whatnots. You don't want to seem angry at the world. Most online daters are searching for fun, even if some of them were also hurt in the past. These lines suggest that you're still bitter to whoever that was that made you hate those traits. So don't capitalize them either. Try to have a fun and happy profile. Not like someone who carries a lot of emotional burden.

Flirt first!

Don't take things too fast! Be sure to flirt with a woman first and get to know her more via email before sharing your phone number or asking her to meet you. Online dating gives you the chance to flirt online, don't waste it.

Be flexible!

Don't put too many restrictions on your preferences. You shouldn't be picky when it comes to women. You may be excluding the women with the right personality by doing so. Try to be flexible when joining the dating game. It much more fun that way.

Don't mention income!

Don't put how much money you make on your profile! Don't be so shallow as to base your interest on a person's economic status. Putting your income on your profile will either scare away women who are reading it or make them too uncomfortable to answer the messages you send them. Online dating is such a unique experience. But just because it is so, it doesn't mean you can take it for granted. Meeting women will be a whole lot easier yes but you still have to do it properly to succeed. So next time you post a profile or send women messages, stay away from these red flags.

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Dating After Divorce - Are You Over Your Ex

Beginning dating after a divorce can be difficult. Maybe you still care for your ex or are even hoping to get back together with him or her. Or, you may consider your divorce to be a positive situation, but you still aren't sure about dating again due to negative experiences that you had in previous relationships.

Before dating again, ask yourself if you are still pining for your ex and if so, consider whether a reconciliation is even possible or desirable. For example, what led to the breakup? Are these factors something that is within your control to fix, or is it your ex that must change? If it's your ex that needs behavior improvement, he or she has to decide to change and more importantly, follow through on the decision. Making major behavioral changes can be a long, bumpy road even for someone who is highly motivated.

Did you have a good relationship prior to the ending of the relationship? If not, then you may be looking to resurrect a dream rather than something based in reality. Remember both your positive and negative feelings about the relationship. Fight the tendency to only recall the good things and forget the bad. Take an objective view of the relationship and whether it's even worth putting energy into getting the ex back. If he or she is in a relationship with someone else, this is a great sign for you to move on no matter how wonderful the ex may be.

Before you begin dating after a divorce, make sure that you have explored your feelings about your past relationship and worked through them. You may be harboring hurt or anger that you need to release before you take those feelings out on an undeserving new partner. Think about the type of people that you have dated in the past. Do they have similar behavioral patterns such as disrespecting you or even abuse? You may need to date people who are not your “type” to break away from destructive relationship patterns. What about your behavioral patterns? You may be unconsciously attracting the type of mate that you don't want through your actions. It might be helpful to attend therapy to work through your feelings and get clear on what you really desire.

When you are able to view your relationship breakup as a learning experience and are ready to meet new potential partners with an open mind, you are ready to start dating after your divorce.


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