For love and money

Divorced Boston businessman in late 40s with beautiful home and lots of dough seeks single woman, mid to late 30s, for marriage and babies. Must be thin and possess classic good looks. He's a warm and cuddly guy who enjoys golf, sailing, and tennis. If interested, call his matchmaker at 212-987-1582.

That number belongs to Janis Spindel of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking, emphasis on the serious. She's a woman on a mission: To find a wife for a client she calls "Jeremy," a Boston man who has hired her for $100,000.

The concept is familiar to viewers who have seen reality shows such as "The Bachelor": Wealthy man gets help finding soul mate, roster of women compete for his affections. But in this case, the rich guy is paying a princely sum, sort of like a company using a headhunter to find its next CEO.

In the 15 years she has been in the matchmaking business, Spindel claims responsibility for 760 marriages and "massive thousands in committed relationships." She speaks in hyperbole and italics, and tends to repeat her words for dramatic effect. "I'm dealing with gorgeous men -- gorgeous! -- who have it all, from billionaires in Bel Air to humongous movers and shakers in Washington to awesome guys in Boston. The only piece missing is a woman, and that's when they come to me."

Be very clear: This isn't about hooking up. It's about settling down. Nothing drives Spindel crazier than being called a dating service. "I am a matchmaker," she says. "A man can get dates on his own. I'm a little too expensive for that. And I don't deal with trophy wives. I'm looking to match soul mates."

Despite having had thousands of clients, Spindel says the closest she's come to failure are two men who took a dozen introductions each before they finally met their matches. "I have had men who didn't get married but are living with a woman or have had mini-relationships but not marriage," she says. Besides, there's only so much even the best matchmaker can do: "I can bring the horse to water but I can't make him drink if he wants Diet Coke." Usually by the third to sixth introduction, she says, the man is in a committed relationship, a process that can take anywhere from three weeks to eight months.

There is little Spindel won't do for love. In restaurants she'll bolt after an attractive woman headed for the bathroom. She has nabbed strangers on the street, in lobbies, elevators, and bars. Her first question is always the same: Are you single?

"I leave no stone unturned in finding a marriage match. I'm very New York, very Type A, very 24/7, a multitasker. I'm relentless, tenacious, and obnoxious," says Spindel, whose words fire fast and clipped, with a hint of Jersey to them. She calls matchmaking "the second oldest profession" and says she is a firm believer in marriage. Her parents recently celebrated their 65th anniversary, and she met her own husband 25 years ago. "Marriage is wonderful if you're married to the right person," says Spindel,

she wrote a book about it: "Get Serious About Getting Married: 365 Proven Ways to Find Love in Less Than a Year." Though the book is for women, Spindel's business is geared toward men. "Women are too high maintenance," she says. "They're needy. They're nagging." As if on cue, her phone rings. She gets rid of the caller in a New York second.
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"See what I mean? That was a woman I just met for coffee this morning."

Women pay $1,000 for a 30-minute consultation with her, or $500 to see one of her assistants. She'll waive the fee if you bring in five "attractive" girlfriends for a group consult. The women then enter her database of potential wives.

Pretty in red and pink
This labor of love operates out of a sunny studio apartment on Manhattan's upper east side, next to another apartment she shares with her husband, Allen, who teaches physical education and martial arts. They have two daughters, ages 21 and 8.

The studio is done in pinks and reds. There are heart-shape candles, frames and paper weights, Cupid napkins and books with titles like "Being Committed" and "Make Up, Don't Break Up." On a recent afternoon, candles are lit, giving off a vanilla scent. Disco, her frisky Shih Tzu , sports tiny red-and-pink ribbons on her ears.

Spindel is meticulously turned out in a black-and-white Chanel pantsuit, her naturally curly hair freshly blown out. "Men like long, straight hair," she says. And she's constantly going on breakfast, lunch, and dinner "dates" with her clients, to see how they act. The man must pick the restaurant and pay for the meal, over which he will be grilled like the rib eye on the menu. Spindel also notes how the men treat her: their manners, their sophistication -- or lack thereof. "I need to know they're a man with a plan," she says.

Her own plan includes various levels, from a $25,000 "basic" package that Spindel says takes her "five minutes" to match from her database of women to a $100,000 "elite" plan consisting of an out-of-town client and a casting call that can involve hundreds of women. Spindel has already met with Jeremy several times and sent him to an image consultant, who took him to Bergdorf Goodman, where he dropped $10,000 on clothes.

Now Jeremy is ready for the next step: the match. The woman must be from the Boston or Providence areas. ("He lives in Boston in a sick, awesome house," Spindel says. "Totally awesome.") The bachelorette search, as she calls it, will take place April 13-15 in a conference room at the Boston Marriott Copley Place; only those who made appointments with Spindel beforehand will be allowed in

http://www.boston.com/yourlife/relationships/articles/2007/03/28/for_love_and_money/?page=1

Matchmaking and species marriage: A game-theory model of community assembly

heories developed to explain the processes that govern the assembly and composition of natural plant communities can be divided into two broad categories. Niche-based theories propose that coevolutionary changes among species lead to character divergence (displacement), which allows for coexistence by partitioning resources among species. In contrast, ecological-drift theories propose that species diversity results from a balance of migration, speciation, and extinction, with little microevolutionary change. We use a game-theory model to reconcile drift and niche perspectives by developing a theory of species "marriage." Initially, ecological drift may determine which species encounter each other in a competitive arena. Once species come into contact, historical niche development as a result of prior coevolutionary molding of competitive ability determines which species may coexist. The model shows that only species that display the well-known tradeoff between seed size and competitive ability as a result of past competitive histories comply with the requisite for mutual evolutionary stability. Mutual evolutionary stability of competitive ability tends to make reproductive outputs more similar between species, increasing the chances of ecological equilibrium, i.e., the coexistence of species competing for a single resource. Moreover, mutual evolutionary stability guarantees that such an ecological equilibrium will be stable. The species-marriage model predicts that two or more plant species will coexist indefinitely (i.e., "marry") when their difference in seed size, their densities, and the resource availability obey a specific quantitative relation. For example, when resource availability is high, married species should be characterized by a greater asymmetry in seed size than when resource availability is low. Thus, in the species-marriage model, competition can shape the detailed properties of communities without violating the postulates of ecological-drift theory.

http://www.pnas.org/cgi/content/abstract/100/4/1787