Mr. Right - that elusive creature that we all fantasize about , that we are all attracted to without even knowing, that we all project onto any man we start dating at the beginning…
You get the point, and I know you know what I mean. Most women have a long list of the things they're looking for in a man. Have you ever really examined your list, though? I mean really put it down on paper and looked at what you are looking for?
What you probably do not realize is that first of all, many of the things that influence your picture of Mr. Right are influences from outside yourself, such as society, past experience, physical attraction, even movies and books you have read.
Let’s use my “old” picture of Mr. Right. He was a total bad boy, with long hair, tall, handsome in a rough kind of way, the picture of masculine “power” and prowess. Of course, he also had to be WILDLY in love with me, read and write poetry, be willing to defend me at the drop of a hat (but never go to jail for fighting or anything like that) and be able to put up with my mother.
Ok - well, let’s look at that. That’s what, like roughly, I don’t know, .5% of single men? And then of course, I had a daughter, so he would have to want to have a step-child, and live in my rural bumpkin area as well… So, are you all seeing the problem here? Its easy, when you put it that way, right? Well, its not so easy when you never stop to think about what you want, why you want it and how easy or hard is that going to be to GET.
So many things about my picture of Mr. Right were based on attraction. Now, what I have learned over the years is that men and women see attraction in totally different lights. Men are attracted to a woman from the outset, and that attraction is based on physical traits. Women, however, maybe attracted to someone initially, but attraction for women is very much a psychological thing. Women GROW attracted to a man as they get to know him.
So if I scratch the items based on attraction from my list, what do I have? Wildly in love with me, read and write poetry, defend me and put up with my mother. Ok - read and write poetry? How important is that REALLY? How about settling for knowing where the Hallmark store is? And defend me at the drop of a hat? Ok, ok, what I really wanted was “security”, and security comes from knowing that your partner is there to help you and defend you if NEEDED, but also knowing that he is smart enough and obsessive enough to start a bar fight when another guy looks at you. So let’s scratch that one.
Wildly in love with me? Ok, yes, I need that, but I do not need midnight serenades or tattoos, so we can modify that one a bit. And how about putting up with my mother? Well, that one I have to keep.
So - I changed my picture of Mr. Right a bit, into Mr. “Close Enough”. And guess what I found? HIM. That’s right, ladies, I hit the jackpot when I relaxed my unattainable goals a bit. So what is Mr. Close Enough? Wildly in love with me - yep. Married me in fact. Faithful, strong, committed to our marriage and our relationship just as much as I am. Puts up with my mother, even! Does he write poetry? No, but he DOES know where the Hallmark store is, and he even does dishes. Is he a long haired bad-boy? Not in the least - not even a tattoo or an earring anywhere on his body. But it turns out that Mr. Close Enough is actually Mr. Right in the real world.
http://www.articlejoe.com/Article/Time-to-Check-Out-Mr---Close-Enough-/35878
