When choosing their mate, many women love to do a careful observation of all her suitors first. This is one of the secrets which I have discovered not too long ago. Here's a simple example. My partner and myself come from the same sports teams. Months ago both the women's and the men's teams decided to come together to organize a fund raising activity for the teams. I had a very pretty team-mate who volunteered to join the committee and it was a known fact that many guys in the team were already interested in her. Thus during the meetings whenever she voiced out her opinions, many guys would start to give her support by making a lot of positive and supportive comments. All that they were doing were trying to get her attention and to please her.
Now, this girl is already attached. Who do you think she has chosen and win over her heart? Well, the amazing thing was she had chosen one of the guys (in that committee) and he was the one who never talked much or gave any comments during the meetings! He had a quiet nature and did not really like to 'perform' during occasions like this. And because of this, he tends to 'stand out' from the crowd and catch her attention instead!
Does this mean you have to do extraordinary things and stand out from the crowd to win over her heart? No. You just have to know that many women do make careful observation of the people around them. What is most important is that you preserve your individuality and be yourself whenever you have a chance of being with the woman you love.
The lesson to learn here are these. Men and women have a different thought process when it comes to solving problems. While both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women. For men a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is quickest and most efficient. Women on the other hand see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women may feel closer to their partner, even if the problem still exists, if she feels that the resolution process drew them closer together. Understanding that women and men view the problem solving process differently will help a relationship to prosper.
Sensitivity is another area where men and women differ. Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men. This heightened sensitivity results in women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman's sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic. However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based solely on logic and not take feelings and emotions into consideration. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because the woman assumes that the man intentionally tried to hurt their feelings if they make a decision that has this effect while the man may grow frustrated if he believes the woman made an irrational decision. Realizing that this difference exists will help a couple go get beyond he said/she said.
Men and Women also differ in terms of memory. Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete such as a location or item. For example men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well. Women on the other hand have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they had similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when I women becomes angry with her partner, she is often able to recall other situations where he has angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized it can become a source of frustration in a relationship when the man and woman don't understand why their partner doesn't remember something that is so vivid to them.
Men and Women also often have different communication styles which can complicate a relationship. Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Women on the other hand enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing so helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion. They view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution. The he said/she said aspects of communications must be understood to avoid frustration and disappointment in a relationship.
Men and women have different styles when it comes to problem solving, sensitivity, memory and communication in a relationship. Careful observance and understanding of these differences is necessary for a relationship to happen and to flourish. Those who are masters in understanding why men/women behave, think and feel in the ways that they do are often the winners in dating and relationships. Understanding these simple principals will also go a long way to minimize difficulties in a relationship in regards to gender differences.
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