What makes relationship last long? Why do some people seem to have happy and long-lasting relationships while others simply can’t seem to hold it together? Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others?
Maybe there is. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.
1. Dates: Dating does not have to end simply because the couple is married or has been together long. Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.
2. Refresh: Take time to look back. Refresh your memories and share your most memorable moments. Take a look at what brought you together. Pull out those old pictures in happy moments and look at them together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)
3. Fun: Couples tend to have fun on dates, and get too serious once married. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.
4. Let Go: No need to hold on to the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget”. Take them as lessons about what needs to be improved, or how to handle things better next time. Then move on. Be the first to apologize and make up.
5. Space: Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.
6. Disagree: Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues. You are still two different people, each with a brain of their own and an opinion. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t have to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.
7. Reminiscences: Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.
So don’t wish for the “good old days”. Make them happen. You may be a little older, but you can rekindle the embers into a nice, warm glow. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.
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