So you finally got to meet this striking, charming lady and you thought that after so many dates and good times you shared, she’s now hooked on to you and its time to take things to the next level. Oh, sure you are funny, charming, and fun-loving but all she says is that you are “so nice and sweet”, “just like her pet dog”. Moreover you are such a “good friend” and a shoulder to cry on always. Chances are that she is relishing every moment of this and giggling with her pals behind your back. To add insult to your woes, the goodies you were hoping to savor aren’t forthcoming.
Just in case you haven’t realized, you got dumped to the friend zone, and your chances of getting out are very slim. Not every woman you meet is going to behave this way. However, if you don’t up the tempo and act like the lover you want her to see in you; you will always be “just friends”. To understand why you are now Mr. Nice guy and not her dashing Prince Charming, you need to know how and why you ended up in the friend trap. These are some of the main reasons why:
1). She’s just not into you: To cut the story short, you don’t rock her world. This is a bitter pill to swallow. You will have to accept the fact that if she doesn’t dig you, you had better quit wasting your time and move on. Attraction is the single most powerful force that will instantly pull streams of women towards your direction. If a woman doesn’t feel any attraction for you, there is very little you can do. You can either resign to the fact that you will always remain her friend, or get to learn the powerful techniques to transform yourself into an instant female magnet.
2). You are Way too Nice: If you make that fatal mistake of being too nice and letting her get away with anything, she will most likely treat you like her blue-eyed little brother or her favorite puppy dog. If she is pitiless, you will instantly turn into her doormat. And don’t think for one moment that you can buy her attention and impress her with flowers, expensive gifts and meals.
3). You’ve got nothing to offer: Sometimes, the odds may be harshly stacked against you if you haven’t got anything to deliver. You don’t need unlimited wads of cash, fast cars or power to win her over, but I have to admit that sometimes these things make a difference. Don’t worry yourself to death. There could be something in you, some hidden talent or special quality that would boost your appeal. If she can’t see anything exceptional in you, then you are destined to remain casual friends.
4). She’s got issues: If this is the case, then don’t be too hard on yourself. She was probably abused from past relationships so there is very little chance that you will become her knight in shining armor.
The Friend zone is not such a great place to be in. Fortunately, it is possible to get out of this dead-end situation. All you need is to put into practice these tips:
1). Get on with your life and be scarce: I’ve done this many times over and the outcome has a powerful and alluring effect on the girls. Simply try acting like you don’t need her. Pursue your hobbies, get on with your daily work and focus on your priorities. Quit following her around like a lovesick pup. But don’t overdo it. For some reason, the sudden shift in attention from her to you works wonders.
2). Pose a challenge: Once you make yourself not so readily available and she begins to seek out for you (believe me, women always do this), try to keep her off balance. Learn to be unpredictable. Try rousing her interest in you, while at the same time maintaining your distance and keeping her guessing all the time. Never ever let her know that she’s already got you. She should never get wind of your next course of action. If you can keep this going, kudos to you. The power of intrigue, suspense and unpredictability is like an aphrodisiac to women.
3). Date other women: She’s probably an exceptional beauty, a perfect 10, but make her realize she’s got competition. You can give her an honest compliment. Tell her that she is attractive and special, but this should not hold back your wandering eye. Don't limit yourself to one woman at the initial stages of dating. Your girl may also hit back and do a similar thing but this shouldn’t faze you. If she has a genuine interest in you, this will instantly drive her crazy for you.
4). Send mixed and conflicting signals: This takes the game of mystery and unpredictability to new heights. By now, you’re probably into her, but don’t let it appear obvious. Keep it very light. Learn to use simple gestures, and body-language tips to hint your desire. If you know how to use humor, you can never go wrong. This creates interesting conversation and will in the long run elevate you into a fabulous romantic prospect.
As a word of caution, many women are very smart, and will easily decipher any wily antics you try to conjure. You will need to be very shrewd and discreet. These few pointers should go a long way in helping you avoid the blind alley zone of the friend trap. Always remember, you don’t need to be too nice and over-accommodating to win her approval. And you don’t have to agree with her every word and deed. She needs you to take charge and be the lead man in her life.
The writer is a Systems Analyst and Internet marketer living and working in Nairobi. He frequently features reviews of top Matchmaking services, dating & seduction programs plus e-books in his online resource http://www.MegaOnlineGuide.com.
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