Feeling humiliated? Hopeless? Wretched? … WHY??? … ‘Because she has not accepted my proposal’!!! What can I do now! I am devastated…
The mere fear of getting rejected often puts a large chunk of men in shell and the very thought of getting closer to a lady and asking her for going out on a date paralyses them. These sorts of inhibitions sometimes become so ridiculous that you end up regretting for the rest of your life. But you have to overcome your crippling fear, otherwise how can you enjoy the thrill of meeting and dating beautiful women?
‘It will lower my self-esteem’ – this is one of the prime reasons why men are so much afraid of rejection. A woman saying ‘no’ to you in the past does not indicate that you are the most disgusting creature in the world. Maybe she was engaged or married, perhaps she was not exactly in a mood to date or flirt, possibly she was too conservative to say ‘yes’ to a man instantly - the causes are as varied as they can be.
Remember, the taste and preferences vary from women to women. It is not necessary that you will be equally appealing to each and every woman. Maybe you are not the dream man of a plain Jane, but in the eyes of another gorgeous woman, you can turn out to be the guy with irresistible charm. So, the best solution is to approach several women and try your luck. Who knows who are going to click with whom and how! And the more you open up and meet people, the more you rise above your apprehensions.
‘You spot a lady at a park or bar and request her to go out for a date right away and then she refuses your proposal’ – this is not true rejection. So, you are not supposed to lose heart over this. But, if someone rejects you after spending substantial amount of time, then it can be labeled as true rejection. These refusals can sometimes become really painful, as she has snubbed you after knowing you well enough. But, you have to learn to get over of these situations too. Some men have said that if one becomes able to cope with the ultimate rejection, then the fear of refusal goes away completely from their minds. For them, approaching a new woman everyday becomes cakewalk.
If you don’t want to get rebuffed by a woman, you must know how to kick-start a conservation with a perfect stranger. Sexually suggestive pickup lines make most women pissed off. Exuding honesty and genuineness through conversations is essential. Otherwise, you may find yourself lamenting.
If overcoming the fear of rejections becomes too difficult for you, engage yourself into some other activities like concentrate more on your career, start reading a best seller or listen to some good music for a whole day.
Opting for a dancing or acting class is not a bad idea.
Read on books that act as good motivational force.
Tell yourself again and again that you possess all the qualities that make a woman turned on. Always try to think positives about yourself, because no one is going to fall in love with you if you lack faith in yourself.
Though it may sound a bit bitter, the truth is that you won’t succeed in the game everyday. Failures are part and parcel of our lives. Instead of being bogged down by disappointments, you have to learn to accept the reality. Failures are the stepping-stones to success. You must take them in your stride and get a cue on how to handle analogous circumstances in future.
You should be comfortable in dealing with uncertainties of life. That can bring you the true excitement in the adventure of dating and help you to come in terms with the negative responses from a girl.
Always keep yourself enlivened by uttering certain trigger phrases like ‘It’s now or never’ and ‘let me face it’ before approaching a woman. Try to remember how you have faced the challenges boldly in the past.
Take a few deep breathes before initiating the action. Take each action as a trial and tell yourself, ‘If I pass, it’s great and even if I don’t, there’s nothing to worry about, because I am not giving up easily and going for more such tests in future’.
Keeping other options open is certainly a good idea. Don’t get too much emotionally involved with any particular incident. Branch out your interests and possibilities as far as possible. Make your social calendar busy by scheduling meetings at regular intervals, so that little time remains left for feeling bad and the chance of getting your gal is kept wide-open.
After a few unsuccessful attempts, take a break and go out for a vacation. Thus, when you come back, you can approach more girls with a refreshed spirit.
Never blame your appearance or your personality after hearing a ‘NO’ and try to turn each ‘NO’ to a ‘NEXT’. Learn the necessity of moving on in life. Carry on refining your way of approaching various women, until you strike the right chord.
Giving up completely is a big no-no, instead be determined to make love bloom in your life. Bouncing back after each failure is the way of life.
Never be too self-conscious. Always put forward your actual self. Wear a ‘don’t care’ attitude.
You are always free to get in touch with a good counselor.
Take baby steps in developing future relationships.
Learn to read the body languages of the person. That will give you an idea whether she is going to dump you in near future.
Psychotherapists often advise people to put themselves intentionally into certain situations where they are bound to get rejected. This process has its positive aftereffects.
Be mentally strong, try to build up your level of confidence and always keep the competitive spirit alive. Being rejected once does not mean the end of the world.
So, what have you learnt? Are you seeing the world with a changed perspective or still having butterflies in your stomach? Don’t be afraid, just spring into the action…
http://www.articlefair.com/Article/Tips-For-Overcoming-Fear-Of-Rejection/32103
