If you have ever experienced “The Break” mid-relationship, you have likely experienced some or all of the baggage that goes along with it. “The Break” seems to be a fairly modern innovation (as my mother has said in exasperation, “Either you are together or you aren’t!”) and usually occurs for one of four reasons: #1. One of the partners wants to split up permanently but is using the “break” as an easy way out; #2. A couple has been together for a long time, and one or both partners want(s) to experience other things for awhile. Often, this reason stems from a need to find “the one”; #3. One or both partner(s) is/are no longer interested in commitment and want(s) to have fun; #4. A couple is prone to arguing, splitting up, and getting back together, and their relationship is thus riddled with multiple “break” holes. [As reason #1 isn’t really a break, (because the initiating partner has no intention of reuniting with his/her ex) it shall not be taken into account in this discussion.]
In many ways, “The Break” is more difficult than “The Breakup” because a sense of temporality exists. A couple on a break intends to get back together at some point, and the knowledge of this prevents a true disconnection from occurring. In many cases, partners on a break will end up spending a lot of time together because they a) are unable to adapt to their new single status, and/or b) are afraid of losing each other. Sometimes, a couple may continue to be physically intimate with one another while on their break. In doing this, a break-taking couple is usually setting itself up for trouble.
When partners on a break continue to act like a couple, a sense of possession remains. As a result, the “other options” the partners are exploring are likely to trigger negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, betrayal, and insecurity. The ambiguity of “The Break” often leads to misinterpretation, worry, and anxiety. Unfortunately, these emotions may present themselves in destructive ways – through arguing, crying, extreme clinginess or passive aggression.
But this dysfunctionality may be inevitable. At its most basic, “The Break” is a period of time in which two partners are given the freedom to explore other options. But “The Break” requires a strange form of commitment on each partner’s part – not to let go of each other entirely. Thus, both partners are stuck in a kind of limbo. Whatever other relationships occur during the break must be temporary. Often, partners on a break find themselves having purely physical interactions with others because they are mentally wired for the short-term. In this way, “The Break” does not allow for true exploration outside of a relationship.
In conclusion: If you are craving meaningful experiences outside of your relationships, don’t attempt “The Break”. It is destined to fail. Tell your significant other that you want to experience other things, but in order to do that you have to let go entirely. In doing this, you are not eliminating your chances of getting back together with that person. If you are meant to be, you will. But by separating completely, you are giving yourself (and your partner) complete freedom to explore other people and situations in depth. On the other hand, if you are simply looking for a little short-term fun away from your partner, “The Break” may be the right thing for you.
http://www.a1articles.com/article_195456_39.html
