No, the real secret of "opening" women is, knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice, and even KNOWING WHAT TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT.
Does that make sense?
Also, the approach to opening her might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right?
Why?
Because the CONTEXT she is in and what you NOTICE about her is going to be different.
If she's studying, and you notice that she's having a hard time; thinking really hard, talking to herself outloud or just thinking "OUTLOUD" in her head, it would NOT make sense to walkup and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.
So, I will say it again. The most important thing, first and foremost, is NOT what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.
Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them?Is it a good way to first "open up" talking to a woman? If so,what should I compliment?
Ok. I'll repeat: it depends on the context, where she is,what she is doing, and what you NOTICE and can OBSERVE.
Look: whether it is opening her by using a compliment, or asking her a question about something, or making a comment about something she's doing or something going on in the environment,I will ask myself the same question, "What can I notice about this person that I can use to make a connection?"
Now, let's say I notice something about her that I DO find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:
1. NO sexual content in the compliments. That means I don't compliment on her great boobs, great legs, great butt, etc. No woman (no half-way SANE woman) wants a drooling lecher.
2. All compliments to be delivered with good eye contact (infact, ANY openers are delivered this way) with a smile on my face AND in my eyes ( I sort of make them twinkle a bit) and deliverd with a MATTER of fact voice tone.
This means I don't over do it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered, matter of fact, with no concern on my part whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.
It is NOT about her accepting or rejecting what I say. It is ONLY about me wanting to say what I have to say, and any response she has is OK WITH ME.
Really, this is about the sub-text. This means, you see, that there is the surface message, the actual words I say. Those can be important.
But the sub-text is the unspoken or implied message I am delivering about me and how I walk through the world; that take full responsibility for how I feel about myself, my situation, the events and circumstances in my life, and I don't need anyone to approve or validate my message.
Now, trust me. When you come from THAT place, and add in a touch of humor....
Almost Anything You Say Will Get A Good Response!
Notice something else. This is a great but different KIND of confidence. It's not the kind of confidence that say, loudly, "I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT".
It's more of a, "If I get what I want, that's fine and good, and if not, that's ok too. I'm having fun regardless".
Ok. Back to compliments then.
I prefer to compliment women on the following things:
1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy awoman who moves beautifully and/or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows, "I just wanted to tell....I think you have perfect.......posture. You just carry yourself beautifully."
Notice the ....... This indicates a pause in your speaking. I don't run everythingtogetherintoonesentencelikethis.
No. I take....my....time. I pause, right before I tell them what I am going to tell them, so they will get curious about what I am going to say, and therefore be more receptive.
The pauses in the music are as much a part of the music as the notes, to use a metaphor.
2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say, "I just wanted to tell you...I admire women with class and style...so I had to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE."
Note that this is what I call an IMPLIED compliment. I didn't' directly tell her I think SHE has class and style. I said I admire women with class and style, so I had to say "hi".That IMPLIES that I think she has class and style.
Why is this important?
Well, by implying the compliment, she has to use her imagination to interpret what you meant.
Imagination is an ACTIVE process, and so she doesn't resist the message, as she herself has to take an active hand in creating it!
Implied compliments are very useful in slipping past any resistance or skepticism to your message!
3. I will compliment on their "energy". I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into "energy" or "vibes". It doesn't matter if you believe in it or not-although I hope one day you will.
The important thing is, MOST women believe in it.
So if I notice a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say, "I just wanted to tell you.....I think you have..a beautiful....energy about you, and it just made me have to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE".
Ok. Another major way to meet women is to say something funny; make an observation or comment that is humorous, based on something you can observe.
Now, again, I can't give you a "one line fits all" example, because again, it's based on what you are observing in the actual situation. So you will have to observe her, asking, "What can I notice that I can use to make a connection?".
Next, ask yourself, "How can I phrase that in a clever, funny way that gets attention and makes her laugh?"
This takes some practice. But you can get good at it.
Now, again, I hesitate to give word for word examples, because it depends on what you observe.
Here Are Some Approaches I Do NOT Recommend:
1. Asking her the time, or for directions. It's trite, lame, and then where do you go from there? If you are terribly shy and can't even talk to women, ok, you can start here. But learn to do something else quickly.
2. Being insulting or in any way rude. I don't care what you might have heard. Insulting a woman is stupid. Any woman with choice is just going to move on. If she's kind, she won't insult you back. If she isn't, she just might give a verbal tongue lashing, and that's not the kind of tongue action you want!
3. Invading her space when I meet her. Once I make my initial opening, tell her my name, shake her hand; I then actually take a step back, away from her, to give her back her space.
Women tell me that, to them, it demonstrates respect. It also indicates that, while I am strong enough to come up and meet them, I am also concerned with their safety, and they like that combination. And finally, it indicates a challenge: just because she gave me a good initial response to my opener, doesn't mean she has me! It establishes a challenge, right away.
Peace and piece,
http://www.articledashboard.com/Article/What-To-Say-To-Meet-Women-Anywhere-/259413
