Have you ever noticed that it is much easier to attract a potential partner or lover, if you already have one? Have you noticed that if you are not really looking for a relationship a lot more of people show an interest in you, but if you get desperate and show you are looking for someone, they run away!
At least this has happened to me more than once and I have talked to other people, that do confirm the same. It seems to be quite common. If you have a partner, others want to partner with you, if you are actively and obviously looking around, nobody cares, but if you don´t even think about a mate, they come to you all by themselves. But before we put this down to some bizarre quirk of human nature, lets look a little at the cause of this behavior and see if we can make it work for us.
A key thing in finding a mate is to not really need one. This sounds odd, but it seems to be the plain truth. I found out, that if you need or desire to look for a partner too much, it can drift them away. But now, you say, what do I do if I really feel desparate? What can I do if I am really looking for my match or mate?
Another tricky thing of human nature is that our nervous system finds it difficult to tell the difference in between imagined experience and a real one. Just think about watching an exciting or very scary movie to see how easy it is to fool ourselves. And now, here we go. This is the key to never feel desperate about finding a partner.
And this is the key rule of this article, and the key rule to your success:
If we want to find a partner, then the best thing is to imagine that we have one already...!!!
Imagining that we already have the perfect partner and get into the feeling on how it would be to have him or her right now calms down and pacifies our complete nervous system. It gives us a feeling of fulfillment and takes away feelings of desperation. This comes into effect particularly when you go let your imagination dive into details. What you will do together, what you will say, where you will go and so on...
This does not mean you should change your mind to become a hopeless day dreamer. It is just meant to be what it´s meant for (funny sentence, is it...?). This is, helping you to make your charisma more attractive and to provide you with a personal appearance open to help you to find your desired match in real life.
So please bear in mind that I am not talking about yearning for someone. Sitting around depressivly yearning for someone is absolutely different from imagining you already have them. Yearning is a feeling of not having. It is a negative feeling and makes us even more desparate. What we need to do is to discourage ourselves from cultivationg such feelings. We shall rather encourage ourselves to cultivate feelings from having and success. You can easily tell the difference, because such feelings are loaded with positve energies and really can make us feel much better.
Now you can say, this is just a trick of the mind. And I will tell you - so what? It is more or less a trick of the mind. But a trick that will really help you in your real search for your mate in your real life! So - what? It is somewhat scientific and logic, and this is why it works! Negative feelings of failure or resignative feelings that we will never find anyone are also all part of imagination. Such feelings will almost certainly prevent you from finding your match. Negative imaginations can go as far as to prevent you from success in life. This is using our mind and imagination against us. You all know such negative feelings. And we all know how they can harm our lifes. But they are just feelings and imagination. So, as we know such feelings and imaginations are so powerful, why not using them to our benefit, instead of our disadvantage? This is why it is true, that positive feelings and positive imagination can help us not only to find a partner for us, but in our complete life as well. They will definitely make you more successful. It is only a question to control your imagination as far as possible. And this can be very far!
If all this still sounds strange and odd to you, remember what top athlets do if they want to improve their abilities. They imagine achieving better times in a race, jumping higher, lifting heavier weights and so on. They imagine how it will feel to achieve their goals. Athlets do not have the time to mess around with tactics that don´t work. Successful business people do not either. But both use positive imagination to help them succeed and come at least mcuh closer to their targets. And this is what you can do, too. You can use this effect in any aspect of your private or business life. And you can use it in terms of dating and matchfinding.
By simply imagining that we do have the perfect partner already, and how this will feel like, we train our subconscious mind to start making that happen. And because we are more calm and relaxed about it, chances are high that we make the best out of it when the next opportunity, say a good looking man or woman, comes along. If you are actively going to try this and you are willing to spend a few minutes on it every day, e.g. when you are sitting in the train, the subway, the airport or wherever, you will move a nice step forward to your real life dating success.
About the author:William F. Martin offers interesting views on dating and relationships. He offers wholistic tips and advice to creating a healthy relationship with the man or woman of your dreams. Check out his dating site to find a partner at http://www.meetyourgreens.com --- Publish or download articles or for free on: http://www.GoArticles.com | http://www.Dreamicles.com | http://www.AZ-Articles.com .
