Hollywood has encouraged the public to become more curious about the relationship between friendship and sex. Where does one stop, and where does the other begin? The following article does not answer that question. The following article focuses on one element that is an essential part of both sex and friendship. The following article underscores the benefits of good communications.
Both friendship and sex rely on the adept use of communication. A friend or sexual partner often serves as a “listening post,” a person who will lend an ear to the woes and boasts of a close friend or lover. During both friendship and sex, two driving forces motivate such all-important communication.
One of those forces arises from the desire by two people to know information. One friend, for example, wants to learn as much information as possible about a second friend. Someone in love hopes to know more about the cause of his or her heartthrob. Communication offers a tool by which to obtain a few desired facts.
The second force that encourages communication during both friendship and sex is the decision to talk. To be truly effective, communication should take the form of a two-way communication. Both friends and both sex partners must demonstrate a willingness to share information with another person.
The communication that takes place during either a friendship or a sex driven relationship seldom focuses on tangibles. Friends and lovers do not spend many hours discussing facts. Instead, they concentrate on sharing emotions. If a friend or lover does decide to discuss facts, then the cited facts frequently betray the friend or lover’s emotions.
For example, a friend might say, “I appreciate your help.” A lover might say, “I care about you.” Both of those phrases convey an emotional attachment—an attachment that can pave the way for friendship and sex.
Friendship and sex lay the groundwork for a long-term relationship. Yet in neither case is that relationship one that frees either party from responsibility. Two people who care about each other should feel obligated to carry-out valuable communications.
How can a friend or sex partner increase the value of his or her communications? He or she must learn how to make a non-intrusive inquiry. He or she must ask gently how a friend or lover feels. He or she must then become a receptive listener.
Most importantly, the friend or lover who has been provided with personal information must hold such information in strictest confidence. Both friendship and sex lead to the sharing of personal information between two people. Neither friendship nor sex gives those who hear such information the right to share it freely with others.
One friend should not have to spy on a second friend. A lover should not feel compelled to spy on a sex partner. Each should feel comfortable with the provided information. When one friend or one lover feels compelled to spy on the other then that can bespeak the end of the relationship.
Friendship can sometimes lead to sex. Friendship can also have other ramifications. For that reason, it is always good to keep in mind this phrase: “Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are.” It is a phrase that many teens would like their parents to discount, but it is a phrase well worth recalling.
Time has proven the value of that simple phrase—a phrase that can serve as a guide for both friendship and sex.
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