One of the most unfortunate truths in the dating world is that a disproportionately large number of single adults have actually given up on dating completely. Interestingly, some such people really have no concrete answer as to why this is. Others are readily able to come up with an excuse or two (or ten). Either way, it's tragic that so many people voluntarily choose a life without any chance of meeting a "significant other".
My personal feeling is that just about any one of us walking this planet could theoretically join the throng of those who have thrown in the towel on dating. Each one of us could cite some excuse of our own and be done with it-after all, nobody's perfect.
Yet there are plenty of people who experience wild success in the dating world despite their own subset of imperfections. The secret is figuring out what negative thoughts are theoretically limiting us and addressing them effectively.
While there are an infinite number of reasons people can cite for dating failure, there's a definite "Top Ten List" of excuses people tend to cling to for dating failure. Today we'll consider the first five:
1) Physical Limitations
While it's always a great idea to be in the best shape one can and to make some effort with regard to one's appearance, it's shocking how many people cite a relatively minor physical imperfection and automatically assume nobody will be interested in dating them. Ironically, many of what we see as "limitations" may be "perfect imperfections" in the eyes of a beholder.
2) Advanced Age
It's not uncommon to believe one is "too old" to date. Amazingly, this sentiment can present itself as early as 28 or 30 years of age for some people! Meanwhile, a simple look around shows that there are "newlyweds" of all ages out there. Logically, of course, all of these people had to start dating somewhere...and it probably wasn't years and years ago! Interesting, despite the stereotype of older guys dating younger women I find that men and women make this excuse in equal numbers.
3) Kids
How many single parents exclude themselves from the dating pool using their kids as an excuse? Many claim that they are just waiting until the kids "leave the nest" before dating again. This could mean ten or twenty years from now! Something tells me that someone who plays this card will simply utilize a different excuse after the kids are finally out of the house (maybe the one above?). Other single parents claim that "nobody will accept them and their kids as a package deal". Hey, how about all the other single parents out there? Would they not relate better to another single parent? If you are one also why deny them the chance to meet you?
4) Games
If you've been lied to, cheated on and / or stood up repeatedly it's easy to call it quits on dating just to make sure it doesn't happen again. How about asking key questions of prospective dates up front instead? Find out what others are looking for from a relationship and encourage honesty. If you've been stood up some, call out "flakiness" in the very conversation in which the first date is arranged. These options, although very direct, are a lot more comfortable than spending life alone.
5) Finances
"Women want rich guys and I don't make enough money." "Dating is too expensive." "I can't afford a babysitter". Yawn. Whatever happened to assuming the best from someone else? Not all women are "gold diggers". Likewise, if a single parent is financially strapped enough that hiring a babysitter is out of the question, it's not uncommon for a potential suitor to volunteer to cover the cost. Although it may be uncomfortable to accept such an offer, consider that denying it means you are depriving someone of the chance to date you...which is what he or she clearly prefers or the offer wouldn't have been extended.
Already you may be getting the idea that it's easy for just about anyone to pick an excuse and run with it-and that each one is often merely a front for remaining in one's "comfort zone". Indeed, dating is not for lazy people. Leaving that "comfort zone" is prerequisite for conquering fears or feeling of inadequacy and taking direct control of one's future happiness.
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