It doesn't matter if you are in a forest, a supermarket, a nightclub, or a busy city - people will be influenced by your social proof.
Social proof is one of the most potent ways of influencing the social behavior of others.
How does social proof work?
Put simply, human beings will often look to others to determine how they should behave and feel.
"Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer." Cavett Robert
The belief behind social proof is: If enough people are thinking/doing it then it MUST be true/the right thing to do.
Here's an example: You walk into a bar and immediately start talking to women. Other women who notice this will assume that you are liked by women and thus see you as an attractive option.
When you are accepted socially and have a lot of people interested in you, the amount of people who are interested in you will increase exponentially.
Think of celebrities. Celebrities are liked by more people the more popular they become. They may also be hated by jealous people, but that isn't their problem. A male celebrity can literally have billions of women who are sexually interested in him. Imagine that!
Let's scale it down to normal reality where 99.99% of us won't become superstars or celebrities. Would if be fair to estimate that as a normal guy you could have hundreds of women who are sexually interested in you...each week?
The answer you're looking for is YES!
* Creating Social Proof if You Aren't a Celebrity or High-Status Person
Walk around and behave as if it is your club/party/social event/bookstore/etc and that all the people there are your friends or your guests.
Hence my conversation starter that I like to use, "Hey guys - what's happenin...I just got here...this place is cool...what's been happening for you guys so far tonight?"
Assume rapport with everyone including the staff. Think about it.
If you were a confident social person, how would you behave in your own home when you had guests over? Here are some ideas:
- Walk around and say hi to people, "Hey guys, is everyone here having a good time tonight? Excellent...cheers! Then clink glasses with some of them, or just walk off like you are going to 'check in' with the next group.
- High-5 people and say "Hi" or "Hey, what's going on!"
- Warmly greet the bar staff and waiters like they are old friends.
- Confidently project your voice when talking.
- Take over a section of the bar/club/venue and make it yours. Stand/sit there, respectfully move tables and chairs to suit, etc.
- Introduce yourself to strangers.
* Social Proof Through Conversation
Although actions will always speak louder than words, social proof can also be related through conversation.
Another example: You might start talking to a woman and end up telling her about how you and 10 of your close friends went to the snow last winter and hired out a log cabin. Such a story demonstrates that:
a) You have friends.
b) You are accepted by a large number of people, who trust you enough to be alone with you.
c) You are adventurous enough to go to the snow and stay in a log cabin.
* The Gravitational Pull Towards Socially Successful or 'Popular' People
Have you ever noticed that people tend to gravitate toward those who have larger social circles, a lot of alliances, or who are popular or successful?
Why is that? It's a survival instinct. Long before we developed functional societies that offered goods & services - food, shelter and safety were more easily found when we stuck with a larger tribe. It also meant that we would have more options of people to breed with.
In developed worlds, people who maintain large social circles and lots of alliances are viewed with more favor than those who don't.
So what should that tell you? Be social, create a lot of alliances and give off signals that you are a high-status male who deserves only the best.
Work on creating more success for yourself and build your social circle with relevant people.
The result: People will instinctively begin to gravitate towards you to ensure their survival and you will have more opportunities to create even more success with women.
http://www.articleshelf.com/Article/Why-Does-Social-Proof-Attract-Women-/47476
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
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3 Easy Tips on How to Ask a Girl Out
Do you find yourself struggling with how to ask a girl out?
She's attractive, interesting and has a great personality. But every time you're around her, you can't seem to figure out how to ask her out on a date? Well if this sounds like you, then you're not alone. In fact, lots of other guys have problems with getting a date.
What's funny is it's actually pretty easy to ask a girl out on a date. If you know the RIGHT sequence of events and how to set things up, it'll be easy to land a date without making her feel pressured or uncomfortable.
If you follow my 3 step plan, you'll easily increase your chances of a woman accepting your date request. Let's get started...
Your first is to make sure you build attraction around this girl. When you first meet her (or if you already know her), the conversation must get to the point where she is interested in what you have to say. So this means you should display ALL the traits that she'll find attractive.
For instance, you should do the following:
* Display an alpha male personality
* Demonstrate higher status
* Be cocky/funny
* Tell interesting stories
* Ask provocative questions
Now during the process of attraction building you need to show one additional thing: You have an interesting life. When you're talking to this girl, you should mention how you like to do fun things.
Specifically you should mention an event you're doing within the next week. The key to this step is to discuss how much fun you're going to have and why you're really excited about it. Then steer the conversation towards something else that she finds interesting.
Finally you'll come to the conclusion of the conversation. This is the moment where you'll ask her out. Instead of just getting her number, you should act like you had a sudden thought. Mention that she might be interested in the event you were recently discussing. Then tell her "it would be cool if you tag along". Get her number and let her know that you'll call with more details.
This technique for asking a girl out is a great way to set up a date without having to resort to specifically giving a date request. You build attraction and excitement about a specific event. Then you ask the girl out without making her feel uncomfortable with an uncomfortable dating environment.
Asking a girl out can be hard for a lot of guys. The trick is to know how to build excitement about date and eliminate her nervousness. If you make her interested about the date, you'll discover that it's easy to make her want to go out with you.
http://www.articleshelf.com/Article/3-Easy-Tips-on-How-to-Ask-a-Girl-Out/47611
She's attractive, interesting and has a great personality. But every time you're around her, you can't seem to figure out how to ask her out on a date? Well if this sounds like you, then you're not alone. In fact, lots of other guys have problems with getting a date.
What's funny is it's actually pretty easy to ask a girl out on a date. If you know the RIGHT sequence of events and how to set things up, it'll be easy to land a date without making her feel pressured or uncomfortable.
If you follow my 3 step plan, you'll easily increase your chances of a woman accepting your date request. Let's get started...
Your first is to make sure you build attraction around this girl. When you first meet her (or if you already know her), the conversation must get to the point where she is interested in what you have to say. So this means you should display ALL the traits that she'll find attractive.
For instance, you should do the following:
* Display an alpha male personality
* Demonstrate higher status
* Be cocky/funny
* Tell interesting stories
* Ask provocative questions
Now during the process of attraction building you need to show one additional thing: You have an interesting life. When you're talking to this girl, you should mention how you like to do fun things.
Specifically you should mention an event you're doing within the next week. The key to this step is to discuss how much fun you're going to have and why you're really excited about it. Then steer the conversation towards something else that she finds interesting.
Finally you'll come to the conclusion of the conversation. This is the moment where you'll ask her out. Instead of just getting her number, you should act like you had a sudden thought. Mention that she might be interested in the event you were recently discussing. Then tell her "it would be cool if you tag along". Get her number and let her know that you'll call with more details.
This technique for asking a girl out is a great way to set up a date without having to resort to specifically giving a date request. You build attraction and excitement about a specific event. Then you ask the girl out without making her feel uncomfortable with an uncomfortable dating environment.
Asking a girl out can be hard for a lot of guys. The trick is to know how to build excitement about date and eliminate her nervousness. If you make her interested about the date, you'll discover that it's easy to make her want to go out with you.
http://www.articleshelf.com/Article/3-Easy-Tips-on-How-to-Ask-a-Girl-Out/47611
Overcoming Nervousness Around Women
Your #1 priority when first interacting with a woman is to make her feel relaxed around you.
You'll find this extremely difficult to do if your nervous, so here are some insights on overcoming nervousness around women.
If you are nervous when you approach a woman and start an interaction, then you are going to make her feel uncomfortable about continuing to interact with you.
Some examples of nervous behaviors:
- Fidgeting.
- Fast movements (e.g. darting eyes, quick gestures).
- Not being able to maintain eye contact.
- Gulping in fear.
- Becoming dry-mouthed.
- Being overly nice and accommodating.
- Tense facial muscles.
- Laughing nervously at all of her jokes.
Let's look at a couple of the examples and dig into what they really mean, to help you on your journey to overcoming nervousness:
Not being able to maintain eye contact: If a man is unable to hold eye contact with a woman and looks away first, she will gain the power in the situation.
She will instantly become the more masculine one in the interaction and perceive the man to be psychologically weaker than she is.
That is not attractive to women. Not being able to maintain eye contact with a woman is a very subtle exchange of body language, but it will speak volumes about you as a man.
You may be thinking, "Should I stare her down during interactions?"
Not at all. If your eyes do meet you should be comfortable enough to hold the eye contact. However, you don't always need to hold the eye contact.
You should also be comfortable enough to raise an eyebrow, squint your eyes a little and give an endearing sort of smile. Example: Sean Connery as James Bond.
From afar, your smile can communicate things like "I am a confident male and I know that you want me. Frankly, I find that kind of cute. You and I just had a private little moment. You are attracted to me and you want me to approach you and say hi."
You'll be amazed at how good you can get at communicating similar messages with your body language. You'll also be amazed to realize that most guys don't have the confidence to do it.
Fast movements (e.g. darting eyes, quick gestures): Imagine a confident, composed guy standing against a bar. Can you see him now?
Notice how calm he is. Notice that he isn't darting his eyes around in fear. He is composed.
A simple way of overcoming nervousness is to slow down your thoughts and movements. This is especially important in situations where people 'typically' become tense, fidgety and nervous.
Be the cool, calm and collected one when everyone else is fidgeting and looking around like nervous mice.
If you are fidgeting and darting your eyes around, women (and people) will perceive that to mean you are uncomfortable, unsure of yourself and insecure. That is not attractive to women.
"Living in Your Own Reality"
Learning to live in your own reality is an important step in becoming a natural with women and overcoming nervousness.
Let me ask you: Have you ever been to a take-away store where you can request the ingredients that go into your sandwich?
If yes, have you ever noticed that people order their sandwiches in many different ways?
It's interesting. Some people order apologetically, some rudely, some nonchalantly, some nervously and so on. However, every once in a while a person will come along and order a custom-made sandwich with a free-flowing confidence.
Let's go into the store. Imagine that you've already ordered your sandwich and you have sat down in the store to eat it.
A guy walks in, projects his voice confidently (but not obnoxiously) and assumes rapport with the women behind the counter.
They all immediately get along as if they are old friends. Realizing that he isn't the kind of guy to take cues on how to behave from you, you begin to feel like a guest in HIS reality.
His reality is the most dominant in the room. Next, you notice that he is flirting with the women behind the counter. For example:
Him: "Okay...so, which one of you lovely ladies can make a better sandwich"
Women: (They point at each other and giggle).
Him: "I tell you what... I'm sensing that you both have some pretty extraordinary sandwich-making abilities, but I don't know about you...!" he says as he playfully points at one of the women, "You seem like the sort of lady who secretly dreams about putting massive squirts of chili in a customer's sandwich and then watching him squirm and go all red in the face when he takes a bite. Would that be true?"
Woman: "No, no!"
Him: "Are you sure??? Because I kinda get that feeling about you!"
Woman: "Yes, yes I promise"
Him: "Okay, I'll have a salad sandwich then...with extra chilli please."
Women: (Laughing).
Now, those of you who don't understand how attraction or flirting works may be thinking, "But, wasn't he being rude or potentially offensive?"
No. In fact, he'd most likely receive favorable treatment the next time he visits the store. Why?
1. He made the women feel emotions.
2. He treated the women like real people and not like boring, robots servants who have no personality or feelings.
3. He most likely stood out from all the other customers they'd met that day.
4. Women appreciate a man who can make them feel the emotion of attraction. 100 times more than one who can't.
Now, let me ask you some questions: Have you ever seen a guy behave like that? How differently did you look at him?
Were you secretly a little envious of his state of mind? Who had a higher social status in that situation? You or him?
A bit part of overcoming nervousness is changing the way you think about yourself and how you use your body (i.e. tone of voice, confident body language, etc).
Make an effort the next time you're out in public to assume that people like you. Trust me, they will like you more if you do, because you'll come across as a cooler, more confident guy.
http://www.articleshelf.com/Article/Overcoming-Nervousness-Around-Women/47625
You'll find this extremely difficult to do if your nervous, so here are some insights on overcoming nervousness around women.
If you are nervous when you approach a woman and start an interaction, then you are going to make her feel uncomfortable about continuing to interact with you.
Some examples of nervous behaviors:
- Fidgeting.
- Fast movements (e.g. darting eyes, quick gestures).
- Not being able to maintain eye contact.
- Gulping in fear.
- Becoming dry-mouthed.
- Being overly nice and accommodating.
- Tense facial muscles.
- Laughing nervously at all of her jokes.
Let's look at a couple of the examples and dig into what they really mean, to help you on your journey to overcoming nervousness:
Not being able to maintain eye contact: If a man is unable to hold eye contact with a woman and looks away first, she will gain the power in the situation.
She will instantly become the more masculine one in the interaction and perceive the man to be psychologically weaker than she is.
That is not attractive to women. Not being able to maintain eye contact with a woman is a very subtle exchange of body language, but it will speak volumes about you as a man.
You may be thinking, "Should I stare her down during interactions?"
Not at all. If your eyes do meet you should be comfortable enough to hold the eye contact. However, you don't always need to hold the eye contact.
You should also be comfortable enough to raise an eyebrow, squint your eyes a little and give an endearing sort of smile. Example: Sean Connery as James Bond.
From afar, your smile can communicate things like "I am a confident male and I know that you want me. Frankly, I find that kind of cute. You and I just had a private little moment. You are attracted to me and you want me to approach you and say hi."
You'll be amazed at how good you can get at communicating similar messages with your body language. You'll also be amazed to realize that most guys don't have the confidence to do it.
Fast movements (e.g. darting eyes, quick gestures): Imagine a confident, composed guy standing against a bar. Can you see him now?
Notice how calm he is. Notice that he isn't darting his eyes around in fear. He is composed.
A simple way of overcoming nervousness is to slow down your thoughts and movements. This is especially important in situations where people 'typically' become tense, fidgety and nervous.
Be the cool, calm and collected one when everyone else is fidgeting and looking around like nervous mice.
If you are fidgeting and darting your eyes around, women (and people) will perceive that to mean you are uncomfortable, unsure of yourself and insecure. That is not attractive to women.
"Living in Your Own Reality"
Learning to live in your own reality is an important step in becoming a natural with women and overcoming nervousness.
Let me ask you: Have you ever been to a take-away store where you can request the ingredients that go into your sandwich?
If yes, have you ever noticed that people order their sandwiches in many different ways?
It's interesting. Some people order apologetically, some rudely, some nonchalantly, some nervously and so on. However, every once in a while a person will come along and order a custom-made sandwich with a free-flowing confidence.
Let's go into the store. Imagine that you've already ordered your sandwich and you have sat down in the store to eat it.
A guy walks in, projects his voice confidently (but not obnoxiously) and assumes rapport with the women behind the counter.
They all immediately get along as if they are old friends. Realizing that he isn't the kind of guy to take cues on how to behave from you, you begin to feel like a guest in HIS reality.
His reality is the most dominant in the room. Next, you notice that he is flirting with the women behind the counter. For example:
Him: "Okay...so, which one of you lovely ladies can make a better sandwich"
Women: (They point at each other and giggle).
Him: "I tell you what... I'm sensing that you both have some pretty extraordinary sandwich-making abilities, but I don't know about you...!" he says as he playfully points at one of the women, "You seem like the sort of lady who secretly dreams about putting massive squirts of chili in a customer's sandwich and then watching him squirm and go all red in the face when he takes a bite. Would that be true?"
Woman: "No, no!"
Him: "Are you sure??? Because I kinda get that feeling about you!"
Woman: "Yes, yes I promise"
Him: "Okay, I'll have a salad sandwich then...with extra chilli please."
Women: (Laughing).
Now, those of you who don't understand how attraction or flirting works may be thinking, "But, wasn't he being rude or potentially offensive?"
No. In fact, he'd most likely receive favorable treatment the next time he visits the store. Why?
1. He made the women feel emotions.
2. He treated the women like real people and not like boring, robots servants who have no personality or feelings.
3. He most likely stood out from all the other customers they'd met that day.
4. Women appreciate a man who can make them feel the emotion of attraction. 100 times more than one who can't.
Now, let me ask you some questions: Have you ever seen a guy behave like that? How differently did you look at him?
Were you secretly a little envious of his state of mind? Who had a higher social status in that situation? You or him?
A bit part of overcoming nervousness is changing the way you think about yourself and how you use your body (i.e. tone of voice, confident body language, etc).
Make an effort the next time you're out in public to assume that people like you. Trust me, they will like you more if you do, because you'll come across as a cooler, more confident guy.
http://www.articleshelf.com/Article/Overcoming-Nervousness-Around-Women/47625
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