We all know people who are burned out on dating. Perhaps you are one of them. Perhaps you have thrown yourself into the dating world more than once, looking for that Mr. or Ms. Right, only to come up empty handed and disappointed.
And so, the heck with dating, you say. If Mr. or Ms. Right is going to find me, he or she will have to find me in my life. And you are right. Dating, as it exists in our culture, be it Internet dating, personals, dating services, etc. rarely facilitates meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. And if it doesn't give you what you want, why bother, right?
Hold on to your seat, because I am about to tell you why you should run, not walk, to your nearest mass dating opportunity if you are ever to me meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
Let's have one of my clients tell you what she has learned from mass dating: " I have learned "how to read people." My intuition has really gotten much sharper from mass dating!!! This is another benefit from mass mating......I can learn quickly whether or not someone is good for me......eliminating dating people for extended periods of time and then dealing with a break up!!" -J
Let's start with saying that you will not be looking for Mr. or Ms. Right while dating. And yet, you will be doing some other extremely valuable things.
10 powerful reasons you should start a mass dating campaign, without the goal of finding Mr. or Ms. Right
1. See who you attract
One of the main reasons to do a lot of dating is to see who you attract. This is a great test of how close you are to meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. The people who will pick you out on a dating website or from an ad will remarkably resemble the types of people you will attract in a real life situation.
If you find you are attracting people who remind you of your past relationships or who are not a good match, take it as an opportunity to do some soul searching. Look into what in you is attracting incompatible mates.
2. See who you are attracted to
To engage in a lot of dating is a great way to figure out who you are attracted to. As you probably know, who you are attracted to initially is not necessarily someone who can build a good relationship with you. Mass dating allows you to discover patterns in your attraction, to see real live examples of your tendencies in relationships.
Are you drawn to people who are unavailable, or are you drawn to people who deeply want a relationship? If it is the former, delve deeply into what attracts you to people who are not available. In this exploration, you will find the key to attracting the kind of mate you crave.
3. Learn about yourself
Mass dating is a great arena to learn about yourself. There is no greater power than knowledge. Armed with knowledge, you can choose to change behavior that does not serve you or makes you feel comfortable.
Learn how you behave when you first meet someone. Learn how you behave on a date. Learn how much or how little you reveal about yourself. Learn whether you are more interesting or interested in the other person. Learn what happens when you are attracted to someone. Then, transform what you don't like and what does not serve you.
4. Get comfortable
Not everyone is comfortable with dating. In fact, most people are not comfortable, especially when they feel attracted to the person they are with. Mass dating is a great way to learn to get comfortable, which is a pretty important thing.
If you can be comfortable on a date, you can be keenly in touch with your feelings and can detect who you are on a date with. When calm, you can distinguish a person who wants a relationship from a person who will engage quickly and will burn out quickly.
5. Practice setting boundaries
Are you comfortable with gently setting boundaries? Are you comfortable saying yes or no to something, and feeling the conversation and the relationship can continue unharmed? Dating many people, many times, can train you to set boundaries in a firm yet gentle way.
Why are boundaries important? Boundaries show self-respect. Boundaries give you the safety to venture into a relationship and know you will take care of you no matter what. Date a lot, and practice setting boundaries without hurting or shocking people.
6. Disprove your beliefs
Here is a great way to use mass dating. Disprove what ever you believe about the opposite sex. Decide to attract, meet and date people who are opposite or different from what you believe most of the opposite sex to be.
So, if you believe most men cannot communicate deeply, decide to meet many men who yearn for deep, soulful conversations. And, if you believe most women have become hard and cutting, decide to meet many women who are gentle and loving.
If you do not meet people who disprove your beliefs, you are probably attached to the world being exactly how you think it is. Perhaps, it is time to consider some radical actions to break up your belief systems.
7. Get a sense of abundance of possibilities
Many singles, busy in their professional lives and with their friends and families, feel a deep sense of scarcity regarding meeting a compatible mate. Mass dating is great for this sort of thing.
When you get out there with the purpose of dating on a wide scale, you start to see many other singles, available and interested in a relationship. Over time, if you continue to date, you will feel a sense of abundance. By seeing abundance, you can start to trust again that you will meet your Mr. or Ms. Right.
8. Feel desirable
It's not hard to feel unwanted and undesirable when you are not spending much time with the opposite sex. And, feeling unwanted and undesirable dims your light, makes you less attractive, lowers your self-esteem, and perhaps even makes you want to hide. Not a great thing if you are ever to attract Mr. or Ms. Right.
If you get out there enough, you will attract many, many people who will be interested in dating you. A great tonic for feeling undesirable.
9. Expand your community
If you are to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it is a good idea to widen your community. And, if you are growing and changing, upgrading your community to match the new you is a great idea as well.
Mass dating could be just the thing for expanding your community. Approach dating as a way to meet new people and form relationships, instead of a way to form THE relationship. Many great friendships, business leads and dating a friend of a friend have come out of mass dating.
10. Have fun
Dating is an adult playground. When you date, you go to nice places, listen to music, dance, go to plays, dinner, movies, etc. You engage in activities that most of us do not make much time for in our busy lives.
If you are feeling a lack of fun in your life, go out and start dating and playing. It will make your life satisfaction quotient go up, and in turn, will make you very attractive to Mr. or Ms. Right.
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