Tuesday, November 13, 2007

They Probably Don’t Like You. Meet Her Friends and Survive!

Wow. You two really click when you're together. So to her it's only natural that you finally meet her friends.

"Great, can't wait", you tell her as you break into a cold sweat. You check your calendar in the hopes you have a dentist appointment that week. No such luck.

Is it that stressful? It can be. Her friends are very important to her and their opinions have the potential of making or breaking the relationship. For that reason it's crucial that you make a good impression and gain their trust.

The first step is to introduce yourself. It tells her friends you have confidence and cannot be intimidated. Intimidation equals manipulation equals no respect and her friends aren't going to go to bat for you if they don't respect you. Taking the initiative also lets her friends know you are not just putting on an act because your girlfriend insists you meet them.

Once you get acquainted with her friends do everything possible to remember their names but more than that, DON'T mix up their names later on. It doesn't matter if they all dress and act alike; calling one of her friends by the wrong name is a major gaffe. How bad is it? It's almost as bad as calling your girlfriend by the wrong name (ouch!). Use whatever word association tricks you need to keep the names straight.

You're in it now so don't sit there like a statue. Get involved in the conversation .This shows that you are interested in getting to know them. Don't hog the conversation but take an active part. Your girlfriend will appreciate the effort and more important her friends will have no reason not to like you…in the beginning at least (Hey that's life. You're trying to be Mr. Wonderful not Captain Perfect).

Now comes the balancing act. Your girlfriend may want you to take an interest in her friends but don't go overboard. Getting to know her friends is one thing but if she senses you're flirting (and women are very in tune to that sort of thing) or ignoring her in your effort to be friendly, it can cause problems or doom the relationship. Exercise caution when meeting her friends. Take an interest but not too much.

Listen carefully when you meet her friends for the first time. Try to hang on to as much information about them as possible. After the meeting when you're alone with your girlfriend, make a casual comment or ask a question RELATED to the earlier meeting. This lets her know that you were listening and that you have a real interest in getting to know her friends. Again this is a balancing act but for the most part you can pretty much figure that saying "you're girlfriend with the blue dress and cute dimples looked hot" is asking for trouble.

Your girlfriend's buddies are probably going to play a significant role in whether or not the relationship survives. Yes, it can seem like one long job interview but try to make a genuine effort to get to know her friends. Since you will probably be spending quite a bit of time with them, starting a courteous, respectful relationship can only make your girlfriend happy and your life a whole lot easier.



http://www.articlejoe.com/Article/They-Probably-Don-t-Like-You--Meet-Her-Friends-and-Survive-/27519