Single parent dating tips have to address issues that people without children don’t ever have to worry about. Let’s face it – being a single parent is pretty difficult at times to begin with. Throw trying to establish a special adult relationship into the mix and you’ve got lots of complications. I’ve put together some single parent dating tips that can help simplify things so that you can relax and enjoy dating again.
Explaining it to Your Kids
When you are going out on a date, let your kids know that you’re going out with a friend. It’s a simple, honest explanation. Especially with younger kids, no more details are needed; if they ask who the friend is, simply say that it is someone from work, a friend of your neighbor, or whoever it is. Don’t try to explain too much – simpler is better.
Avoiding Resentment
Don’t introduce your children to someone you’re dating until you’re pretty sure the relationship is going somewhere. Meeting several different people over time will only confuse them, and they may come to resent your dating anyone at all.
Introduce Your New Friend Slowly
Once you’re ready to introduce your significant other to your children, do so slowly. The first time, it should be simply ice cream or perhaps some time in the park. Gradually allow more time with the kids and include them on some appropriate “family dates.”
Your Children Come First
Here is a very important single parent dating tip: make it clear from the beginning that your children will come first in any situation. If this seems to be a problem for anyone you’re seeing, it’s time to stop the relationship. Any man or woman who is jealous of your children isn’t a good bet for a relationship.
Your Commitments Come First
If you’re a single parent who only sees his children every other weekend or a similar schedule, make this clear. Tell someone you are dating that you won’t be available on those weekends, and stick to it until you’re ready to have everyone get together. This reassures your children and gives the person you’re dating an idea of the commitment involved in dating someone with children.
Don’t Move Too Quickly
If you allow your kids to get close to someone early on, only to break up with them a few months later, they will end up hurt and confused. This is especially essential if you’re just starting to date again or if you’ve recently divorced.
Listen to Your Kids
Once your children have met someone you’re dating, listen to their input. (A dating tip I got from a lot of single parents). This doesn’t mean nixing your social life if your son or daughter says, “I don’t want you to date anymore,” without a good explanation. However, if he or she says they really don’t like him because he yells at them, doesn’t pay attention to them or just makes them uncomfortable, listen. Discuss the concerns with your companion, watch how he or she interacts with your children and put some real thought into the situation.
Don’t Parade Your Date in Front of an Ex
It may be tempting to let your ex know that you’ve moved on, but it’s unfair to use a date as a weapon. Your children will no doubt mention that you’re dating when they are with their other parent, and that’s fine. Don’t ask them to keep it a secret or they will feel like you are doing something wrong. Simply let things take their course, and answer their questions honestly.
Reassure Your Children
Reassure your children that dating someone is completely separate from your love for them. Explain the importance of having a special adult in your life, but that it doesn’t diminish your feelings for them.
These single parent dating tips won’t guarantee completely smooth sailing, but it will make the process less confusing for everyone concerned.
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