when deaf people love more
What is Deaf Poly Life?
The Yahoo group Deaf PolyLife isa groupofdeaf and hard of hearingmen and women who discuss thelifestyle of openly loving more than one person, known aspolyamory.
The Deaf PolyLife group maintains a Deaf Polyamory Resource Center. This resource center provides a detailed explanation of polyamory and links to several polyamory resources.
John "Raven" Schumacher is the leader of the Deaf Poly group, and is a junior at Gallaudet majoriing in ASL and deaf studies.He answered some questions posed by About:
Q: How did you come to be involved in deaf polyamory?
A: I was once a practicing Deaf Minister and did a study on marriage which led to learning about marriage and polygamy in the Bible but in my Internet research using the word just "poly" I came across a group of christians who support the idea of polyamory being actually biblical.
I came to what I still believe is a logical conclusion and as well as my bible study group that their information that polyamory and that you could still be a christian was correct.
My views on sex without marriage and in marriage as long as all people in the relationship agree with others truly evolved after this and I no longer wanted to be involved in most organized religion after than. I still hold my credentials as a minister and still freelance and help others.
After 2 years of studying the other polyamory issues on websites which tripled over the last 6 years. My wife and I discussed the idea of polyamory and she encouraged me to look and we worked out a set of agreements about what to look for, communication, and what to do if I found someone interested, etc. Assuring her that I would not leave her to find another woman...I've since had several successful relationships. I have now had the desire of making the Deaf Community more aware of polyamory. So I established the Deaf Polyamory Resource Center on the www and the Deaf Poly Life email list.
Q: Although your Yahoo group is small at this time do you have any idea how many deaf people are involved with the polyamory lifestyle?
A: I would estimate think approximately 1 percent of the USA deaf population... in the Deaf Community we have tons of people who cheat and have affairs or are swingers but this is not polyamory. I truly think if these Deaf people were more aware of polyamory in the Deaf Community people then they wouldn't need to cheat, nor would they need to hide their affairs and put their partners at risk for diseases. Being open and honest about their desires and needs is one of the reasons why polyamory is so fast spreading in the world today.
Q: How does the deaf community feel about the deaf poly lifestyle?
A: Their reaction has been anything from full agreement to absolute shock, envy and indignation from BOTH men and women. At times I have heard the Deaf Community make my life the topic of the gossip grapevine which is to be expected. Much misunderstandings about polyamory exists which is why I want to have more Deaf Community awareness about "polyamory: what is is and what it is not." I have many Deaf people ask me many questions and are curious just how living a polyamorous lifestyle works for me. Sometimes it is difficult because I am asked these questions in Deaf Clubs or around many Deaf people. I dont mind but the assumption is usually that people think I am trying to convert people to become polyamorous which is not what Im trying to do. I just want more Deaf people to become aware of what polyamory is.
Q: Do you feel accepted/respected or have you met with any hostility in the deaf community at large?
A: Since I "came out of the closet" being polyamorous I have seen reactions which have been mixed from Deaf men AND women: indifference, shock, amazement, envy or complete lack of acknowledgement that polyamory exists in the Deaf Community.
when deaf people love more
I do believe I am respected for who I am and at the same time I get some negative reactions from older women who feel I am hurting my wife in some way which I am not.I am told sometimes by the older generation of Deaf adults or the Deaf religious community that I am making my wife suffer by seeing other women, which is not the case. I tell them to ask her themselves if they dont believe me. (Many do and are astounded by her answer that she is not hurt by this and actually encourages and supports me - I'm lucky to have such a special woman in my life)
A Deaf Polyamorist
Mary Lee (not real name), a deaf polyamorist, explained how she came to be involved in the deaf poly lifestyle: "Most of my deaf friends know that I am open-minded about sex. One deaf friend suggested that should become the 'Dr.
Ruth' of the deaf community and get a Ph.D in sexuality. I knew that it was a joke, but I was still curious to see if there was any Internet material on deaf people and sexuality.
During my search, I ran across a new term, 'polyamory', that totally fascinated me. I understood how 'poly' meant multiple, and 'amor' meant love. I read avidly that polyamory was a broad term for an alternative lifestyle involving multiple partners in open and lasting relationships. I searched for a deaf polyamorist and actually found a name and email address of a deaf person that came out about his polyamory.
Unfortunately, when I emailed this person, the email bounced back. Defeated, I gave up the search. Last semester, my deaf friend told me about a deaf person she knew at Gallaudet University that was open-minded about sex like me. When she told me that he had a Yahoo group for deaf polyamory, I immediately signed up for it, hungry for more information about polyamory and curious about the other deaf people that belonged to this group. I began reading the archives and discovered that a famous deaf person had been exposed to ridicule from another deaf adversary because of his postings on this Yahoo group. I was surprised to see that the famous deaf person was still a member after such an invasion of privacy that I sent a note "Bravo!" The deaf moderator asked me about my note and during our IM conversations, we discovered he was the same person that I had tried to email in the first place long ago! What a small world!The moderator decided to delete the public yahoo group and create a more secure one with no archives."
http://deafness.about.com/cs/friendshiparticles/a/polyamory_2.htm
