How senior executives can find love again and avoid office gossip

Whether you are a high flying executive or an office junior, it is hard for relationship breakdown at home not to affect performance at work. Indeed many career-minded people find themselves in the sudden and unenviable position of being home alone. Something which most men, in my experience as a coach and matchmaker, are not very good at.

Preferring to spend as little time at home as possible, some seek solace by working long hours and avoiding the pain of coming back to an empty flat or house. It might have been the long hours that broke up the marriage; but there was choice then. Now there is very little. It comes down to work, golf (which is great, but you still come home alone) and the extra bottle or three in the Waitrose trolley.

Other times, many a divorced executive can be found at Thorpe Park, dressed in jeans and bomber jacket, with their young children in tow, fulfilling their part of the alternate weekends agreement.

So who do successful professionals turn to when they are seeking help with their personal lives? They don’t usually ask; proactively that is, there being little room for emotional vulnerability in the corporate environment.

And the professionals whose help they might seek come in the guise of executive coaches whose skills often extend to dealing with the personal relationships of their clients.

There is no getting away from it. Discord at home, or abject loneliness, can get in the way of productivity at work and, like it or not, that’s when coaching can often come into its own.

The adage of having a life in balance is something many divorced professionals struggle to maintain. They may want a relationship but they don’t have one for several reasons:

• They don’t have enough space in their lives to look for one
• They don’t create enough space in their lives to actually have one
• Their wives went off with the social ‘rolodex’ therefore they only know other men, in similar situations to themselves
• They don’t want to admit their vulnerability including the fact that they are scared that life might be passing them by
• Meeting unattached women in not as easy as it was when they were in their twenties
• They are not attracted to the women in the golf club
• It’s not okay to date someone at work, particularly when you are the boss and everyone is looking to you for leadership
• Internet dating and dating agencies have no appeal. After all, what senior executive in search of love, would want his photograph picked out by the office junior? Unfortunately, most online and offline dating, by virtue of its mass market appeal, exposes people to this risk
• They don’t trust themselves not to make the same relationship mistakes again

Many executives find coaching to be one option in such situations. However, there are also matchmaking services available. Finding a discreet, personalised and targeted service, can be the ideal solution for the high-flying male executive.

About The Author...
Formerly a Relate marriage guidance counsellor, Ariana Gee is a matchmaker and relationship coach. She helps successful professionals find their ideal partner through her personal matchmaking company, Real Connection, www.realconnection.co.uk, which offers an “intelligent approach to matchmaking”. She is co-author of “Be your own love coach” (New Holland Publishing).